Some changes just can’t be described in words. I’m so thankful that a friend posted the NOFAP link in chat as a joke…. It has changed my life. Stick with it. The journey is amazing and well worth the pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, the last 4 months have been very interesting indeed…. I went 54 days, relapsed, 50 days, relapsed, and now a new personal best 56 days of NOFAP!
I’m on a 180 day NOFAP challenge. Double the normal 90. I decided to extend my challenge early on and despite thinking twice many a times, I’m still committed. My scumbag brain has tried to rationalize that if I just get to 90 that everything will be OK and I can end my challenge. My scumbag brain has tried to rationalize that since I made 90 days with only one PMO that my challenge is complete. My scumbag brain made me relapse twice by saying that edging was Ok…. That is how far the addiction has taken over my brain. It’s sickening. It’s disgusting. I’m going to 180 and no one or thing can stop me.
I’ve been 160 days with two PMO’s…. That in itself is amazing to me.
So what’s changed? To sum it up…. EVERYTHING.
How much of the change is from not fapping and how much is the personal changes that not fapping so forcefully made me confront? I can’t answer that. Science will have to answer that. I will say that without a doubt, I’ve changed as a person for the better. I’ll do a little rundown of before and currently:
Before, I was:
- Had no REAL friends
- Had no female interests
- Got no attention when entering a room
- Could not hold eye contact
- Could not hold a good interesting conversation
- Had extreme lust for sex
- Had unrealistic expectations for who I could attract
- Spent hours a day fapping, fantasize about fapping, or finding fap material.
- I’d never go out and have fun.
- Had a mild form of ED
- Couldn’t imagine myself ever finding a good girlfriend
- I walk into a room and command attention
- I can walk up to women and engage in meaningful conversation
- I can look her in the eye without fear of judgment
- I have women on my radar that are genuinely interested in me
- I feel like my ED is fixed (to be confirmed soon I’m sure)
- I have 3 really good friends right now and a good 10 female possible interests
- I’ve been told I’m handsome, sexy, smell good
- I had a mom in a store tell me that her daughter would love me (already mom approved!)
- I don’t think about porn or PMO or sex
- I don’t get urges to PMO
- I do get urges to actually get to know women to figure out if we’re compatible.
- I’m less insecure about my body and less anxious around women
- My expectations for who I can attract are more in line with reality
- I get out and go to parties and hangout weekly instead of once a year.
TL;dr – Nofap has been a struggle. I’m at a new personal best and on pace to get it done this time! It’s sometimes hard to notice changes day to day. But things do and will change if you’re committed. Find a hobby where you’ll have a chance of meeting people with similar interests. Don’t be afraid to talk and listen. Stay with it!!!!!