Age 21 - Sex with girlfriend may have slowed reboot (ED)
[Day 18] I'm 21 and had an amazing sex life before all this bullshit. Could do it forever. Never even the smallest afterthought of not being able to get it up. I went thru a dry spell though when I didn't get with any girls cus I was depressed. This was for a year, and in that year I masturbated to porn and got a lot of satisfaction from it. Anyways, I didn't even worry about my weakening erections I figured it would be fine next time the opportunity presented itself. Not the case. My new gf and I went to do it...and I needed manual stimulation.
[Day 23] Last night woke up twice with nocturnal erections. They were still only about 80 percent full but it feels good knowing they are at least occurring. Before I went no PMO, I honestly couldn't tell u the last time I had one at night or in the morning. I'm feeling good, though the mood swings are still there every now and then.
I also spoke with my dad on the shit I'm going through. Let me give you some advice: If there is a loved one you're contemplating sharing your problem with, just SACK UP and do it. It made me feel so much better!
[Day 21] Right now I'm so hummed put. It's been almost 3 weeks and while I feel some slight arousal sometimes, I still haven't had that "OMG wow" moment of libido or erection that has made me feel amazing and confident in my recovery.
What is really bothering me is the fact I'm with a girl who I started dating a month ago, and haven't been able to give her my all cus of this porn-induced ED. I want to make her feel like I have made other girls before her feel...before this bullshit killed my sex life.
[Day 24] Anyone know if frequency in the need to urinate is related at all to abstinence? Mine has definitely gone WAY down. What the hell? Before I quit I urinated a lot. It was weird, and the stream was also very weak. Since abstaining there is a much less frequent urge to go, its much better now I don't feel like I have to pee every freakin hour! The urination process also has much less sensation and semen leaking than before abstaining.
[Day 26] Just today, which is about 26 of no PMO, I had my first strong spontaneous erection. And tonight I was woken up by my first wet dream in years (that was pre-porn). I think that this may be a good sign, like my body telling me I am back to normal.
[Day 28] Today is the four-week mark of no PM and two O's. Yesterday had sex with my girlfriend for the second time during this process. The improvements were marked, no manual stimulation was needed and I had my old staying power back too. Good hour of intimacy. Felt pretty turned on and was decently firm down below, but could be better. The sex did trigger a slight chaser effect: just thoughts no strong urges. Wouldn't it be best if I get back to %100 as soon as possible?
[Day 31] I'm kind of split on what to do about sex during the recovery progress. I'm not sure if it is OK every 2 weeks or so because I've felt a little down after doing it 3 days ago. The morning wood has been absent again, though it may just be a valley in the non linear process.
[Day 33] Last night I had my girlfriend over and we ended up in bed. I pleasured her but left myself alone, no sex. But the great thing was we just lay there for hours...till 3 a.m. talking, holding, kissing, etc. I felt off and on aroused but kept telling myself, No, I don't want to have another shell of a sexual encounter," and focused only on her. This took some willpower but I think it did a lot of good. I'm proud, and content to wait longer, so next time I decide to do it the experience will be worry free.
[Day 35] I'm 5 weeks into the process of no PMO, and I was progressing well in my mind until 10 days ago. I had sex with my girlfriend and it was almost an hour of hard lovin, albeit not with a full erection. But since then, morning wood has basically disappeared! No spontaneous erections either! This f*#@ing sucks. Can it be a valley in recovery for this long? I don't think so. It feels like I killed my progress, but logically it would make sense to think that sex with a real partner should set you back less than MO, which I see other guys have done. Feels like I should be farther along. Dying of self recrimination.
[Day 40] Still feeling dead down there. Some random semi-erections now and then, but not much to be excited about. The most notable part of recovery so far is dream recall, I seem to remember one every night. Also, strangely enough, I'm starting to remember what it's like to be naturally aroused. Though it hasn't happened physically yet, I can imagine it, and it feels good to at least be able to imagine that now.
The flashbacks have almost totally disappeared. I just want to be normal again. Never realized how much porn affected other areas of my life till now. I have felt much better about certain things that used to trouble me, like family issues etc.
What's the absolute longest this could take?
[Day 41] Last night my girl came over. It's been 40 days no pm with 2 O's, and last night it was tempting to try sex. I did feel really aroused mentally a few times, but downstairs it was the same old weak erection, about %75 or something. I'm just glad I resisted the sex.
I did pleasure her a few times cuz hey, she shouldn't suffer because I'm the idiot who wacked it to porn every day. All in all it was a good time. We snuggled a lot and she spent the night. Woke up the next morning with the same lackluster arousal, but at least I didn't have to force the erection manually. The strength will come with time.
