I’ve gotten into porn when I was in the 6th grade but it never really became a problem until I was 14. This is when I started to masturbate multiple times every day.
It would become a habit when I wake up, come home from school, before I go to bed, or whenever I didn’t want to deal with a problem I had. When I started High School, I didn’t know anybody and I didn’t interact with anybody. This caused me to have a terrible year and I blame myself and masturbation for not wanting to be social. I looked a girls like they were an object of desire and was too shy to talk to anybody. I’ve never had a girlfriend, had a first kiss.
I’ve had female friends, but never had the courage to ask any of them out even if it would have been a guaranteed yes from them. When I reached sophomore year, I told myself that I would make big changes to my life and things have been turning out much better for me. In the beginning, nothing had really changed but I wanted to make things better for myself. I still had a few friends that I had before, but I didn’t want to be known with the social outcasts.
I had read about /r/NoFap but never really gave it much of a consideration because why should I give up something that I enjoyed and looked forward to everyday. During the new year I realized my thinking was the same as a drug addict. They could refuse to believe that what they are doing is having a negative impact on their life or even if they did accept it, they wouldn’t quit because it gives them a temporary pleasure.
I decided to take the NoFap challenge do to me hearing a lot of positive outcomes of it so I decided to make it a New Year resolution since it was close to the end of the year. Obviously, since I had just completed my first full month today. I had a
few many relapses.
Your thousand mile journey starts with a single step. You will fall down and life will hit you with everything that it has at you. Just because you fail doesn’t mean you must give up. I had that attitude after I relapsed on my first day. I could have easily given up saying that this wasn’t for me, but I didn’t because I wanted things to get better and I knew that I was a addict of porn. I wanted change and change I received.
HOW HAS MY LIFE CHANGED OVER THE JOURNEY SO FAR
If you were to tell me all the changes that would appear in my life over the journey within almost four months, I would have never believed it at all.
- I have a lot more energy and I have made a lot more friends over the months. I have been told that I’m outgoing and positive, something that I have never have been told.
- One of my friends told me to join the tennis team with him. I have never played tennis or let alone even join a sport. I was determined to bring changes to my life and I joined with him and have made many more friends on the team and had even made varsity which is something that I am still in shock over.
- I have been doing a lot better in school work and was recommended for two Advance Placement Classes.
- The last change that I enjoy the most is that I had started to talk a lot more with of my only female friends who had turned into my best friend, and then later my girlfriend. I stopped viewing her as an object and treated her with a lot more respect and started to even be a bit more flirtatious with her and she started flirted back. Today, I celebrated my one month of nofap and we hung out today and I had the confidence to give her my first kiss.
I’m unfortunately moving across the country for my dads job and I believe that this could be a chance to restart the high school experience since I have confidence in myself and am wanting to enjoy my life. I don’t know if all of these changes had came from the lack of masturbation or if these changes would have just appeared no mater what outcome I had. I do believe though that if I continue these actions, my life will continually get better since I have more control over it.
Also I just want to say that this is a really positive community where anybody can join. We’re all in the same boat with out problems and if it wasn’t for /r/NoFap, I don’t think I would have stuck with this. I’ll try to be helping others out and everybody else keep doing what you’re doing.