June 4th, 2009
ʻO kēia kaʻu komo blog mua. Ua hoʻoholo hou wau e lanakila i kaʻu hana kolohe i nā ponokala kiʻi a makemake wau e kaʻana like i koʻu ʻike a lana ka manaʻo e loaʻa ke kākoʻo o kēia kaiāulu pūnaewele. I kēia manawa aia wau i ka lā ʻeiwa o kaʻu “sobriety”. He pule paʻakikī ia, akā i kēia lā he mea paʻakikī loa ia.
ʻO kahi mōʻaukala liʻiliʻi: hana pinepine wau i ka masturbating mai koʻu wā ʻōpio, i kekahi manawa me ka porn. ʻO 34 wau i kēia manawa a hoʻokahi wau i ka hapa nui o koʻu ola. ʻAʻole kōkua ka pūnaewele i nā mea a ʻaneʻane kokoke wau i ka porn e kiʻi i kaʻu "kiʻekiʻe". Ua hele a mānoanoa maoli i loko o nā mahina i hala iho nei, no ka mea ua loli hou wau i nā hana a ke hana nei wau ma ka home ma ka pūnaewele. Eia naʻe, manaʻo wau ua loaʻa iaʻu i kaʻu koi ʻana i kēia manawa i kahi e makemake ai wau e haʻalele.
Ua loaʻa iaʻu kekahi mau hōʻailona haʻalele kino - ʻeha a me nā jitters. Akā ʻaʻohe mea e hoʻohālikelike i kēia manawa i nā pilikia psychological aʻu e manaʻo nei. Me he mea lā ke luliluli nei kaʻu manaʻo paʻa. Ke nānā nui nei wau e pili ana i kēia kaikamahine 18 aʻu i ʻike. Keʻike nei wau i kahi mea iki e like me kahi ʻuhane naʻau. Ke huhū nei au, ʻawaʻawa, makaʻu, kahi ʻano holoʻokoʻa o ka manaʻo. I ka manawa mua uaʻike wau i ka nawaliwali o ka naʻau, neʻe maʻalahi i nā waimaka. Ua maikaʻi wau me kēlā. I kēia manawa ke huhū nui nei wau a makemake wau e ʻuwā, e like me ka huhū nui i ka honua holoʻokoʻa. Ke lili nei hoʻi wau - hiki i kekahi poʻe ke hoʻokau i ko lākou mau makemake, akā ʻo kaʻu mea i hoʻonohonoho ʻia me ka moemoeā a i kēia manawa ua hala.
I kēia manawa, ʻo ka heluhelu ʻana i nā ʻatikala like ʻole ma kēia pūnaewele, ka pule, a me ka noʻonoʻo ʻana he mea maikaʻi loa ia. Ua hoʻāʻo nō wau i kekahi hiʻohiʻona - kōkua ia, akā ʻike wau ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ke kūlike ʻole. Manaʻo wau i koʻu hoʻoikaika e loaʻa i ka moekolohe olakino a lanakila i kaʻu ʻōpala ʻoi aku ka ikaika ma mua o ka wā ma mua a ua ʻae ʻia e lawe i nā mea i kekahi lā i kēlā me kēia manawa. Kēia manawa, ʻaʻole like me nā manawa ma mua, manaʻo maoli wau hiki iaʻu ke hana i kahi loli mau loa.
ʻO kaʻu pahuhopu ka noho "sober" no ʻekolu mau mahina. Ma hope o 90 mau lā, a laila e noʻonoʻo wau e pili ana i kahi makemake wau e hōʻike i kaʻu moekolohe - lana ka manaʻo i kahi pilina aloha olakino. Lana koʻu manaʻo e hiki i nā poʻe ma kēia pūnaewele ke kōkua mai iaʻu a alakaʻi iaʻu. ʻIke wau i nā mea hou aʻe pehea wau e pono ai i ke kākoʻo o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe inā e kūleʻa wau. ʻAʻole wau i palekana i kēia manawa e hōʻike i kaʻu hōʻāhewa i nā hoaaloha a ʻohana paha, akā ke noʻonoʻo nei wau i kahi hui kākoʻo inoa ʻole. E ʻike kāua.
Mahalo i ka heluhelu ʻana a ua mahalo ʻia kekahi kākoʻo a me nā manaʻo hoʻi.