Urge to watch porn is gone completely and my mood is great every day now. Stay vigilant fellas, a man is measured by his will to overcome things most difficult for him.
[Day 44] My mood has stabilized a lot more and I usually feel healthy downstairs. Overall I'm more interested in real girls and real stimuli.
The problem is that I feel stimulated - but physically, nothing good happens. I get an erection but it isn't full. I thought that morning and nocturnal erections are an indicator of your physical genital health, so if I'm getting them and they aren't full, should I see a doctor? PS. Still no surge of libido, that feeling of "I want sex now." I think that since I'm young and in good shape my body is doing everything it can to try and work, but the brain just isn't ready yet.
[Day 44] I think the residual effects take longer to pass for someone who is sensitive to the subject matter. I'm 48 days in and making no progress really. I'm counting from the last time I watched porn. But I've O'd twice with a partner.
[Later that day] I'm doing good. Also I'm with my girlfriend now and I've gotten two erections that didn't last long just from making out. They were both not full power tho... Miss that feeling of virility so much right now.
[Day 53] Just can't take it anymore. So damn stressed out: the hunt for a job and this whole process are so frustrating. It's like I feel helpless with both of them.
Last night my girlfriend came over and we ended up in the bed, kissing touching but only a half erection came up at first. After a little while I noticed I was hard, almost fully, so went in for sex. I took it very, very slowly, and focused only on the experience and sensations. I did orgasm after a little which is why I feel bad. But when she's there I yearn for the sexual connection, the bonding. This was 25 days since my last orgasm, but we used the slow karezza-type sex this time, so I'm interested to see how I will feel over the next few days.
[Day 56] The moods have stabilized and I'm overall just a happier person on a day-to-day basis now. Never realized how P weakened me emotionally. I deal with rejection and other things in life so much better now, and don't get so down and depressed over the little stuff.
I have had sex 3 times all at least 2 weeks apart during the reboot, which I'm sure slowed me down a bit. But it is confusing. Do orgasms slow you down a lot? Are O's with a partner less damaging than M-->O? And is a 8-week period of total abstinence absolutely necessary if you want to recover? Like will you just flatline forever, or does the cumulative time add up just the same, as long as you don't relapse on porn?
It's obvious I won't be better by the 8-week mark, which really and honestly makes me want to cry. It's so hard for me to turn her down. I like her a lot and want to make uninhibited love to her as I have to girls who honestly meant much less to me. It just stinks. I felt like giving her a little the other night was OK. Then proceeded to feel like a dumbass knowing I set myself back after 25 days!
I plan on totally abstaining till the end of August, and cutting back on weed. Hopefully that should be enough to get me healed! God damn it!
[Day 60] Woke up on day 60 of this process with no morning erection. Pretty scary to me. Had 3 orgasms during the process. I guess my reboot is proof that O's do slow recovery because I'm only 21 so you think I would be better by now. I'm healthy and eat well. Some other changes though are:
1. Improvement in overall mood and well being
2. Being less anxious in social settings and while talking to others
3. Seeing girls as people and not sex objects
4. Significantly larger number of dreams
5. Feeling turned on more while kissing and stuff
I've got a lot of positives going for me in the recovery department. Except having to resist sex when she's in bed with me half naked! Gotta be the hardest thing you could ask any guy to do LOL. But I will stay clean for the entire month.
[Day 61] Shit is really pissing me off right now. I've done so much 60 freakin days and still I'm gonna need another 30 of I want my erections back? God this sucks so bad, I'm thinking about this whole fucking month ahead of me. A whole month, no orgasms no sex with the girlfriend I care for so much. No nothing. This month is gonna be tough on my patience. I need my sexual health back! Need need need it. So frustrated. Just want some sign of improvement SOMETHING. Ugh. I'm just feeling so helpless and stupid. So mad right now. It just ain't fair.
[Day 62] Gave in last night to my girlfriend one last time. Eventually got one of those %80 erections again. Weird how those come up, but they aren't full. Anyways she gave me head and I wasn't gonna orgasm but accidently lost it. I was mad at first; it had been ten days since my last O. I don't count the wet dream the night before.
As a result of my frustration, I told her about my problem. And that it was important that I go a month straight without any sex, oral sex, or masturbation, but that I can still do Whatever to her. This was great. Just perfect. Now were both committed to it and I told her not to give me anything till after this month.
[Day 67] Woke up the last few mornings with morning wood! Not where I want it to be but still, it is about 85 to 90 percent there and it actually stuck around this morning for a little while.
Also, I had that feeling of horniness finally! Missed it so bad. Still some work to do but feeling good right now. Got my sights set on the end of the month.
