I made it, so can you! Here’s my story. I had been hooked to P for more than 20 years, and my sexual life was a complete mess. I had PIED and suffered gay HOCD, I even acted out, and I was so confused. I didn’t dare date a girl for many years. I felt old (I’m 37), and that it was too late for me to change.
Right now, I can assure you those issues are over. I still get urges (but very weak, and only from time to time, and I can control them without problems; they are getting weaker and weaker, I bet they’ll fade away soon), my erections are the best ones of my life, and I overcomed gay HOCD (I’m straight).
This week I’m meeting a girl just for coffee. Let’s see if it works. The important thing is I’m back in the game, and feeling more powerful than ever. I got the control of my life back.
I didn’t know Porn could be so harmful. A year ago I realized I had a problem with it. It controlled me, specially sex chatting. I tried to quit on my own, with half-heartedly efforts. I noticed the withdrawals, and I knew my problem was huge. I was like an alcoholic.
I read 3 books that were very helpful: “Breaking the Cycle”, by George N. Collins, “The Porn Trap”, by Wendy Maltz and Larry Maltz, and “Your Brain on Porn”, by Gary Wilson. I recommend all of them. There is little overlapping, and you’ll learn a big deal. You are sick, now you just need to get cured.
This article helped a lot: http://healthysex.com/self-help-articles/the-maltz-hierarchy-of-sexual-interaction/. It’s by Wendi Maltz, and it tells you what you need to look for in sex. Sex has to be something spiritual, that makes you whole, not a compulsion.
Last september I joined in here. I couldn’t do it on my own, but I thought that posting here would make me take the challenge more seriously. I kept trying things, until I finally found what worked for me. But the most important thing was I was determined to beat this shit, no matter what.
I got and P-blocker (Qustodio), I got an AP, I paid a monthly fee to be here (it forced me to take it seriously, because the longer I stayed here, the more I paid). If those things fail, I would try NoFap Academy (https://www.nofapacademy.com/), and then, Compulsion Solutions (http://compulsionsolutions.com/sex-and-porn-addicts/). But I didn’t need those two.
I realized I couldn’t cope with all the challenges, so I divided them and tackled one at a time. I needed to reached day 90 of no P, and if I relapsed with sex chatting, it didn’t matter. I reached that day, and I tackled sex chatting. That was my real challenge. I haven’t watch any P for more than 5 month, and I don’t miss it. Day 90 is for sex chatting (hooked for almost 15 years).
I couldn’t beat the urges with willpower, so I used hypnosis. I’m a huge fan of hypnosis. I used https://hypnosis.wendi.com/collecti…-porn-addiction-hypnosis-mp3-by-wendi-friesen and http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/hypnosis-packs/sex-obsession. They made the urges manageable.
I found a helpful course on Spotify: The Mindful Habit System.
To beat the intrusive thoughts, when I masturbated (once a week or so), lying in bed, I thought of the girl I’m meeting this week, making love to her. If anything similar to P cropped up in my mind, I’d let the thought go, and begin again.
This challenge is very hard. At the beginning was HELL. As much as I like NoFap, don’t take it as a place to hang out, but a place that forces you to make it.
For your success, guys! Keep trying and trying, never giving up, and you’ll be telling your success story soon.
LINK – I made it! Day 90 reached!
by Mlaj
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