I last fapped on May 2nd of 2016, which means it’s been a year and six days since I started my current streak 🙂 This is something I’ve been meaning to get around to writing, I wanted to post this on the 2nd as it would be an exact one year, but oh well.
One thing I’d like to mention first, I see plenty of embellished stories on this sub. We’ve all seen them, “it’s day 10 and I’m literally an unstoppable, overpowered, testosterone-filled fuck machine and girls are all over me!!”. Not that these things don’t happen, but often these stories are enhanced. Some colorful adjectives and an inflated ego can go a long way.
Now, what I’m going to try and do here is give you an objective report of just how this lifestyle has affected me, and how it’s benefited my overall quality of living.
A little back-story: the last part of my life in which I indulged in PMO regularly was about mid-late January 2016. At this time, while I wasn’t totally miserable, I felt pretty awkward, insecure, maybe even a bit ashamed of myself; Just your average shy kid. I could hold an okay conversation with my closest friends, but I would often just shut it and keep to myself around strangers, especially girls. When I did have conversations with people I wasn’t all that comfortable with, they were pretty basic and awkward.
As for the PMO part of my life, I was getting into increasingly weird shit. Pulling up a porn website or subreddit (hell, sometimes even /b/ would do!) was one of my favorite parts of the day, and the things I got off to got more and more messed up. At one point, the legality of it all would be questionable. You don’t want to know.
I believe if I had not realized my bad habits at this point I would have very likely gotten addicted to porn entirely. Luckily I discovered nofap.
It all started off as a joke, I said I’d do a month of nofap. Of course after 5 hard days (pun intended) I went right back to PMO. Computer on, whatever porn site I wanted pulled up, and pants pulled in much the contrary direction, and away I went. But it was different, this time it felt kinda wrong, more so than it had before. I realized I had a taste of what it felt like to have that extra bit more energy, and that extra bit more confidence, and like any rational human I wanted more.
After that, I basically kept going on longer and longer streaks, determined to reach 90 days. First 5 days, then 14 days, then 36 days….Actually, that last streak was ended on purpose. I had decided nofap was for suckers and I’d just stick to masturbating with a clear mind, purely for the feel of it. Sort of like meditation, but stroking your turgid willy at the same time. Of course doing it once every two weeks, but that turned into once a week, which turned into twice a week with fantasies, and that turned into 4x a week eventually with some pretty strong fantasizing. On the 2nd of May 2016 I had one fap, so vigorous, so powerful, with such degrading fantasies running through my horny mind, that I became sick. I decided no more of this, and went on a proper 90 day run.
Well, 90 days turned into 180 days, and that turned into whatever the hell the count is now. My flair ought to show it if it actually works now.
At this point you might be thinking “Well that’s a lovely story that totally didn’t just turn into a pointless ramble about how fucking pathetic your life is you trash can of a human being so how has nofap affected you in the long run?”
Great question! Most people including me seem to have some pretty wild thoughts of what it will be like when they start abstaining from PMO. The truth is we tend to build unrealistic expectations, which usually aren’t met (I’m still kinda guilty of this). The truth is, contrary to popular belief, nofap won’t turn your introverted, shy self into a 10/10 pussy eating machine, that’s just fine.
Some people start nofap because they want a girlfriend, or they want to get laid. This is the wrong approach: giving up PMO is something you do for yourself, not anyone else. All of that extra female attention people keep going on about, if not a result of your own swollen ego (which is perfectly normal, we tend to feel highly about ourselves when we conquer a destructive habit like PMO) is simply because you are happier. You may not notice it, but you’re smiling that extra bit more, walking that extra bit taller, greeting people with that little extra oomph. And that is reciprocated. As a social species, we reciprocate what we see from others. It’s hard not to say hi or smile when someone does it for you.
So, how has it affected me?
Well, I didn’t get a girlfriend, and I didn’t get laid, but surprisingly enough these are NOT the important parts of nofap. Hell, they aren’t parts of nofap at all. We are literally designed by nature to fuck each other and create new living copies of ourselves, anyone can do it given time and the right circumstances.
What really has changed, however, are energy, happiness, confidence, and of course no more brainfog, which means I have a clearer mind. Simple things like having a positive mindset can make a noticeable difference in how you feel aswell.
My relationships with people have vastly improved, and I can actually get along smoothly with friends and total strangers alike. Some situations that used to be awkward are pretty much fine now, and things I’d try to avoid sometimes are now things I go out of my way to do. I’ve made it a habit to always say yes when invited to something. It might suck, but it might also be an opportunity to meet new people and have fun, or simply be with the company of the people you trust and enjoy being with 🙂
As for energy and motivation, they have improved decently. I’m more motivated to study, and I also feel like I can get better sleep now aswell, but I can’t quite explain it why.
Of course I’m still somewhat shy, and somewhat akward, and somewhat insecure. But these things never totally go away, they just slowly fade, but never quite disappear. This is just fine. After all there is no pleasure without pain. The light shines brightest in the dark, and all of that.
Anyway, I’m running out of things to say, and I’ve been writing this now for an hour if not more, so I’ll end it here. If you have any questions or criticisms please do leave them in this thread, I’d love to see them 🙂
LINK – One year report