Wow. 3 months already? I find it a little bit hard to believe myself, that I made it this far. I woke up one day and decided I would never fap again, that is simply it. That day was 3 years ago, lol. I’ve woken up with that same idea countless times in my head, and I cannot count the number of times I proved myself wrong. About 91 days ago, I found this sub-reddit. For the longest time, I was trying to quit for religious reasons, and I had no idea what kind of real benefits this NoFap thing could provide. Once I saw YBOP, and all the videos over there, I was all in. That was the tipping point of the iceberg. Something went off in my head, and I realized how much of a mess I was in. I put things off until the night-before, I was never motivated to do anything except sit down and play games, I was in terrible physical condition (and arguably mental condition as well). I had goals, but I pushed them into tomorrow and told myself I have time, I’m only fifteen.
People now a-days, at least the ones I know are afraid of Doing Hard Things. That is the simple truth that our society is built around, the American lifestyle of please yourself as much as you want whenever you want no matter if it costs others much more than your comfort is worth. That is not what anybody wants to be, but somehow, 99% of society fits the description of average. School, too! The question I hear most often is “Will this be on the test?”, and not “Why does that work?”. Some wire, or neuron broke in my head that day. It was the catalyst for a chain reaction that has flipped my world-view on it’s head. I know most of this does not seem relevant, but you will put it all together soon enough.
I might not be the best in the world at maths or programming, but I am “so good for my age“, as everyone likes to put it. I was often tempted to be content with my ‘prodigy’ status. I could get A’s and B’s without studying for a single test all year, and it only piled on more of my “I’m better than everyone else” attitude. I do not know what snapped me out of floating by without trying, but something did. I assume it was a combination of my poor physical condition, worsening depression & social anxiety, and loneliness (Oddly, the day before I began NoFap, I was having a little pity-party because it marked 1 year without a relationship. “I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence” -V for Vendetta).
So, mindlessly browsing the internet like a zombie, looking for more porn to shovel onto the pile, I found myself here. I was not cynical of this reddit, quite the contrary. I was surprised that people other than me were trying to stop fapping. No more than 10 minutes in to my browsing, I found /r/getmotivated as well. I stayed up well into the night, and instead of fapping, I flooded every part of my brain with people overcoming the (what other’s say) impossible. I sat down, looked at my life, and decided I was not the person I wanted to be.
I cannot really explain how this all happened so quickly. I have learned a lot in the past three months, arguably more than I have learned in my entire life. If I want to become the elite, I have to start now, while all of my competitors are fapping their lives away. Every nerd ever plays games and says “Man, I wish I could make something this awesome!”. I had the same mindset, I wanted to program cool games, I even had a ton of ideas; but like everything else, I pushed all of that onto my future self. My future self was the guy who had it together in college, and was a programming whiz. I was completely depressed, I had social anxiety (Clinical, like I had it before I found porn), my face was covered with acne, I had nearly 0 friends. I convinced myself that playing video games 7+ hours on the weekdays, and 16+ hours on the weekends was an okay thing to do because I needed experience in games to be able to make them. I actually believed that “I am addicted to video games” would look good on a resume.
Okay, enough about my back story, that’s all good and everything, but it does not really matter. 90 day reports are not the “why I’m here” reports. 90 days is the point where the soldier files a field-report for all his fellow trainees who aren’t quite there yet. For those of you wondering, no, I do not have a girlfriend. This is all hardmode! It is possible, and I see no future stopping date either. The “superpowers” are not superpowers, they are all the things fapping has taken away from you.
I remember 60 days, and how I was lying in bed crying uncontrollably because all my emotions were flooding back in so quickly I had no idea what was going on. It’s like being handed the force from star wars, having no training, and then trying to use it. It does not work. At first, your head is just swirling around in a pool, and slowly you learn to control your emotions, and they are stronger than ever! Now, instead of random crazy depression, I get random happy bursts, where I feel like I can do anything at all!
If you told me a year ago that I would be working out every day, I would tell you that you had gone insane. Well, here I am. Working out is something that I cannot stress enough, it helps clear your head, fight off urges, and just improves your life in general. My acne is falling off a cliff right now, it is disappearing, disintegrating, whatever you wan’t to say about it.
I have thrown procrastination out of the door. I am more motivated to do whatever I set my heart to. My focus has shot through the roof, I had ADD, but now I can sit down and work on homework for hours without a break.