[Day 71] All this time without porn is great. I feel like my old self again. It's crazy how I thought smoking too much marijuana put me in this fog, but after cutting out pornography not only have I become more extroverted, but I can also smoke even with people I don't know and feel comfortable—with no foggyness to speak of.
All around, I feel stronger, healthier, and quicker at thinking on my feet too. After 10 orgasm-free days me and my girl had sex in Monday... She says she forgot about our agreement to go a month LOL.
Good news is, I got a pretty good erection, like %90. I was kind of surprised and she was too. It wouldn't even fit! This is a huge step from when I started this process. 2 weeks in when I tried sex, I had to manually stimulate to achieve and half-hard dick, then orgasmed after like 10 seconds.
This time it was very slow and passionate. This sex, plus morning woods over the past few days, show that erectile health is finally returning. We did agree to start over and go a month straight, no sex or orgasms for me. I know I would be even better after that, but at this point I don't know if its necessary. I'm obviously progressing but I do want to get back to %100.
[Day 71] I would like to start off by saying that when I began the reboot, I was one the most skeptical people taking part in the process. I'm sure everyone out there also has doubts; it can't be helped. Don't feel bad.
Now the proof that this process works. Last night was day 76 with no porn or masturbation at all. None—and with orgasming sparingly. Last night I had successful sex 3 times. Amazing sex, hours of it. And then again this morning 3 more times.
This is such a far cry from where I was 2 months ago. I can remember trying sex 2 weeks into the reboot and manually forcing the erection, then finishing after like 19 seconds LOL. I remember thinking to myself that this was never gonna end.
Well, I was wrong. Stick with it guys. Please. It will pay off. I promise you. And from my experience if you can't resist masturbation or orgasm, if you have to have it, do it without porn. If you can resist the porn no matter what, you will move forward in your recovery, whatever the pace. Good luck to all.
Sex works, and my refractory period is getting shorter too. But I still feel like I don't get turned on much, or by simple things, like I used to. And though they do show up when I need them, my erections don't show up spontaneously and aren't as full as I remember. Have I done some degree of permanent damage to myself?
Tested today with masturbation and just a sexy picture no nudity. The erection strength still sucked. It just wasn't full and worry-free. I was only somewhat turned on. I am noticing very gradual improvements from when I began regular sexual activity. I'm currently averaging 5 orgasms per week with my girlfriend.
I have some great news. Since my last report my condition has improved dramatically. I began attaining erections more and more easily. There were times I had to focus NOT to get one haha. Also, yesterday I orgasmed and immediately returned to having sex, with no significant drop in erection strength. I would say that's an unmistakable sign of full potency or damn close to it. In short, I'm back to my old self. Thank you for everything. It's great to feel that virility again after being in the dark for so long.
In the last two weeks I have noticed that I am more attracted to subtle things on women. Smiles, eyes, and nice butts and boobs (which used to only turn me on when they were porno-sized). All in all still feeling better every day. The depersonalization has continued to dwindle. I'm feeling more like my old self than ever.
I'm watching it right now on USA TV network, its an episode of Law & Order. This boy has been looking at porn since he was 10 years old. He watched progressively more violent porn and eventually lost control of his sexual urges. He then committed rape because he thought that's how sex should be... Crazy huh? The episode features the old Sabrina the teenage witch actress if you wanna look it up.
BTW after that one slip up with the porn... I had sex the next day and everything was fine, sex since then has all been good. What are your thoughts?
Finally, I continue to feel amazing. Confidence is great especially when talking to women, no more "what will she think if I say this??" Anxious thoughts while interacting, its awesome. I feel amazing and glad to know all that personality stuff wasn't from smoking... I was feeling like a real druggy -__- I do feel like I don't NEED to smoke as much, which is probably a result of removing the other "drug" in my life.
One year later - Ocassional porn & problems:
It's been about a year since I first gave up porn. For some stupid reason I started looking at it again for a month or two, on a weekly basis around Feb-March. That was stupid, at first everything was fine then I lost an erection while with my girlfriend. I then stopped and have been clean since, however I looked at sexy videos (no nudity) and feel like those has hindered my ability to easily get turned on. Is that possible and should I go back to no masturbation at all to really make a 100% recovery?
Couple months later:
I emailed you recently about a relapse and how it affected my erections. It did damage their quality. After going cold turkey on masturbation for a month or two the quality of them and my stamina with my girlfriend improved a lot. My question to you is why don't I get strong erections when I'm not with her. I've tried to masturbate to sensation only but find if I take my hand off I lose it... Just a matter of time?
P.S. Quitting ALL screen based stimuli (no videos of hot girls dancing) seemed to improve the issue overall.