Age 31 - 280 days (ED): Slow sex comes naturally now
So at Day 280 I'm off Hard Mode. I figured, since people always wonder, what the effects are of having 9 months in NoFap, how that went. Well, here goes nothing.
Background First: I'm already experienced with sex in relationships. So there was no "new" factor to the recent encounter. I have not suffered from ED or any other conditions. So I cannot comment on that.
So what did I gain from NoFap thus far? Well, last night I could actually feel the subtlety of the encounter. It was fascinating. At one point, I actually found myself consciously thinking "I don't even need to orgasm. I'm fine with just doing my thing with her." This was the first time I genuinely thought in this manner. I have done slow sex before, and even tried karezza, but those were all conscious struggles. This time, I wasn't even trying. It was just natural.
The second positive effect was that I knew that I'd be good to go for several rounds. Sure... my refractory period is a little long, so I'm not back up in 15 minutes like some. But I knew... with confidence, that I could continue. This was not the case in the past when I'd fap even just occasionally.
During round two... I once again felt like I didn't need to finish to be satisfied. In fact, I did it more for her than for me, if that makes any sense.
I'm kind of tired right now, so this is not the most poignant post, but if I had to sum it all up, I'd say NoFap, when done for long periods of time, instills control in you. When you give up the porn, the edging, and the masturbation, you don't lose anything. You gain something. It was something I honestly didn't expect. For the first time... I felt in control of my sexuality. I could enjoy it on my terms. And more importantly, I was content. There was no "end goal" that I had to achieve. It was just... natural.
I'm a NoFapper that has been going on a year now. I was hardmode for about 280 days, but I haven't fapped or used porn since. Girl only for release.
I can say this about it. There are no "super" powers. It doesn't make you a god. I still have issues to work out with how I relate to women and things of that nature, hence why I read here. That being said, I do feel more "normal" if that's helpful.
But it's all based on background. Before NoFap, I was obsessed with sitting in the dark, avoiding the world, and fapping to a virtual fantasy land. I did this all through my twenties. Because I was also BluePill, I never ventured out and got the real sexual release that I needed, except in comparably small doses. This furthered my depression and made me psychologically very unhealthy.
NoFap was ultimately part of a process, not a cure. It helped me finally pull myself out of the unhealthy fantasy. I did get a lot of energy back too... but I was very depleted, to the point that I was beginning to experience the porn-induced ED. That being said, I'm also not some magical sex god simply because I don't masturbate. I am merely more motivated to find a partner when I don't have one.
I have also found that NoFap helped with me getting more settled and focused. I'm just now starting to give meditation a much more serious look as far as a regular practice. I can say that a past me, with masturbation as a habit along with some serious porn downloads, would never find time to sit and meditate. Even with my yoga practice and martial arts.
That doesn't mean masturbation is evil. Eventually, I will have too much energy and I'll need to do something about it. Either with a girl or with my hand. Preferably a girl. But NoFap took me out of my compulsive habits. If I get an urge, I no longer lose my wits or start thinking about all the dirty smut I can download off the internet. I'm more in reality instead of in the cyber dream. I won't release unless I actually need to release. In the past, I never released when I actually needed to.
So yeah, porn is the real culprit. Some people can play with it, and they don't get lost in the illusion. I'd say the vast majority cannot. It's like any other substance. For some, alcohol is just some recreational thing to have. For others, it becomes Satan himself. For me, porn is too powerful. I'd be content being alone and a holed up nerd if you give me enough stimulating porn to fap to.
Instead, I work out far more often than I used to. So it helped me quit the compulsion. But ignore all the stupid motivating posts and things like that at the subreddit. Hardly helpful, or realistic.