Ka pāngia te tangata e te kitenga wawe i ngā mahi taihara i tētahi wā rerekē. I roto i tētahi uiuinga i tēnei wiki i roto i Torangapu Home, i mahara a Samantha Niblett, te mema pāremata o te Rōpū Reipa, ki te wā tuatahi i pakipaki ai ōna kanohi ki ēnei mea. "Tekau tau ōku tau... Ā, i ētahi wā ka whakaaro ahau, nā te mea i kite ahau i tēnei mea i te tamarikitanga... mēnā kua hanga e tēnā te tangata ko au tēnei i tēnei rā." I te pānui i tana kaupapa hou mō te mātauranga moepuku mō te motu - te whakatairanga i te puremu hei whakapai ake i te hauora, te kawe mai i ngā taonga takaro moepuku ki te pāremata, te whakatenatena i ngā hoa pāremata ki te kōrero tuwhera mō ngā orgasm - ka whakaae ahau, ka tīmata ahau ki te whakaaro mō tēnā anō hoki.
Ko te whakaaro nui a Niblett he whakapuaki i tana e kī nei he "raumati o te taatai", me te whakaako i te marea whānui ki te toi o te whai wheako taatai e whakamana ana, e whakaute ana tetahi i tetahi. Mehemea pea e hiahia ana te taha Matau ki te āwhina nui atu i te taha Mauī, te āhua nei kei te huri ia i tana kaupapa ki ngā pōti Reform and Restoration: "ko te mea nui ko te whakahaere i tō tātou aroha whenua, ko te whakahaere i tō tātou Piritana, me te kore e whakama". Nō reira, kua tapaina e ia te kaupapa ko "Yes Sex Please, we are British", he mea whakakatakata te ahua he mea hanga noa e te tangata whenua ke. Heoi, he whakakatakata i runga i te whakaari taatai o ngā tau 1970 me Ronnie Corbett - he iti noa iho pea te wāhi, ahakoa mō ngā pā o Rupert Lowe.
Kāore pea ngā taipitopito o te kaupapa a Niblett e whakaoho i te tere o te manawa o te motu. E ai ki tā Aristotle i roto i tētahi atu horopaki, kotahi te horomitanga kāore e hanga i te raumati. Kei te whakamahere ia ki te mahi tahi me tētahi atu tangata e aro nui ana ki te moepuku - ko Cindy Gallop te ingoa - hei whakakapi i ngā momo whakaaro pono i roto i ngā mahunga o te tangata ki ngā whakaahua o "ngā tāngata tūturu" e moepuku ana. Arā, kaua e whakaarohia ngā mahi a Pornhub, whakaarohia a Matt Hancock e moepuku ana i roto i tētahi tari. Ko Gallop te kaiwhakaū o MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP), he paetukutuku e taea ai e koe te "mātakitaki i ngā ataata moepuku o te ao tūturu me tōna āhua aroha, wera, me te pōrearea". E pai ana a Niblett ki te toro atu ki te pae - "He mea whakahihiri, he āwhina i a koe ki te moepuku, he āwhina i a koe ki te whakapūpū i te uri", e whakamārama ana ia ki te kairīpoata, he mea koretake - ā, e kī ana kei te rapu ia ki te whakahaere i te hononga i waenga i tōna kaiwhakaū me ngā minita kāwanatanga.
I taua wā, he kaipakihi 66-tau te pakeke a Gallop, nāna i kōrero tata nei ki te waea E whakahīhī ana ia ki te mea he "moe auau, he moe whakangahau" ia me ngā tāne taitamariki. I roto i ēnei haerenga whakakatakata, i kitea e ia he wā Eureka, i roto i te tikanga tuku iho. Ka tīmata ia ki te kite he maha ngā whakaaro hē o ngā tāne taitamariki i moe tahi rāua mō te taatai, i runga i te mātakitaki i ngā kiriata pono. Ā, nā, ka whānau te whakaaro mō te MLNP.
I roto i te wairua uiui, i haina ahau mō te putanga kore utu. Kāore e taea e au te kī i tino pai ahau ki te wheako, ahakoa pea nā te mea e toru hēkona noa iho te roa o ngā kiriata i mātakihia e au - me utu koe ki te mātaki i ngā ataata katoa, engari kāore au i pena. Ko te tikanga, he rite te pae ki tētahi wāhanga hou o ngā Pānui. Ki te pai koe ki te mārama taiao tino kino, ki ngā āhua kanohi kua arotahi, ki te iti o te kaha e ngoki ana i runga i ngā taonga tawhito o Ikea, me ngā ngunguru i ētahi wā e uru ana ki ngā oro o te ara rererangi o Heathrow, koinei pea te wāhi māu.
