Age 30 - ED, 130-day report
I was able to hold for a little over 100 days, and then I, unfortunately, relapsed. If my badge says 130 something days, please ignore that. I have sent the request in to have my badge reset.
The reason I am creating this thread is that I'm hoping it can be used for informational purposes to those struggling with pmo addiction and or ED. I could write a book on my experiences over the last four months, but in light of the FRAT factor, I'm going to do my best to make this an exceptionally abridged version (I'm afraid, though, that it will still qualify as FRAT).
First and foremost, I am 30 years old and began fapping at about 12 years of age. I began fapping regularly to hardcore porn at about 22 years of age and kept that up through age 29. At or near my 29th birthday, I began experiencing ED issues with women. Some of these women were exceptionally attractive, and despite the fact that I felt intensely aroused and into the experience, my penis would be small, shriveled, and, in that moment, essentially useless.
I began NOFAP and made my goal 90 days. I ended up making it just past 100. I can say that it is not easy to make it to 90 days. It takes a full on commitment. If you are going in even 90 percent committed, you should probably save your fucking time. NO FAP 90 is not easy to accomplish-- but it can be done. I can say that the experience tended to get easier and easier over time. The first 30 days or so were very difficult. After that, there was probably 30 or 40 days where I didn't even think about sex. I am heterosexual, but during this time, I was asexual. While that may sound like a bad thing, it really made NO FAP 90 much easier to achieve than I had anticipated. And trust me, your desire for women will return to you-- and it will do so like a punch across yout face. One day you will just be like "damn I need to fuck."
I'm not going to lie. There were some nights where I was damn sleepless because I was so horny and my body was clamoring for pmo. I was so committed, though, that I refused to break. I loaned out both my computers, traded my Droid phone in for a basic phone without internet capability, threw away and loaned out all my porn, slept in my clothes, only touched my penis when cleaning it in the shower and urinating, refrained from watching tv shows and movies with sexy women as I might have been tempted to fap, when I did see something sexy I would be sure to look away; stayed extremely busy as I knew that time alone would equal fap temptation. Of exceptional importance, I programmed my mind to think in certain patterns. I would mentally push out thoughts of sex and think of something, ANYTHING, else.
After about two months, I began experiencing pretty consistent morning wood. I knew, then, that I was on the right path.
I finally fapped a little past 100 days, but was able to refrain from it for the most part over the course of the next month. During the month following the 100 days that I didn't fap, I had sex with three different women and also got a handjob, blowjob, and striptease (which I masturbated to) from a 4th woman. I can say that, for the most part, I had almost immediate erections with these women. It was unbelieveable. I literally did not have to think about my erection-- it was just there. It felt as simple and natural as the blood flowing through my veins, the beat of my heart; my liver and kidneys doing their jobs. My brain had successfully reset-- and it felt great. Even when just kissing these women, I had immediate and unbelieveably hard erections.
I want to let those of you know who are about to start this journey that NOFAP 90 is legit. It saved me. It is a free and attainable cure for a serious ailment. The number 90, in and of itself, is arbitrary-- it is a mean of sorts. Some may be healed after 30; with others, it may take 200. I think it depends on how long one has been viewing porn, how often one viewed porn during that period of time, and how hardcore/abnormal the type of porn viewed was. Whatever the case, this is the cure. Do it. It is worth it.
Regarding all the other benefits of NO FAP, I do believe some of them truly exist, but I believe others come about do to the placebo effect, of sorts. I did feel generally happier, more independent, and more confident. I do believe some of that had to with a change in chemicals in my brain and body. However, I think some of those experienced changes are due to me feeling that I was conquering my problem-- not from the conquering of the problem in and of itself.
I do need to add that I have recently fallen off the wagon, so to speak. I have come to believe that once one engages in one's addiction, there is a flare up, of sorts, that one experiences. Like someone eating a meal who hasn't eaten in a week, one will likely gorge oneself. In effect, that is what I did recently with porn. The sad reality, here, is that once addicted, I believe we are always addicted. It is a battle that we will have to fight for the rest of our lives. It is a batlle worth fighting though-- NO FAP will change your life for the better. I know this-- I experienced it. I felt a general euphoria, confidence, and capability that I hadn't felt in some time. And, of course, I must mention again that my penis started working properly yet again.
Good luck guys. Fight the good fight. Stop jerking off. Not only is it bad for you, it's a waste of your fucking time. It's like sitting around and daydreaming all day long. Stop daydreaming and go do the real thing. Get a real chick. If you're bad at that, join an online dating community and or read some books on how to get chicks ("The Game" by Neil Strauss is pretty legit).
Think of it this way: when it's all said and done and you are at the very end of your life, do you want to look back and remember all the time spent daydreaming, your hand pumping on your cock while your pants and underwear are at your ankles and you have a computer in front of you with a chick getting fucked? Or would you at least want to remember that you tried-- that you really, truly, fucking gave it your all to live life, to experience-- that you positively took advantage of the brief amount of time you were given on this planet?
Good luck guys.