It’s actually been closer to 130 days for me. There’s a lot I would like to say but I’ll keep it short and use point-form.
- I always had negative feelings associated with my fapping. I wouldn’t say I was addicted though.
- I had feelings of guilt. I had the delusion that if I fapped before studying, I would get it out of the way and be able to concentrate better on my school work. Afterwards, I would only realize how much time I just wasted.
- I started to get into more violent stuff. It didn’t match up with the values I was raised with (don’t hit a woman, etc.)
Journey – CONS:
- It has been a difficult and challenging journey, and I don’t feel like its over yet.
- Temptation. I had strong urges to watch porn during the first month. Those are gone now. I still have strong urges to fap every now and then. I usually distract myself by doing something physical (going to the gym or just doing pushups at home). Another con might be that I’m really horny now. I don’t think of it as much of a con though- I consciously work on doing productive things with my sexual energy.
- Pain. Around the 90 day point, the pain I had from blue balls was horrible. I used to go for a run. More like a full sprint for as long as I could. Also started taking hot-then-cold showers. These things helped me a lot, but I know everyone is different and other things might work better for you.
THE Journey – PROS:
- Superpowers? Not really. But the benefits are REAL and have extended to numerous aspects of my life.
- Increased confidence and self-esteem. This has been the most positive result so far. I’m less concerned about what people think about me, and this has made me quite the smooth talker. With men and women, social interactions are more pleasant and I feel like I’m playing more of a dominant role.
- More energetic. I have transferred my sexual energy into efforts to test myself physically. I’m going to the gym to release this energy but when I leave I’m in a great mood and just feel more energetic. Its a Win/Win.
- Feelings of control and will-power. I think to myself: “If I can decide to stop watching porn/fapping and start going to the gym more, how else can I improve my life?” I’ve put more effort into eating healthier, making new friends, and controlling the amount of time I waste on the internet.
TL;DR: It was definitely a challenging journey and it’s not over yet. The benefits are REAL and I’m proud to be part of this movement.
I fapped today after more than 8 months (33 weeks) hard mode and I don’t feel bad about it!
Whether to call it a “relapse” or not, I’m not sure. But I do know one thing: I accomplished my goal and I’m damn happy about my entire journey. I set out to conquer my porn addiction, and I did just that! What’s not to be happy about? The past 8 months have taught me so much about self-control, determination, and prioritization. It has truly changed my life.
WHY did I fap? Because for the past 8 months I have been fighting to destroy my demon: PMO. And now I realized that I had done just that. During my 8 months, I watched porn 3-4 times to test myself and each time I switched it off after about 5 mins when I realized that I was no longer aroused. I’m no longer turned on by porn! Awesome!
Now it’s time for me to find the equilibrium level that’s right for me in my life and live it out PORN FREE. Let me be clear. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with fapping. I fapped today without porn fantasies in my mind, and it felt like a huge relief. For me, and for every single person, the real problem is PMO’ing. Porn is the poison that corrupts our minds and our relationships.
I now plan on living a normal, healthy life. Fapping when I feel like it and when I feel it’s right (ie: I’m still in control and am not overcome by sexual fantasies). My goal is accomplished and it all feels great! I’m ready for the world! For those of you going past 8 months on hard mode: Tremendous Respect for you! Keep it up until you have also accomplished what you set out to do and when you feel at peace with yourself.
I know I haven’t posted a lot and don’t have a badge, but I’ve been a long-time lurker and simply reading other people’s posts was the greatest assistance. Thanks for everything r/nofap. You changed my life and I’m eternally grateful.