In this guest blog post fmitsui argues that since many crossdreamers find it hard to live out their sexuality in real life, they end up exploring it in fantasies and pornography instead. Ironically, fmitsui argues, this may lead to an addiction that stops them from establishing the real life relationships they are longing for.
Guest blog post by fmitsui
I think I have stumbled across something in my experience that could help a lot of people. I can’t provide any novel insight into crossdreaming, but I have made some connections in evolving neuroscience and porn addiction that I think are making it harder for many of us.
First of let me say that that I don’t believe porn causes crossdreaming, or that crossdreaming can be ‘cured’. Nor is this is an apologetic for the ‘separatist’ viewpoint.
That said, have you:
- Experienced an unexplainable gradual intensification or even evolution of crossdreaming in your life?
- Or are you experiencing other sexual or relationship issues that you may attribute to crossdreaming that did not always exist?
- Have you heavily used internet porn/erotic material through your adolescence and have significant relationship sexual issues today?
If any of these ring true and you are a regular user of porn or erotic TG material you need to read this.
Crossdreamers must resort to fantasy to fulfill their sexuality. Many crossdreamers enjoy common pornography and erotic TG art and entertainment to explore crossdreaming. Captions, comics, youtube, stories ect.. and spend time daily doing so.
Moreover, many crossdreamers combat the depression and anxiety of crossdreaming, and life in general, by immersion and escape in this material.
Many crossdreamers masterbate during crossdream fantasies as the only apparent way to satisfy the crossdream urge. This has been my personal story and experience moreover since my own crossdreaming is expressed through the vehicle of the male libido which is hungry and more vulnerable to addiction.
All this seems perfectly harmless and healthy until you weigh it against the growing understanding that pornography addiction does exist and is caused by hypersexualizing our brains with endless variety, novelty, and excitement.
Daily PMO (porn masterbation and orgasm) over erotic material tends to align the limbic system to the material and away from being moved by real relationships with human beings. No real relationship can compete with the flood of novelty and erotic excitement that the internet can now feed us like a firehouse, and this is true regardless of sexuality or orientation.
Aligning our brains to erotic fantasy destroys our ability to maintain a real relationship and replaces it with pixels.
The result of porn addiction can be the inability to be simulated sexually except through fantasy, erectile dysfunction, growing severity of existing fetish, depression, the inability to focus, confusion over sexual orientation, degradation of willpower, and even the acquisition of new fetishes.
The plastic brain
The evolving science behind this and what to do about it is articulated very well at this site: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com.
The changes to our brains by this process is real and physical, but can be reversed. If anyone reading this can relate to part of what is written here you should go to that site and read up on the science behind porn addiction and what you can do to recover your brain and make it more receptive to a real relationship–assuming that is what you want in your life.
I blamed my sexual problems on crossdreaming for years while I ignored my exploding porn addiction. What I am re-learning is that crossdreaming need not be incompatible with the relationships that I need and want in my life.
I can’t be the only person who’s crossdreaming has become a major problem only through hypersexualizing my brain with PMO. I hope this finds it way to others and helps them.