Ka tito ngā kaiuru i ā rātou ake kōrero poto hei kukume i ngā kaimātakitaki, ā, he maha ngā mea e pā ana ki te tiaki tamariki: "He ataata poto noa iho tēnei i hangaia e mātou i a mātou e kimi wā ana i te ata i te wā e moe tonu ana ngā tamariki"; "Kei te whakamahi anō mātou i te wā e moe ana tā mātou tamaiti kia nui ai te wā e taea ai e mātou te noho tahi tetahi ki tetahi". Ko tētahi atu kaupapa ko te taiao: "Mātakitaki i te urupare a te tinana o Tausha ki ngā pā o Trevor. Whakarongo ki ana aue e tangi ana i roto i te ngahere, whakarongo ki ngā manu e whakautu ana ki ana oro taketake". I mahi ahau i runga i ngā tohutohu, ā, i whakaaro ahau kua rongo pea ahau i tētahi manu woodpecker i ohorere, ahakoa he tino uaua ki te kī.
Ae rā — e ai ki ngā kōrero a ngā hoa mema pāremata o Niblett — he tika katoa tēnei Te Kawenga, me te whakararuraru i ngā kaupapa tōrangapū o nāianei: ngā pakanga, ngā kore kai e tata mai ana, ngā ngoikoretanga āhua pūnaha ā, ko te mutunga iho ko te kohurutanga o ngā tamariki. E ai ki te kōrero a Kemi Badenoch i roto i te Whare Paremata, "ka hoatu he tikanga hou ki te takaro i te mea e mura ana a Rōma". Nā te whakahē, kua hurihia e Niblett tana rautaki PR, whakaaro inanahi ko te kaupapa nei hei painga mō ngā "kaumātua" e "hiahia ana ki te moe tāne". E whakaaro ana pea a Badenoch's Spads ki ngā kupu rua mō te raka toru i a au e tuhituhi ana.
Engari ko te mea whakarihariha anō hoki ko te kitenga a Niblett rāua ko Gallop i tētahi raruraru tūturu, ahakoa he tino koretake te otinga e whakaarohia ana e rāua. He mārama kei te pangia ngā whanonga moepuku e te whakamahinga o ngā pikitia pakiwaitara, me ētahi atu mate o ēnei rā, hei kino mō ngā wāhine me ngā tāne, engari kāore e taea te kī he pikitia pakiwaitara anō te otinga - nā te mea koinei tonu te mea e whakaratohia ana e MLNP, ahakoa te whakakape i roto i tōna taitara. He pono, kāore he kāmera tukutuku, he wāhine kanohi roimata rānei e ruaki ana, he painga nui tēnei; engari ko te kore noa iho o tētahi mea whakamataku kāore e kiia he mātauranga whai hua.
Ko tētahi o ngā raruraru, ko ngā whakaahua o te hunga e koa ana tetahi ki tetahi, kāore e kōrero ana i te mea uaua rawa. Nā te mea kāore i hangaia ki te kupu, he māmā noa iho ngā whakaahua pērā. Eke tere ana me te whakahīhī. kerēme ko ia ataata i runga i tana pae tukutuku "he akoranga mō te whakaae, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ngā uara moepuku pai, me te whanonga moepuku pai". Engari he rite tonu tēnā ki te kī he akoranga te whakaahua o Kew Gardens mō te whakatipu rōhi. Heoi anō, ko tā tātou e kite nei e whakaatuhia ana i runga i te mata i MLNP - te whakaute, te whanaungatanga, te aroha ki tētahi atu, te aha atu rānei - ko te hua whakamutunga o tētahi tukanga e noho tonu ana hei mea ngaro ki te tini.
I te mea ko te moe tāne me te wahine he hua nō te whanaungatanga whānui o tō whanaungatanga ki a rātou, ko te mātauranga moe tāne e tika ana tōna ingoa me whakatau tika i ngā whanaungatanga pai me ngā whanaungatanga kino - kaua i roto i te rūma moe, i runga rānei i te whāriki pikiniki. Heoi, i tua atu i ngā kōrero noa mō te whakaae me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ake, he mea tēnei e kore e pai ki a Niblett rāua ko Gallop; ā, he āwangawanga tēnei e kitea ana e te nuinga o te hunga i roto i te ao e kiia nei ko te "mātauranga moe tāne". E tohe ana a Niblett i roto i tana uiuinga kāore ia e "kī ana he hē ngā manakohanga a tētahi atu". Ā, i roto i tētahi kōrero a Ted i te tau 2009, e kī ana a Gallop: "ehara tēnei i te mea mō te whakatau... ehara tēnei i te mea mō te pai me te kino". E kī ana hoki ia he kaimātakitaki auau ia i ngā mahi puremu pakeke. Ko tana whakakitenga nui ko ia, mō ngā hiahia moe tāne katoa, tera ētahi e pai ana ki a ia, ko ētahi kāore; ā, ki te kore koe e pai ki tētahi mea, he pai ki te kī pēnā.