My anxiety is not gone, however. That existed before fapping, and probably will be in the back of my head for life. However, I have magically gained the power to beat up the little idiot who tells me I can’t talk to women, or that I shouldn’t go hang out with friends. I’m sure there is more, and I’m sure I would know exactly what it all was if I relapsed today.
They say you don’t know what you have till it is gone, and I assume I have grown in ways that I don’t realize. Dating is something I do not plan to do until possibly next year. I need to focus on the fundamentals of my life, and fine-tune myself into who I want to be before I date. I’m perfectly fine with waiting, though. I can still talk to women, and when I get the chance to do so, I’m quite good at it.
This is a wonderful community, and I always see the question “Any tips for a n00b/person who is new?”. My advice to you, friend, is do whatever it takes.
- First off, commit pornocide, delete your ENTIRE collection. I do not care how attached you are, but if you are serious about nofap, and you still have it, your logic fails. You are trying to quit your addiction, but saving your stash for “later”. It is like a recovering alcoholic keeping his cupboard stocked full of his favorite beer 24/7.
- Next on the list, read the sidebar! Read everything on YBOP. Learn as much as you can. Cram it all into your brain. There is no such thing as “I cannot learn anymore”. Trust me, I’ve tried to learn “too much” in these past three months, it does not work.
- Look at yourself now, then look at who you would like to be in 10 years. How do you get there? Small, daily steps add up to staggering long-term results.
- Exercise! Holy crap I cannot say this enough. “I do not have a gym membership” is NEVER an excuse. I haven’t been to the gym, ever. Like not in my life. Start by doing as many push ups as you can do (does not matter if it is a low number), then do the same for situps, crunches, planking, leg lifts (all four; back, side, side, front), and bench dips. Okay, you did as many as you can? Good, now, take the lowest number, and the next night, do that many of every exercise. Then, after that, add 1 rep for every single day!
- Read books, books are good. If you do not know what to read, I suggest “Fahrenheit 451”, All the hunger games books, “The Book Thief”, The Inheritance Series (Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, & Inheritance), “Looking for Alaska”, and everything Tolkien has ever written.
- Pursue your hobbies!
- Limit your facebook/reddit time.
- And most of all, never give up!
AMA in the comments, it is getting super late, and I really need to go to bed. I’ll answer EVERYTHING in the morning. OH! Check out my blog! I plan to put awesome, motivational things on there, as well as write on topics I find important. Anyways, I have to go to bed, I’m super tired. Best of luck fapstronauts
LINK – Achievement Get: 90 Days
UPDATE – 5 month report
5 months ago I PMO’ed for the last time. No, I don’t have a girlfriend, but that doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that I have a purpose. I’ve started computer programming (I just turned 16) which is huge, I’m working out daily, I’m accomplishing my goal of livestreaming/uploading to youtube daily; I am the man I wanted to be 5 months ago. I have to wear a belt now! I never wore a belt in my life!
The biggest thing, though, is that I am truly happy. I heard somebody say once, “If someone looks happy, they’re selling something”. That is generally the case, but not with me. I love my life now, I value it, and I don’t think I’d trade it for anything. Sure I still have a lot of issues, but I’m doing what I love, and that is gaming.
In the past, I’ve done stupid stuff. Very stupid. And I hurt a lot of very nice young women in the process. I’m still a virgin, but just barely. As a christian, the things I’ve done weighed super heavily on my mind for quite a while. I haven’t dated in about a year and a half, haven’t even made an attempt, and that’s because I knew I wasn’t ready. I needed to first form myself into the man I wanted to be, not stay in a self-loathing pit of despair and semen. I literally did just wake up one day and say “Screw this, screw my life, screw everything; I’m going to change it”. I switched school to somewhere that cared about education, put my heart, mind, and body into absolutely everything I did, and through many late nights of struggling through the web of lies in my head that it is impossible, here I stand. I began first to put my heart into my grades. I started to realize that education was important, that it mattered, and I became obsessed with learning as much as possible. It is far easier, I find, to take a test when you understand the material. The last quarter, my GPA was a 4.0 (no weighted at my school), and I didn’t study for a single test. Understanding is far more important than memorizing facts, and it seems my previous schools had been obsessed with cramming them down my throat instead of teaching me the why’s. Then, I started working out. Slowly at first, I could barely do a pushup. All up from there. I added in, slowly, bodyweight routines that were more challenging. I lost 20 pounds of fat, and ditched the big belly. The next thing I tackled was coding. My dream is to create the best video games in the world someday, and so I’m starting now. So far I’ve made a website (currently down, screw you ISP), a bot to moderate my livestreams, tons of mini-games, and now I’m working on a forum. In addition, I’ve picked up journaling, guitar, magic the gathering, content creating on youtube & twitch TV, reading, writing, making tabletop RPG’s, and most recently trying to understand fractals.
