Since this community helped me alot, I want to share a little experience that made dealing with the entire porn addiction and ED problem much easier for me:
I went 120 days without porn or masturbation, but with occasional orgasms with girls, mostly from petting and oral sex. My condition has improved alot over this time, but I still have fluctuating erection quality which makes it difficult to gain or maintain an erection, especially during penetration. By now, I’m not entirely sure if my brain is still too numb towards the real thing or if performance anxiety is blocking me. But I’m confident the problem will solve itself when I keep going.
During this immensely confusing period, I was often afraid that I would never get back to normal, that I was broken, irreversibly out of order. This was really depressing, because it felt like sex was being stolen from my life and the only one to blame was myself.
A few weeks ago, I went on a road trip with my best female friend who is also my ex (it’s complicated and simple at the same time), which means I still have a lot of feelings for her. We ended up making out in an AirBNB, though I wasn’t planning on having sex with her due to fear of ED. But then, things went out of control. Suddenly, I was as aroused and relaxed as never before. She went totally wild herself, and suddenly asked me to put on a condom and have sex with her. And what do I say, it worked right away. No anxiety, no ED. We ended up having sex every night for one and a half weeks, with no problems whatsoever except a little oversensitivity in my penis and one single occasion of PE. A little while after, I was even able to have great, long sex twice with a random girl I don’t have feelings for (just a friend with benefits).
Even though I’ve still encountered fluctuating erection quality since then, these two girls showed me one really encouraging fact: I’m not broken at all how I thought I was. I’m just still blocked by something (may it be the consequences of porn abuse, over-masturbation, performance anxiety or that I tend to look at porn substitutes like Instagram once in a while). Given the right circumstances and trust in myself and the girl I’m with, I’m able to perform perfectly.
I’m pretty sure with most of you guys, it’s the same. You first encounter ED, the shock about this discovery may cause your ED to get worse, and you feel like this is just the beginning of a slow decline, a point of no return. But that is just not the truth. Porn addiction isn’t a one-way-road to hell, it goes both directions. You just need to stay away from porn and rewire in order to get back to normal, maybe even get to feel better than ever before (the sex I had with these two girls was the best I ever had). Give yourself some time. Be nice and understanding towards yourself. Look for a girl who is understanding too.
You can do that.
LINK – You’re not broken, just blocked!
by LeonKennedy
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