I’ve been lurking around this subreddit for some time now. It’s been a huge source of inspiration and motivation during my nofap journey, and I want to thank all of you guys for that! Your reports and anecdotes gave me strength and kept me pushing through. I’d like to give something back and share the story of my reboot with you.
I just completed 90 days of hardmode. It was my first try at the challenge, and I pushed through without any resets. But it was fucking difficult at times! Before that, I was a daily fapper for more than 15 years with occasional internet porn, nothing too crazy, but slowly escalating over time. It started to worry me when I was thinking about porn during sex with my ex-girlfriend, and first signs of ED were creeping in.
I’ll list some of the positive changes I experienced first, and then highlight some points from my nofap diary:
- feel more grounded, down-to-earth feeling in my body
- less hectic in conversations (with both sexes, but particularly girls), more in control
- younger and fresher face (so they say), even though I still have a bit of a shade under my eyes, hehe
- much less cravings for candy (I had a real sweet tooth before!)
- music is so intense, it gives me the shivers
- girls look more beautiful, and I feel much more attracted than before
- better focus, can read an entire book in one sitting
- Day 6: First morning wood since years (?), maybe 60%
- Day 10: strong urge to fap, but not feeling horny, very strange
- Day 15: joking with some stranger girls in a restaurant, not my normal mode 😉
- Day 17: visiting the family, I feel a stronger connection to them, and listen more carefully than usual
- Day 26: very irritable and moody, I want to fap to release the negative energies – but I resist
- Day 30: cracking jokes non-stop at a friend’s birthday like it is second nature for me, great night
- Day 36: incredibly horny – I’m cycling through the city and want to knock these girls with their short skirts off their bike to take them doggy style (summer is here)
- Day 49: fantasizing about lying in a hammock with a girl, cuddling and kissing (WTF, this must be the soft version of my usual fantasies)
- Day 54: I realize that I feel much less shame than in the past, and feel a wave of self-acceptance
- Day 68: first wet dream of my life 😉
- Day 75: raging libido, relaxed times with friends, this stuff really works
- Day 85: getting a boner from a love scene in a book – it’s time I get a girlfriend again 😉
- Day 90: here I am, no fireworks, but still feeling great!
I can’t wait to have sex again. I feel more confident around girls for sure and will see how it goes. I’ll stick to no PM, and don’t ever want to go back.