I can hardly believe I’ve made it to a half a year. It sees like it was just yesterday that I swore to myself that this would be the last relapse ever, and it turns out I meant it that time. My life has become so much better without the addiction of porn, and I can finally say that I don’t know what PMO feels like.
When I couldn’t stop for a week after I said I would, I realized I was in trouble. I slowly began to realize how numbed I was to emotion in general, and it scared me into action. I’m a few weeks shy of 17.
It’s been so long since I’ve jacked off that I honestly don’t remember what it is. Every aspect of my life has improved; from discipline to social comfort to more specific skills such as memory or empathy, etc.
It’s a very humbling experience to go through this process, but making it to the other side is so worth it.
Please, to all of you guys out there who are struggling, know that it does get better! You will get a streak going and you will improve your life. Please ask me any questions so that I can help pay you guys back for everything that you’ve helped me with.
EDIT 1: Honestly, the biggest thing for me before is that I was not comfortable with who I was. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m usually a very witty person and my sense of humor is a bit “out there”, but that side of my personality was numbed for years.
While I was under the influence of PMO, I was scared to death of being vulnerable and being myself, so I constantly hung out with guys who would put me down and treat me like garbage simply because they were the “easy guys” to hang out with and didn’t require any investment. This just reinforced the idea that I was worthless and led to even more PMO to try to make myself feel better.
My memory was crap (hence I was sucking in school), I was scared to death of women, and I was just going with life, not actually living it! I wasn’t disciplined and would always put off homework as long as I could.
Since my streak, I’ve been able to break some of my bad habits, clear my mind and finally begin living my life. I stopped hanging out with the worthless friends, became more comfortable with who I was and stopped objectifying women.
Those three things led to, respectively, a friend group that includes all National Honor Society members, more social ease and me worrying less about what people think of me and three separate women asking me to prom.
My GPA has risen sharply and I am looking at some higher end colleges that I never would have dreamed of a year ago. PMO sucked the life from me and killed my charisma and ability to think. It’s truly a magical feeling to get those back after so long.
LINK – 185 Days
I am literally speechless as I’m trying to randomly scribble down some of my thoughts right now. NoFap has turned me from an insecure little brat into a man, and people everywhere, both guys and girls, are noticing. Just today, I was asked to go to prom with a girl that, even as little as one month ago, I had written myself off as not good enough for. Honestly though, even though this victory is a huge milestone for me, it wouldn’t have happened without you guys and it’s as much of your victory as it is mine. Every single one of you out there helped me kick the horrid addiction I was plagued with for five long years. I just want to share my story and give some tips and tricks that helped me to beat this monster as a way of saying thank y
DAY ONE-14 SYNOPSIS -After months and months and trying, I finally began the streak that would lead me to where I am today. As always, the first couple of days are the ones where you are most motivated, and for me they were the easiest days to conquer due to me still being “satisfied” from my last jack off session.
CHALLENGE: For the first two weeks, brain fog was a huge problem for me. For those who don’t know what that is, you are generally numbed to everything that happens around you and your aren’t as sharp in general. As much as this reality sucks, there isn’t a whole lot you can do about this one other than wait it out. The heaviest brain fog generally dissipated (for me) within a week or so. SOLUTION: While there isn’t a whole lot you can do about brain fog, meditation and cold showers can help you focus your mind and give you a jolt if you are feeling especially sluggish.
CHALLENGE: After a few days, you experience a huge surge in sexual energy which, to the inexperienced Fapstronauts (and even the veterans sometimes), can be a deal breaker. This generally happened to me around the four day-one week mark. SOLUTION: This time period is going to give it to you, but there are things that help. For me, this is when I really started to try going out every day and do something with other people, be it lifting, going to the library, etc. This teaches you to release your energy in a way that is beneficial and gives you a much needed confidence boost when you realize what’s around the corner. The energy that you experience during that time period can be extremely beneficial, if you can control it. Cold showers help with this as well because it allows you to refocus and regain control of your mind.
WEEK TWO-ONE MONTH
SYNOPSIS -Ahh, the flatline. It’s amazing how something that sucks so bad can make us realize who we truly are and allow us to put past mistakes behind us. The two week period for me between Day 14 and the end of my first month was BY FAR the most challenging out of this whole time period.
CHALLENGE: The flatline. It’s dreaded by most people on here (and me for the longest time as well, but more on that in the solution), and for good reason. This is the time when withdrawal symptoms slam you the hardest and every fiber of you is screaming to go back to your old ways, and it gets a lot of people. You begin to question everything that you are doing, and it’s hell. SOLUTION: After many failures, I began to realize what the problem was. It wasn’t my lack of willpower or any thing like that. There are two ways your mind can react to any given situation at its most basic level: Challenge or Threat. An example of a challenge could be a game that you have been preparing for for an entire year and the game is finally here. Your body then reacts by pumping you with adrenaline, sending bulldog emotions through your body (I’M GOING TO FREAKING DESTROY THIS NO MATTER WHAT) and makes you more intense in general. The threat aspect of this releases adrenaline as well, but the thoughts change into a position where you aren’t in control of them. Call it the “flight” aspect of fight or flight if you will. You are constantly reacting instead of acting, and as soon as I figured this concept out, I was able to switch my view of the flatline from something that I should be scared of into something that I couldn’t wait to demolish. Bingo. That thought alone (coupled with the usual cold showers and daily interactions with people) was enough to propel me through it and push me into month one and beyond.