Engari kua roa ngā kura tuarua, ngā maheni wāhine, me ngā whakaari hopi e kōrero ana mō tēnei kaupapa matua mai i te tekau tau atu i 1980. E kore e rerekē te whakapuakitanga anō i tēnei. Inaa, ko te tangata noa e whakaae ana ki tētahi mahi moepuku e kinongia ana e mōhio pai ana kei te wātea tonu te "kāo" pūmau; engari kāore rātou e hiahia ki te whakamahi, ehara i te mea nā te mea kei te tuwhera ō rātou hinengaro. Ko tētahi atu whakamārama ko te kore e taea e rātou te whakaaro ki tētahi whakaaro whakatenatena hei whakahē i te mahi e pā ana; ā, i tēnei whakaaro, kāore te ahurea matua i āwhina i tetahi mea. Engari, kua āraihia e ia te nuinga o ngā momo whanonga moepuku katoa ki te whakahē nui, mena ka haere tahi me te puehu patupaiarehe whakarerekē o te whakaaetanga a te pakeke.
Ko te kī he kino tetahi mea mēnā kāore koe e pai ki a ia, engari he pai mēnā he pai ki a koe, he tautohe tino koretake. Kāore e pai mō ngā whakamātautau waina, me ngā whanaungatanga tangata anō hoki. Ka meinga ō mea e pai ana ki a koe, e kore rānei e pai ki a koe ki ētahi mea me te mea me hanga ki runga i te onepu, ā, kāore e tika kia tiakina. Ka huri ngā kare ā-roto o te whakarihariha hei "manakohanga" kaua ki ngā urupare āwhina o te māramatanga matatika. Ka ngaro i a koe te kaha ki te whakapuaki i te mea i roto i ētahi atu āhuatanga he mea tino maori ki te kī: "Kāo, kāore au i te pai ki te mahi i tēnā, nā te mea kāore he mea e whakaatu ana i te whakahawea ki ahau; ā, he tangata wairangi koe mō te whakamātau noa iho".
Me whai wāhi te mātauranga ā-ira tangata tūturu ki te mātauranga matatika, ā, ko te mātauranga matatika he whakawa i runga i te whakamāramatanga; heoi, he āhua rerekē ki ngā tohunga matatika o ēnei rā te kore whakawa, e ai ki tā rātou kupu pai. Nō reira, he rerekē rawa tā rātou mahi ā-ira tangata ki tētahi atu momo whanonga tangata: he mea wehe kē i ngā waiaro o ia rā pērā i te mauahara me te riri, ahakoa he mārama he mauahara me te riri ngā mahi i mahia. Kāore he horopaki kē atu e taea ai e koe te papaki kaha i te mata o tētahi, te whakakōkī i a rātou, te kukume i a rātou ki te taura, te mea rānei kia ruaki rātou, engari me kī tonu i muri mai me te kore whakama i "whakaute" koe i a rātou puta noa.
I te mea ko ngā wahine whakakeke me ngā momo whakapono anake e pai ana ki te whakahē i tēnei kōrero wairangi, ko ngā kōrero whakakatakata a Niblett rāua ko Gallop mō te "whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ake", te "whakawātea i te tangata i te whakama" me te "whakanui ake i te whakaae" ka haere tonu, ka huri haere i ngā raruraru matatika tūturu o te taunekeneke moepuku engari kāore e tino whai wāhi. I roto i tētahi uiuinga i te tau 2019, i kōrero a Gallop mō ngā mahere ki te tīmata i tētahi pakihi e kiia nei ko ConSensual: ehara i te mea, pērā i tō wehi tuatahi, he pae mātauranga moepuku e aro ana ki ngā mema o te Rōpū Conservative, engari he "taupānga sexting pāpori haumaru, e āhei ai koe ki te sexting tino haumaru me te whakapai ake i tō whakawhitiwhiti kōrero moepuku i roto i tō whanaungatanga (kua whakaritea katoatia e au tēnei mea, me whai kaipupuri moni noa ahau)". Whakaarohia he Cindy-avatar i roto i ngā pūtu whakakatakata, e whakamahara ana ki a koe mēnā ka karangahia koe e tētahi he wahine kairau paru, whakarihariha, he pai rawa atu, mena ka pai koe ki a ia; engari kāore rawa ki te kore koe e pai! Engari ki ahau nei, ka piri noa ahau ki a WhatsApp, me taku tikanga o te karo i te tuku karere kuputuhi ki te hunga e kitea ana te whakarihariha ki ahau. Ā, koinei tētahi wāhanga o te mātauranga moepuku ka taea e te ao te whiwhi mō te kore utu.
Tuhinga o mua Kathleen Stock