[Ngā wāhanga mai i te 5 tau o te haerenga whakaora]
He wahine ataahua, he wahine mana, he wahine iti nei te mana. Kua roa ahau e aroha ana ki ēnei momo wahine. I tōku tamarikitanga, he aroha ki ngā kōtiro pakeke ake o te kura tuatahi. Nō muri mai ka hiahia ahau ki a Kuini Cleopatra, ki te kōtiro ataahua whai rawa rānei i roto i tētahi whakaaturanga pouaka whakaata. Ahakoa i nāianei tonu, ina mātaki ahau i a Game of Thrones, ka miharo ahau ki te āhua o Daenerys. Tērā pea i whānau mai ahau me tēnei hiahia, nā te mea pea i whakatipuria ahau e tōku māmā i te nuinga o tōku oranga, ā, e whakaaro ana ahau ko ia te 'upoko o te whare'. Tērā pea he iti noa iho o ngā mea e rua, kāore au i te tino mōhio. Ko tāku e mōhio ana, ehara tēnei hiahia i te mea nā te kare ā-roto, nā te mea i roa ahau e aroha ana ki ēnei momo wahine i mua i taku whakaurunga ki te kare ā-roto. E mahara ana ahau ki te moemoeā mō ēnei wāhine, te karakia ki a rātou, ehara i te mea he ngākau māhaki, engari he aroha.
I te kura tuarua ka tīmata ahau ki te mirimiri i ngā akoranga mirimiri i runga i a YouTube, koinei te tīmatanga. Kāore i roa ka kitea e au he 'kōrero mō te wahine moepuku ngāwari' i runga i a YouTube, ā, i muri i tētahi wā ka kitea e au kua kī tonu te ipurangi i tēnei. I te 15 o ōku tau, ka moepuku ahau ki ngā kōrero whakaiti i te wahine moepuku i ia rā. Ko te nuinga o ngā kōrero i mātakihia e au he mea whakahihi ki te waewae, engari kei roto hoki ngā mea pēnei i te whakaiti, te CBT, te wahine kairau, te wahine takatāpui, te puremu, me te pononga. Ko ēnei 'pirinihi', 'atua wahine' rānei e kōrero kino ana mō te kaiwhakaari tāne e whai wāhi ana. ''Kāore koe i te pai'' ''Kāore koe e tika kia whiwhi i tētahi wahine pēnei i ahau'' ''Ko te mea anake e whakaaetia ana kia mahia e koe ko te kihi i taku ****' ''E kore rawa koe e whiwhi i tētahi kōtiro, ka noho tonu koe hei pononga''. Ā, i whakaaro tonu ahau ko te kaiwhakaari tāne ko au.
Hei hoatu i tētahi tirohanga pai ki a koutou. I te 16 o ōku tau, he tangata māia ahau. He kaitākaro kura ahau, he kikokore, he rongonui, he maha ōku hoa, i whakanuia ahau e ngā kōtiro, i whawhai mōku, ā, he nui tōku māia ki a au anō nā tēnā. Engari i whakapono ahau he pānga nui ki tōku hinengaro te mātakitaki i ēnei momo ataata i ia rā. Nā te mea i te 21 o ōku tau, ko ngā mea e kōrerotia ana i roto i ēnei ataata ko te āhua o ahau anō. Kāore au e kī koinei anake te take i heke ai tōku māia ki a au anō. I roto i tētahi o ngā kaupapa i runga ake nei, ka tuhituhi ahau mō taku hoa wahine o mua he pānga pea ki tōku māia.
Kua tae ki te wā ki te whakahoki mai i taua whakapono, nā te mea kei te tino iti tonu taku whakaaro ki a au anō. Kāore au i te 'pai' ki ngā kōtiro ātaahua i runga i te Tinder, nā te mea e whakaaro ana ahau kāore au e tika ana mō rātou, kāore au e tika ana mō rātou. Ka ngana ahau ki te whakahoki mai i te whakapono mā te mahi pai. Kei te tino pai taku ahunga whakamua i roto i: te oma, te hiki, te kopere, te pānui pukapuka, me te hokohoko. Engari kāore au i te whakaaro he āwhina tēnei ki taku whakapono ki a au anō. Nō nā tata nei ahau i whiwhi i tētahi koha mai i tētahi tauhou o tēnei wānanga. I homai e ia ki ahau te 'Kaupapa Authoring Self' mai i a Jordan Peterson. Me kī atu ahau he āwhina nui tēnā ki ahau ki te rapu i ngā raruraru o tōku ao o ia rā, me te whakaaroaro ki aua raruraru. Engari, e whakaaro ana ahau me mahi atu ahau. Me whakamātau pea ahau i te hypnosis? Me whakaū rānei? Me ako rānei ahau i ēnei kaitoi e kiia nei he pickup artists? Mena he whakaaro ā koutou, tukuna mai he karere tūmataiti ki ahau. Ngā mihi mō te pānui.
He tangata rangatira, he tangata ngākau māhaki rānei?
Hei whakarāpopototanga, i whakatipuria ahau kia whakaute i ngā wāhine. Kāore au e whakaaro he aha te āhua o te whakamahi i te tutu ki tētahi wāhine. Ā, i roto i aku hononga tuatahi ki ngā kōtiro, he tino atawhai, he ngāwari, he aroha tonu ahau. Ko ahau te tangata i ohorere i tana hoa wahine ki ngā koha, i tiki i a ia i te Rā o Valentine kia noho tahi ai rāua mō te rā katoa, i hiahia ki te whakatuwhera i te tatau mōna, ā, i waea atu ki a ia i te pō i te wā kāore e taea e ia te moe. Ko taua wāhanga o ahau te mea i pai ki ngā kōtiro, e tino mōhio ana ahau ki tēnā. Ahakoa ahau e pai ana ki taua wāhanga mōku. Engari ināianei, ko taku e hiahia ana ko te noho hei 'pononga' mā tētahi, hei 'kaitautoko' rānei māna.
