180 days - Now shit gets done!
Today it's 180 days ago that I last saw porn. I feel a lot has changed since then, not just mental changes, but my life has changed so much.
I got a job. It's something I've wanted really bad for at least a year, and within a month from when I started, I just WENT. I just stepped through the doors of a company and told that I wanted a job there. It was such a sudden moment in which I decided to just GO. Something I wouldn't have done before. It was just clear to me that nothing could really go wrong.
I have much more time (obviously) and I've been using it to be more social and that's so much more satisfying. Homework or other tasks (especially behind a computer) I would "normally" duck out of by watching porn. Now shit gets done.
A lot has changed in how I view life. It's really too much to talk about now, but basically I see what I want to do with life, and that I can do it. I shouldn't waste time with something that only destroys, but instead do things that will improve my, AND other people's lifes, in any way possible.
(side note: I've heard people about it before, but I can't watch sad things without crying anymore, like wtf I can basically cry at any moment I'd like by watching something remotely sad :P)
It all happens very gradually so it may not be apparent at first, but I looked back at the past six months and I am sure that I wouldn't have changed like this if I had kept watching porn like I was.
A simple tip for those that can't get going: just do it. It's worth it. It's a challenge, but that's fine. It's even better that it's a challenge, but that is not apparent within the first few (3?) weeks you try it. I personally think a lot of guys that can't get past the first (and hardest) few weeks is that it's very hard to REALLY let it go. You may be afraid to never watch porn again. That's something I personally had (and to be really honest, still have) and I actually don't really know how to completely get over it, but I honestly think that if you can make this step, you're good.
Anyway, I'm very happy with my past six months, and very proud of my badge :)
I'm sure that to reward my body for this great success; my brain releases a little bit of... Dopamine ;)
LINK - Half a year of success.
60 DAY POST - 60 DAYS!
Wow, I just hit 60 days! That's 6000% longer than my 'streaks' before PornFree. :)
In order to provide some intel to this community I have to be realistic now though:
- I'm not cured of my fetishes. My fetishes were not just some sexual preference thingy, but actually terrible things. Because I really want to get rid of them, I will continue my streak and hope that at the 120 day mark I will be SANE again.
- DREAMS show me that I am definitely not cured. I've had 2 dreams where I decided to go watch porn, although these dreams ended before I could even get to the porn. However this does show that when I can't rationalize properly (your subconsciousness takes over in dreams) I would still fall for the well known trap called porn.
- Good to know maybe is that there was sort of a "dead zone" in the midst of my streak (days 30-45 I guess), where i'd have no incentive to watch porn, and also my libido felt low. If you experience this, BEWARE: The urge will return!
As stated in my third point, I have to admit that the urges to watch porn again have risen again, and I again have to fight to not watch porn...
THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD!
Seriously, in the mentioned "dead-zone" it was easy to not watch porn, but it WAS NOT satisfying. You may think i'm just saying this, but I actually feel this, I love fighting these urges, it makes me feel real, human, and alive. I can really physically feel the addiction too, I can feel it in my body. I'm not even talking about things coming up, but it's a real rush that I get. In these moments there is one ultimate way to experience the feeling of a mind getting stronger, and that is by showing you brain WHO IS BOSS!
tl;dr: yay 60 days:)
INITIAL POST - I'm going to get over my addiction.
I have known for quite long about NoFap, and i often thought it was some sort of a good idea. The only thing was, I didn't think it was really something for me; I just fapped maybe 2/3 times a week, which I thought was pretty ok (especially for my age).
Some things have changed however since that time, namely that recently I have been masturbating pretty much every day, and it are LOONG sessions... It literally consumes a lot of my time... I think it's way to often and long I do that now (up to 2 hours a day), and lately every day i've been wanting to stop it. However, everytime I get the room for myself (folks going to sleep/shopping etc...) I suddenly get a urge to fap to internet porn, it's almost as if I feel "This is my chance...".
This however is the moment I decide I have to admit I have an addiction to internet porn, and fapping. I hope posting about it will help me get over my addiction, and I can look back at this if i'm in the room by myself again.
Well, that's my post... thanks!