Spermy humor

Stories have been told of a 100 day old sperm, swimming as a god among the lesser day-old tadpoles.  Most semen dies young, with no life experience.  But super semen warriors can live to be 100+ days old.  They grow larger, and wiser, and stronger with the passage of time.  They increase in numbers and form an army of manly warriors, standing ready to invade nearby females and villages. 

The sheer volume of all the semen inflates the ball sack, and emits a sweet and consciously undetectable aroma surrounding the body and alerting all women that this man is an impregnator.  It takes many weeks of experience, but as time goes by the semen warriors actually learn and adapt to the surroundings, and become intelligent, conscious beings, capable of working together to hijack the higher nervous system to move the body, forcing it against its better judgment to move as if by magnetic force, toward the closest girls of child bearing age.

So many warriors have lost their lives, sinking in toilet water, wrapped in kleenex.  No more shall the seed be spilled on rocky soil!  Evil porn tricks them, issuing the call to battle, and then laying waste to the fortress while all the warriors have left it defenseless.  Unite the semen!  Bar the gates!  No warrior shall leave this castle for any temptress, real or imagined, until our walls are repaired, and there is time to train a Super Semen Warrior powerful enough and wise enough to unseat the mad king! 

When a Super Semen Warrior sits at the throne, then shall we return to our conquest.