Nā ngā tau maha o te mātakitaki i ngā mahi puremu wahine-wahine me te puremu ki reira, i whakangaro i taku whakapono ki ngā kōtiro, tae atu ki taku titiro ki a rātou. Kua whakanuia rātou e au, ā, ko te huarahi anake e taea ai e au te tae atu ki reira ko te ngohengohe ki a ia. He pono, ko te ritenga kē.
Ki taku whakaaro i tētahi wā o te ao, i hē taku whakaaro he rangatira ahau, ā, he ngākau māhaki. Tērā pea ko te porn femdom te take, ko taku hoa wahine o mua te take, ko te āhua o taku whakatipuranga te take. Engari kotahi anake te tangata e tino hara ana i tēnei: ko au. E hiahia ana ahau kia noho rangatira anō, ā, e mōhio ana ahau ka taea e au, nā te mea kua noho rangatira ahau i mua. Engari kei hea ahau ka tīmata? Ko taku haerenga NoFap me taku whakapono e tino āwhina ana ki te aukati i te whanoke i roto i tōku ao, engari kāore te whanoke e tere te memeha.
Na inaianei ...
Kua tata te tau mai i taku haerenga whakamutunga ki tēnei wāhi. Ā, he take pai āku mō tēnā; i pai ahau. Nui atu i te pai, ki te pono. I a au e whawhai ana ki te māramatanga, ka kitea ia e au. Ka tīmata māua te kōrero, ka pai ahau ki a ia, ā, ka pai mai hoki ia ki ahau. Nō reira ka tīmata māua te whakaipoipo, ā, i muri i ētahi marama, ka tono ahau ki a ia hei hoa wahine māku, ā, ka whakaae ia.
He raruraru te moe tāne i te tīmatanga, engari nā te āta haere, i hoki mai anō taku whakapono ki te moe tāne. Kāore i hiahiatia he whakaohooho kino. I te tau kua pahure ake nei, i kī atu ahau i tēnei:
Ināianei, ka taea e au te kī māia kua whakahokia mai e au. Haunga tēnā, kei te pai te haere o te ao. Kua kitea e au he whare mōku ake, kei te tere haere taku mahi, ā, kua kitea e au te rangimārie i roto i tōku mahunga. Nō reira, he aha koe i hoki mai ai? Tērā pea ka pātai koe ki a koe anō.
Kua roa ahau e kore ana e kai kānga, engari ko te raruraru ko te hangarau matihiko. I te tīmatanga, i tīmata mā te tuhi wawata, engari i reira tonu te aukati. Ināianei ka taea e te hangarau matihiko te tuhi i tāu e hiahia ana, ā, ko te mea kino rawa atu, i roto hoki i ngā whakaahua me ngā ataata.
Tērā pea ka pātai koe ki a koe anō, he aha te hē o tēnā hei whakakapi mō te kānga i ētahi wā? Āe, kei te raru haere. He rā ka mahi tonu ahau i tēnei i muri i taku hokinga mai i te mahi, ā, he rā anō ka tīmata ahau ki te mahi i taku oho ake. Ka whakaaro ahau ki tēnei i ahau e mahi ana, ka tirohia te whārangi e tuku ana ahau i tēnei paru ina haere ahau ki te wharepaku. Me mutu tēnei.
I tangohia e au ngā mahi e tika ana kia kore ai e hoki whakamuri; i mukua katoatia e au taku pūkete Google kia tīmata hou ai. Ko te mea nui, ka taea e au te whakatutuki i aku hiahia moepuku me taku hoa wahine, nō reira he aha rawa ahau ka mahi ai? Te hiahia nui? Te hiahia nui? He hoa tawhito rānei te rewera, e kukume ana i ahau ki roto i tētahi mahanga hou? Kāore au e māharahara. Me mutu.
Mōna.
huritao
I hanga anō e au ahau i te korenga hei tangata ko au tēnei. E waru tau. E waru tau o te hinganga, me te ara ake anō.
Ka katia ōku kanohi, ka taea tonu e au te rongo i ngā mea katoa.
Te ohorere o te ua matao i te 5 i te ata
Ngā whakaaro i ārahi i ahau i roto i ngā oma nanakia.
Ngā wā ako i muri i ngā rā mahi tinana hoha.
I angitu tonu ahau? Kāore.
He pai te utu? Āe.
Nā te mea i te mutunga, i ora ahau, ehara i te mea kāore ahau i hinga, engari nā te mea kāore ahau i noho ki raro. Ahakoa i tino hinga ahau, ā, tata kore rawa e taea te tū, i kitea e au te kaha ki te anga whakamua anō.
Koinā te huarahi i ora ai ahau.
Ehara i te mea he mate pāwera hinengaro noa iho te noho pūmau; kua honoa ki roto i taku pūnaha io. Nā te whawhai i ora ai ahau.
Engari ehara te whawhai i te ūnga.
Koia ahau i whakararuraru ai i te marino.
He aha i ētahi wā ka rite te pumau ki te takoto kau.
He aha te take e taea ai e te rangimārie te whakararuraru i ahau.
I konei ahau hei tangata e kaha ki te kawe i te kaha me te kore he pōrearea, arā, me te kore he pakanga, me te hiahia me te kore he mawhiti.
Nō reira, koinei te wāhi e noho nei ahau.