Age 23 - ED cured, more energy & confidence, cold showers did it
Firstly, I'm sad to say that my reason for posting this is completely egoistic: I really, really want to be that guy writing his 100 days report.
The ones that used to be my idols are now starting to become my equals, which is in itself thrilling.
Second, I would be a total douchebag if I didn't contribute anything back to you guys, the community that finally made it possible for me to accomplish this. So, I hope you enjoy:
Let me be clear: This was in no ways my first attempt. I'd say I've been on this journey for two years. As with a lot of you guys, it started with PIED. I'd been fapping since I was 12, and getting it up and making it stay there has almost always been a problem. I stumbled upon this on the Internet and decided to give it a shot.
And boy was it hard! In the beginning, I couldn't last for more than days. Fapping was part of my daily routine, so a week seemed like an eternity to me. And I've relapsed, I've been in and out of this, I've made new commitments, and I've broken those commitments.
Then, at the end of last year, something happened. My life had gotten a lot more complex, since I now had a full-time job with literary loads of responsibility. At the same time I could observe how my fapping had gone from a sexual activity to a leisure thing to something I used to remove stress. And that is when I decided that fapping had to go; If I needed fapping to handle my stress, there was obviously something else that was wrong in my life.
This time around
This time, it was different. First off, there was the cold showers. Boy, did I use the cold showers. I'm not really sure, but I think that I took two cold showers a day for the first three weeks, which was a whole new approach at that time. It turned out it was a huge success, as it made me calm and released me from most sexual thoughts. Hence, taking cold showers is a strong recommendation from me to anyone entering this.
Also adding to my commitment this time was the fact that it was a new year. I know, I know, some of you might think this is silly, but to me it was actually really useful. Not a new years resolution per se, but to make 2014 a fap-free year. At the beginning of the year, there was a NoFap2014 list, which was a huge boost for me but unfortunately it disappeared mysteriously.
Finally, there was of course you guys! For the first one and half months, reading stuff that you had written played such a big part in keeping me keeping on. The feeling of doing something together, achieving common goals and helping each other on the way was really a key to success. Thank you so much for that! :)
You can read this in basically any post in here, but it wouldn't be a 100 days report without talking about the positive effects. In my recognition, they are:
- More energy - I'm not as tired anymore.
- More confidence - I used to be scared to make the tough decisions. Now, all I do is take a deep breath and say what needs to be said.
- More attraction from women - Yes, it has worked for me.
- Different view on women - I'm not saying that I objectified them before, but nowadays I won't waste my sexual attention on them if I know that I'm not getting anything out of it.
- An improved sense of responsibility - I try harder to stay in touch with family and friends, and I've started doing more of the things I want to do with my life.
- A firm look - When I look, I look.
- Not as afraid of conflicts anymore - I can take a fight nowadays.
- More fit - I take care of myself a lot more now.
- No PIED - Now, penetrational sex is always an option.
- Coming twice in the same night - Chicks dig it. :P
As to the discussion about superpowers, I'd just say this: NoFap really improved me a lot. The changes are there, I can feel them everyday and I'm certain that they are linked to NoFap. If you don't want to call them superpowers (After all, I still can't lift a Chevy.), then that's fine by me, but don't tell me that there are no changes, because that's just bogus.
I really can't think of any. You could see the urges as a downside, but in my opinion, they are actually the opposite: Going through urges makes you stronger, more dedicated and more committed.
My top 10 list for getting trough this
- Make a solid commitment - If you're doing this seriously, you might as well do it properly. To try it out and see how it feels might be a good idea in the beginning, but if you're into succeeding with NoFap you need to set up a solid goal and sort out the time span, rules, tools, etc.
- Take cold showers - For me, this is really what did the trick. And no, it's not going to be enjoyable from the start, but remember this is NoFap: It's hard. Do it frequently and you'll like it after a while.
- Exercise - A total classic in NoFap. No explanation needed, really, but it is going to help you ease your mind and reduce stress.
- Don't discuss with your brain - Your brain will try to rationalize away NoFap, since it despereately wants to fap. The key here is not to go into argument with your own brain (Because hey, it sort of knows what you're going to say before you do.), but instead to simply acknowledge that you have the thought or to answer with one word: No.
- No urge is everlasting - All urges wear off, eventually. Hence, if you don't know what else to do, you can always wait and do nothing. This can be tough mentally, but for me it was a big thing when I realized that none of my urges were longer than a couple of hours. And you can do NoFap for a couple of hours, right? ;P
- Forget the dating apps - When I started NoFap, I used to do A LOT of online dating, simply because it was an easy way to get laid. However, I eventually realized that they are a huge trigger and also a giant black hole when it comes to time and energy. Skip 'em, you'll get laid anyway, eventually.
- Do consider hard mode - I don't have any problems getting laid. Lucky me, but I eventually found myself in the situation of trying to compensate not fapping with more fucking, and thus had sex 3 times a week some weeks (I'm single.). In my opinion, changing one uncontrolled behaviour for the other isn't what NoFap is about, so I did my last 30 days or so on hard mode. So worth it, and I didn't have to mind about the chaser effect which can be ever so tiresome.
- Keep a diary/journal - Sometimes your head is really about to burst. I solved this problem with writing about my thoughts in a simple notebook. I didn't do it every day, but it really helped to put words on my feelings regarding NoFap. Besides, it's always a good idea, in my opinion.
- Ask: WHY? - A major part of getting through this was to start questioning why I used to fap in the first place. Why did I start? When did it derail? How is it linked to other aspects of my life? As I answered those questions, I managed to see my fapping days in a bigger perspective, which in turn made me realize even more that they had to end.
- Feel great - This might some weird, but "bragging" about doing NoFap has really helped me. Of course, you don't tell everyone, but I've actually told some of my sex partners who all seem to think that it's cool in a weird way. I mean, who doesn't want to be the guy that's like "Porn and fapping? Nah, too cool for that."? :)
Extra material and weird discoverys
This part is really just for fun, but I wanted to share with you some other revelations, some bigger than others:
- I actually started exploring my sexuality a lot more. I used to take what I could get, but now I'm a lot more picky. I've gone into BDSM more seriously. I buy myself good condoms that actually fit.
- My flatline was amazingly crazy. I was like this machine walking the streets with a firm look forward, long steps and my thoughts going: "No, you're simply not worthy of my attention.". Weird experience. Great experience.
- Except for sex partners, I've also told a close friend. He's totally disgusted, but I just keep telling him. He'll live. :P
- I never have semen on my dirty laundry anymore. My computer and cell phone are both clean from porn. I got nothing to hide.
- I also stopped chewing my nails. Coincidence, I think not.
Finally, I just want to say thank you to all of you guys for helping me with this. It really meant a lot to me. See you at 365 days! :)
TL;DR: Made it to 100 days. Take cold showers, have the right thoughts and you'll make it. And thank you all.
I am, of course, open to any questions you may or may not have!