I discovered /r/nofap about a year ago and went in for 18 days. At the time I was still dating the love of my life. I had just moved across the globe to pursue a startup dream I had leaving a 6 figure job I had. I gave up at 18 days thinking it was pretty good. Fast forward the past year and we broke up,
I couldn’t get over it and the startup is now failing. Kept blaming myself. I am probably moving back to where I was back to a job similar to the one I had. Great money, but I didn’t make many friends with colleagues, and when you fap every morning before work and in the washrooms at work, and eat a lot of carbs, it can make the day pretty bad. I wanted to change even though I am right now broke, unemployed and single.
Going back into the backstory: All throughout life, there was never any consequences I thought. Never studied in high school or university, have an IQ of 150, was naturally good at sports etc. Family was a bit unstable. I ended up going to a dozen schools. Decided to not make friends and fap instead. Pretty much everyday. Cyber sexed at 14 with random girls in Europe etc. Always crammed last minute and fapped before every test and interview anytime I was nervous. All talent, no execution. I was cocky as hell too and walked around making people feel stupid. Looking back I was limiting my own potential while showing off to hide my insecurities and my inability to fit in given didn’t have lifelong friends.
40 days ago, I went back on NoFap. Sure enough there was a different hot girl. Got her. That wasn’t so hard. After sleeping with her, I told her i didn’t want to. We didn’t connect intellectually. She was a distraction to what I was trying to achieve. I would have never imagined saying that to this girl. When I return to a stable job back half way around the world, I didn’t want to be happy again cause I have money again. I want to make sure I could be strong at my lowest point. No career, no money, no girlfriend. So the past 40 days I did nofap and resumed all the hobbies I took up and stopped half way.
Today, I went to the driving range after doing lots of yoga and gym work the past month and I hit the 5 irons 30-40 yards farther. I attribute that to my muscles not being tired, actually eating properly and sleeping properly and my mind being able to focus. Back not hurting from fapping helped too.
I see people that have 90 day goals and obviously I haven’t gotten there. But to me, I’m so happy with where I am headed in life, I think I would make my grandparents proud. One of them just passed away and they lived a life of dignity and honor and diligence and cared about the things that mattered. There was no porn or tv back when they grew up. So maybe I’ll fall off the wagon, but it won’t be because I’m excusing myself with fake congratulations for making it 90 days. There are definitely days of flatlining but the difference now is when I’m depressed that day or scared, I know as long as I stay true to myself, a couple days later, I would feel great again. But if I flapped, I know I have years of history of underachieving, depressing, sad life to refer to. Knowing that, it’s easy to stay on track.
I called the ex the other day hoping she’d maybe be aware of some changes, but didn’t happen. That’s ok. On one hand, I’m sad I wasn’t on nofap before her, but on the other, I know if she saw me again when I move back, she’d be the one wishing we were still together.
Thanks guys. And this is the right way to live. Even if you never get a girl, never make it rich, never gain weight, just cut off fapping. It’s not about having expectations of grandeur from not fapping, it’s just about saying to yourself that’s not what I do. Period. Everything else that you’re looking for from life – they’ll come to you in due time.