MONTH ONE-MONTH FOUR
SYNOPSIS- Past the flatline, everything for me began to drastically improve. My social skills began to come back, my mind was sharper and I was overall more comfortable with who I was and people noticed this.
CHALLENGE: This time was when I really began to realize how poor I was in social situations. I would never talk/voice my opinion, I would always shy away whenever I could, and I would generally be as uninteresting as possible so as to avoid a negative view of me. SOLUTION: Practice, Practice, Practice. Any time that you are breaking old habits, there’s going to be a time where you get humiliated. It’s called the “Pain Period”. It’s when you begin to go out and talk to people and are faced with those horrendously situations that make you question why you are doing this that your character is truly developed. I had multiple instances like that where I really wouldn’t have minded burying my head in a wet slab of concrete and letting it dry, but, for those who are still reading this far, look at where I am today. Keep trying to talk to as many people as possible, even if it’s just for a minute at a time, and slowly build your way up.
SYNOPSIS- I can truly say that I have this thing beat. I haven’t been tempted to look at porn for over five months, but ALWAY remain vigilant. Porn can rear its ugly head at any time and you have to be disciplined enough to stop yourself if it does try to worm its way back into your life.
CHALLENGE: A continuation of the challenge from month 1-4 is still happening as well as an increased importance on doing things outside of a laptop or phone. I go outside for at least a half hour every day, have plenty of friends on speed dial for whenever I want to hang out with someone, and I even have a prom date for the first time ever. Another important aspect is managing your time. SOLUTION: Try to always set mini goals for yourself that you can actually do and rewire your brain to be happy about them. For example: no computer until homework is finished. That gives you a chance to focus not only on schoolwork, but something productive as a whole and allows your brain to feel good about it. Another one could be that if you get a girl’s number, you can buy yourself a small ice cream. Setting mini goals throughout the process with small rewards based off of completion is something that really helped me.
CONCLUSION/TL;DR : This journey took me years, but in the end, I was able to discover who I was and realize how destructive porn truly is. Keep plugging away for those of you who are struggling to get a streak going and know it does get better. I just scored a prom date with a girl at our school that I could have only dreamed about at the beginning of this journey. If any of you have any questions, feel free to comment or PM me if it’s more personal. Again, THANK YOU to every single person on here. I couldn’t have made it to where I am without you!
UPDATE – 90 Day Report!
Hello brothers, I am going to be extremely busy for the next few days, so I am taking the time to write my 90 day report right now (one day early), which I will get to in a moment. First, this is not my first 90 day streak (my longest is 282) and I have had plenty of long streaks during that time, but that doesn’t mean it was easy, as I’m sure many of you know. If you have any questions, please ask them here and I will respond to every question posted. After all, we are all here for each other!
*I will write a new section on how NoFap affects my interactions with women if you want me to! Additionally, I can work with people to help create a plan if they want, as each person’s journey is somewhat unique to themselves.
90 DAY REPORT
Three months clean is something to be proud of, but the way that you spend those months (what you do outside of not fapping) is arguably as important (if not more) than the act of not fapping itself. As I have gotten older, I realized that we have two lives; our second one begins when we realize we only have one. While I do not mean that you should go out and party or get into trouble, there are other things that you can do. Walk outside and smell the air. Talk to that girl. Smile. Go on a hike. It’s the little things in life that most people miss out on, but we are all here to recapture those. I have made it a part of my day to spend at least 10 minutes outside in some form every day, and the improvement in mental clarity from that (combined with staying away from PMO) has been amazing. Onto that next part about talking to the girl; I finally grew a pair once I moved to college in September (I was on a 25ish day streak at that point) and, despite me not being the most social guy in high school, put myself out there the first few weeks. I ended up loosing my virginity (with no performance issues) in October with an amazing girl who couldn’t get over how confident I was. She talked about how I seemed to own wherever I went, and other guys picked up on this too. Long story short, I am doing well in my social life aspect. Additionally, I have set the curve for two tests so far and am excelling in the classroom, all because of the mental clarity I have from being 90 days removed from PMO. Brothers, it is amazing once you get through the mud and make it to the other side. Keep fighting the good fight, and here’s to all of you out there who are going through hell to improve yourselves!
0-3: These are arguably the easiest days of the whole streak. Your body is still happy from your last relapse, and you are not hit with as many urges because of the aforementioned reason. GREAT time to start implementing new habits!
3-14: In the beginning parts of this time frame are when you start hitting the flatline. You all know how it goes- you feel very depressed, and the urges start to creep back in. Your motivation can start to wane, but this is where discipline comes in. Hitting the gym, cold showers and spending time outside will all help you control your energy* (see asterisk above). If you find some way to motivate yourself personally, use that encouragement here.
14-30: Once you punch through the flatline and the brain fog has faded, you will find yourself with a lot more free time than you originally had, and your time starts to become valuable again. This was HUGE for me; it felt like what I was doing mattered. I continued to get myself out there and do things besides game and sit inside all day. This is where the true recovery begins.
30-60: Confidence, confidence, confidence. At this point, the benefits start coming in waves. It became very easy to fight off urges, put myself out in social situations and focus on what needs to be done. This is where you move beyond NoFap and put your superpowers to use in the world.
60+: You are well on your way. Keep up the good work, and beware of urges that can sneak in, but you know how to fight them off by this point!
TLDR: Don’t jack off. 🙂