I’ve found that the more hobbies I pick up, the more time I have. It is super weird, I have no idea why it works, but it does. Most likely it is due to the fact that I’m not spending hundreds of hours mindlessly browsing the internet. Currently I do not have a rockstar body, but I’m starting to see defined muscle. Eventually my goal is to go into parkour (it will happen, damnit!). I was starting to think that nobody was noticing, other than my immediate family. The girls I liked could really care less, and about a month ago, I began to question as to why I was doing any of this if nobody got to realize.
This past weekend, I went to Play On Con, a smaller convention in birmingham alabama. Having really started to pick up speed on youtube, I wanted to travel there to meet the fantastic minecraft LP’ers who would be there. Some big names like Guude, SethBling, JoeHills, and The Shaft (to name a few). They were all fantastic people, and I even beat Mark_IRL in a magic draft. Friday night, it was very hot and humid outside. I decided to get into the pool to cool off. Before I never would have done that, especially in public, but now I’m comfortable in my body. Getting out, I notice a very beautiful girl quickly look away. I wondered how long she had been looking at me. The next day she walks over to me (I’m in the middle of a magic tournament), introduces herself, invites me to a party later that night, and walks off. Well, after a long day of magic, cards against humanity, fun times with youtubers, cosplay contests, and many other shenanigans that may or may not involve a pinata being elected con-president, I show up to her party. The entire night was spent laughing, having a good time, talking to her quite a bit, and then after it ended I walked around the grounds with her until about 4AM. When I was beginning to lose hope, life throws me a curveball.
Now, we live like 3 hours apart, but it is the idea that women, especially beautiful ones, could actually be attracted to me. That kind of changed my outlook on this. Before, I was doing it for the “I’ll show them what I can be”. When that didn’t work out, I was kind of disappointed. It wasn’t until I really started to improve myself for me that anything happened. Learn to be you, be you around everybody, and you will have a much better time. One of the things I’ve given up with fapping is secrets. I tell anybody anything they would like to know, right then and there. It is much simpler that way. If you’re sitting there thinking “Oh, I could never tell anybody about that“, yes you can. Don’t you want your friends to be friends with you, and not some random person you pretend to be? I certainly do.
Now, I may have accomplished tons more than I ever imagined possible 6 months ago, but that does not mean I’m finished. I’m still climbing. Make sure that you always have a future goal. Have more than one, so that when one is complete, you are not idling. My goal over the next year is to learn Java and C++, and create a basic game. I am also going to complete the 100 pushup challenge by the time school starts, and I plan to have a 6-pack by then as well. As for my youtube goals, I plan to get over 1000 subscribers in the next 6 months. I hope to see growth on livestreaming as well, hopefully over 500 followers by january! As a rising-junior, I need to get good grades, and understand math most importantly. Pre-cal is coming up, and I plan to get an A+ in that, as well as all my other classes. I want to become a better guitar player, and I am going to practice 30 minutes every day. Journaling is something I love, and I hope to do that every day I can as well. Those are my goals, they are not impossible. They are reachable, quantifiable, and they’re going to happen.
Please, for the love of god, go out and do something (or stay inside and do something). Just do something okay? Life is very long, and very boring if you do not. They tell you money is important, that time is money. Money is neither important nor time. What’s important is time, and that you had fun spending it. Lots of people have lots of money, and if money could buy happiness, then they would all be shining with joy. Instead, the rich men of this world are stressed out, balding, and do not enjoy anything at all. No, time is far more important, because you cannot earn more of it. Nothing you could do would ever give you more time in this world. Spend your time wisely. Find somebody to love. Put your heart and soul into a cause you believe in. Live, laugh, love, and you will die happy. It isn’t the date on either end that counts, but how you used your dash, for that dash between the dates of your life represents all the time you get to spend alive on this earth, and in the end, who will know what your little line is worth?