Age 20 - HOCD & extreme social anxiety: Now, I love life.

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mountain with cloudsSo, I made it. And I feel great, but like so many others say, the 90 days just feel like the beginning of my true journey, I feel like I'm climbing a massive mountain; the biggest mountain ever, bigger than any earthly mountain, and I've just now passed the clouds. When I was under the clouds I was just climbing up and trying to reach the clouds, but now that I have passed them I see how big and beautiful the mountain really is, and I'm going to climb it to the freaking top!

A little about me: I'm 20, been doing PMO since 11

Before NoFap: Before starting NoFap, I was extremely socially anxious, basically afraid to go to any social setting, going to work was hard for me because it was another day of me trying to bullshit like I was happy. I never completely realized it, but I used PMO and excessive gaming (WoW) to escape so many things in my life. I had HOCD, and I never could make any decisions. I was too scared to do anything and I hardly believed anything I really told myself. I was also a huge procrastinator.

90 Days Later: Now, I love life. I feel like I have a purpose, like I fit into this world for a reason. I've gotten back in touch with my religion and honestly praying has gotten me through a few tough times. I have a beautiful sweet caring girlfriend. My HOCD has practically vanished, I realized that my HOCD came from a lack of connection with my father, and recently I've been hanging out with my dad more often and my sense of peace and identity is coming right back to me. Life went from a shitty struggle to attempt to be somewhat happy, to a beautiful journey where I meet awesome people along the way and everything is interconnected. I'll make some bullet points for my positives and negatives, or else I could literally write a 10 page essay.

Positives

  • Much more energy, rarely feel tired
  • Stronger emotions
  • More attention from girls, although it's subtle you can still pick up on it
  • People are more respectful towards me
  • You can start to see women for what they are. You build real connections and you realize that there are a bunch of potential life giving mates, not just something to fuck. It's hard to explain.
  • Went from connecting to no one, to connecting with mostly everyone
  • Much happier, content, and peaceful
  • More connected with God
  • More clear thinking, easier to think about my goals and achieve them
  • More motivated
  • More aware of instant gratification and it's ramifications. I've cut down to practically no video games and I don't smoke or drink anymore.
  • Feel like a positive influence on others, like I'm not only making my life better by doing this, but I'm uplifting others as well
  • Don't waste all my energy thinking about sex

Negatives

  • Life does get harder at times. You get hit with some pretty hard stuff and you get stuck with more responsibilities. But after you get through it without resorting to PMO or anything, you feel that much more of a man and your confidence hits new levels you've never had before.
  • It's a slow process, you aren't going to wake up without any problems one day, but instead of falling asleep feeling a little bit worse, you fall asleep feeling just a little bit better. And that little bit adds up.
  • Sometimes you will feel like it is pointless. But when you stick through these times, you will realize later that it is completely NOT pointless, it's steered my life in a COMPLETELY new direction.

Summary: All and all, I am extremely glad I did this and my next goal is 180 days. Don't edge, don't look at porn, it only delays the process. You are doing this for yourself. It does get easier, the urges don't go away, but they get much easier to handle.

NoFap is the way to go, but it's not for the faint of heart, it's a struggle sometimes to rebuild your life. Self-improvement and NoFap go hand in hand. But I promise you, NoFap has been one of the biggest self improvement methods I've ever done.

I really wish I could say more, but I feel like my post is already going to be so long. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask I would be happy to try my best to answer them.

LINK - 90 Day Report

by Burnskee