July 30, 2012
No laila, hele hou wau, hele hou a hiki i PMO no nā makahiki ʻekolu i hala, me ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a kēia pūnaewele. Ua hiki iaʻu ke hele ma mua o 180 mau lā me ka ʻole o ka porn, ua pili maoli wau no ka manawa mua (37 wau), a ua loaʻa hapa wau mai ED. Minamina, i loko o koʻu pili, ua hoʻomaka wau e nānā malū i ka porn. ʻAʻole wau i loko o kēlā pilina, akā aia wau i kēia manawa he 2 mau pule PMO-ʻole. ʻIke wau ua hele nui wau i loko. Eia kekahi mau mea aʻu i manaʻo ai ua loaʻa iaʻu i kēia manawa.
* ʻIke wau ua ulu wau i nā lele a me nā palena i nā makahiki ʻekolu i hala. Maliʻa paha he PMO-ʻole a i ʻole nā hana ʻuhane, a i ʻole he simbiotic paha kēia mau mea. Nānā ʻole, ʻoi aku ka hoʻomanawanui, ka ʻae ʻana, a me ke aloha ʻole. Nui kaʻu mau mea e aʻo ai, akā ʻaʻole wau e noʻonoʻo i ka noʻonoʻo ponoʻī iaʻu iho. ʻIke wau e like me ke kanaka ʻokoʻa.
* Loaʻa mau nā loaʻa i ka ʻole PMO, me ka nānā ʻole i ka lōʻihi o ka manawa e hoʻokele ai kekahi. Inā hoʻi hou ke kanaka, pono i kekahi e hoʻi i ke kaʻa kaʻa ke manaʻo ʻo ia he ikaika, hoʻopaʻi ʻia, a ʻoluʻolu paha me ia. ʻElua wale nō pule wau manuahi i kēia manawa, akā manaʻo wau ua loaʻa ka nui i nā makahiki ʻekolu i hala. I kekahi mau ʻano, inā i PMO a i ʻole hāʻawi i kahi kanaka i ka hiki ke koho i ka mea hiki iā ia ke mālama i ka naʻau i kēlā me kēia manawa. A ʻo nā manaʻo o ka lawehala inā hāʻule kekahi i ka bandwagon he mea pono ʻole ia, a me ka counterproductive.
* Pili ka pilina a me ka wahine a me ka wahine. ʻO ka Porn e pili ana i ke kiʻi a me ke kuko; he mea hoʻopilikia. Pili ka moekolohe i ka hoʻopā a me ke aloha; ʻoiai leʻaleʻa, ʻaʻole ia he mea hoʻomake.
He nānā nui kēlā. Ua kākau nui ʻia kaʻu huakaʻi i kaʻu blog. Ke kakali nei wau i ka ulu hou ʻana i nā mahina e hiki mai ana.
April 9, 2013
No laila ua hala wau i nā lā 96 me ka ʻole o ka porn a me nā lā 5 me ka ʻole o ka masturbation a me ka orgasm. Haʻaheo wau iaʻu iho no ka ʻalo ʻana i ka porn ʻoiai ke hele nei i kahi wā masturbation, akā pono wau e ʻae he hoʻowalewale ia. ʻAʻole pilikia nā kūkulu. Ke kiʻi nei wau iā lākou i nā manawa āpau. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, makemake au e loaʻa i kekahi e kaʻana like ai. 🙂 laki, ʻaʻole wau i loaʻa iā lākou i nā wahi hilahila. No kekahi i loaʻa iā ED, hiki iaʻu ke ʻōlelo he hana hou kēia. ʻO ka pale ʻana i ka porn inā ʻoe e masturbate kahi manaʻo maikaʻi pū kekahi. ʻOi aku ka wikiwiki o ka hoʻouka hou ʻana.
Emotional, ke hana nei wau i nā mea. Ke heluhelu nei au i kahi puke maikaʻi loa e ka hauʻoli e Martin Seligman. ʻAe wau e ʻae nō, ke ʻike wau i ka nui o ka horny (e like me kēia manawa), paʻakikī e hauʻoli. Akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke ola āpau me ka ʻole o PMO. ʻOiai ke masturbating wau i ka orgasm ma kahi manawa maʻamau, ʻike wau i ka groggy a me ke kaumaha. I kēia manawa ua huhū a huhū wale nō wau, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o ke kaumaha. A ʻaʻole wau hopohopo i nā manawa āpau, he mau manawa kikoʻī wale nō ke ʻike wau i ka pono no ka hoʻokuʻu.
Eia naʻe, e ʻimi nei i nā kaulike a i ʻole ka pau ʻana o kaʻu mele kani a i ʻole nā mea ʻelua. Akā ke hoʻoholo nei i ka porn mai kou ola he mea maikaʻi e like me ke aha.
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