Background: I’m currently 18 years old. I’ve always been really horny, so I started fapping when i was around 7 years old. I didn’t start video porn until I was about 13, but since then, I had fapped very regularly..definitely more than 5 times a week. Obviously, I started to experience the effects of too much porn. For instance, I would barely feel horny whenever I hooked up, I had very little sexual impulses when looking at hot chicks, and it would also take some extremely kinky porn (hardcore shit) for me to get off.
My goal: I wanted to change all of that. I wanted to return to the state I was in when i was 7 years old – horny as fuck and instant erections. I wanted to be at the stage where just looking at a hot girl on the street would give me an erection.
Journey: Personally, I have great will power; I don’t have a very addictive personality. I did 130 days straight. No porn, no fapping. I’m not going to lie, I still looked at still pictures on Facebook and Google images, but very infrequently..probably once or twice a month. Throughout the 130 days, I experienced probably 5 flatlines. Most of them lasted around 2- 3 weeks. For the most part of my challenge, I felt sooo asexual – I could barely muster up half-erections, and my libido was absolutely dead..I’m sure this is no old news for many you. Like many, I experienced similar symptoms described on this forum: no libido, feeling asexual, dead dick. One of the things I didn’t experience, however, was the depression or moodiness that apparently comes with flatlines. OVERALL, don’t be scared! You will feel asexual for most of the duration of your journey. I also had a lot of wet dreams. As time went on, my wet dreams became more vivid, and first person. My first wet dream was me watching myself (in third person) watching porn; one of my most recent wet dreams was me (first person) having sex.
What i did differently: In the last week of my journey (~123rd day), I was in another flatline. But this flatline had lasted for almost 4 weeks..which was unusually long. So I did some research. I came across someone who had a similar experience, and he said that for him to get out of the flatline was to masturbate, or as he called it ‘priming the pump’. So i took a risk, and fapped, thinking only of a particular girl I was close with. Best decision I’ve ever made.
CAUTION: Treat the above concept with caution. Don’t ever use this as an excuse to fall off the wagon. I would only recommend trying this if you’ve done the challenge properly for 120days +.
Why i think it worked: When you go cold turkey for 130 days, you’re most likely suppressing the urges of sex, and anything sex related. So you might be healed, but since you have gotten into the habit of suppressing sexual impulses, you won’t know you’re healed until you dig them back up again. That’s why, for me, once I fapped my sexual urges were at the top of my brain, and as a result, physiological changes began to follow (which are mentioned below).
After/present day: I don’t like to say I’m fully recovered, because I don’t exactly know the definition of that (for me, anyway). But I have reached my goal: I can easily get an erection just by looking at a hot girl on the street, my libido is through the fucking roof, and I get extremely turned on just by sensual touches by girls. Another thing is that I am turned on ALOT more by just a hot girl on the street, than just a naked girl on my screen, which in my opinion is awesome –> appreciate reality a lot more than fantasy/fake shit.
To the people who are taking longer than usual to heal: Stick with it. This shit works. It was worth everyday of that struggle to be where I am now. Remember, once you’ve recovered, you’re recovered for life. A few months of nothing and a lifelong time of pleasure is 100times better than a lifelong time of limp dick shithousery. After all, if you’re shit ain’t working, there’s no point in chasing the girls.
So after 130 something days, i finally rebooted (you can read my recovery report here!. Obviously, once someone reboots, it’s perfectly fine to resume a healthy masturbating interval, as long as you don’t spiral down back to addiction. If you’ve done the 130 days right, this shouldn’t happen to you because you should have already developed a firm grasp over your urges anyway.
Anywho, i decided that i would fap around every 12-14 days…so approx 2 times a month. Now, for the analysis.
Without porn: for me, it was perfectly normal. I had a great orgasm, spewed alot of shit out of my dick, and felt great afterwards. It really felt like a release from all that horniness. I didn’t experience any depression, fatigue, lethargic, tiredness, etc. I also didn’t have any urge to fap again.
With porn: Now this was a big problem. The orgasm was still awesome, but almost 20 seconds afterwards, i started feeling pretty crap. I suddenly became physically exhausted. Not only that, but my brain was tired as well…i felt like i had just come out of one of my senior exams (that go for 2 hours). I had a nap, and when i woke up, my brain was still not 100%. My thinking was definitely slower, and a bit clouded. It really just felt like a part of my brain decided to drop dead. I only looked at this clip for about 20 seconds as well(just a chick dancing pretty much)..it seems like it doesn’t take much to fuck you up.
That being said, i don’t feel depressed or anything like that. I think it’s because i view this mistake as a reference experience; something that will now remind me to no longer look at porn. After all, you need to experiment to figure out what a healthy masturbation cycle is. Everybody is different. Some can masturbate to porn all day and be perfectly fine, whilst some need to just rely off wet-dreams for their release.
Why^: I’m still not entirely sure why i’m feeling like this, and i would really appreciate any opinions and perspective you guys have to offer. Why i think i’m so mentally exhausted and drained right now is because my brain is no longer used to the huge dopamine rushes that only porn can deliver. What do you guys think?
Last words: Don’t use porn. You don’t need it, and it’s clearly unhealthy for you. It fucks your brain up, and all the benefits you experience from nofap probably won’t come back for another 4-7 days. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Stick to fapping w/o porn if you’re going to do it.