My 90 day post. I am 100% not the same person I was 90 days ago. Not that I am completely someone else, but that I am so polished as a person that you would not mistake me for who I was 90 day’s ago.
This is akin to someone having a lump of dirt with a gem in it. After getting rid of all that dirt I am now just the gem, I was always this gem but nobody would say “that is a gem” they would say “that is a big pile of dirt, I bet on the inside is more dirt.”
- My 30 day post:http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2f6cul/30_days_success/
- my 60 day post: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2ikssd/60_days_sucess/
Every single aspect of my life is better. I won’t go through my life story again since I have already typed that up in the previous posts (please read if you feel like you can relate to me) but essentially I am an 18 year old kid who was addicted to porn for 10 years, yea I started watching porn when I was 8 but I don’t really think I was addicted till middle school.
I am now in college and doing good in my classes. Not the best but that’s because the classes are hard (I got my A.A so I’m doing my B.S classes, I’m a physics major). I shudder to think how my past self would be doing right now. For every B I am getting now I would need to put in triple the amount of time. Brain fog is finally being lifted. It was so heavily in place that I had no idea that I even had brain fog till sometime after day 60.
It’s really hard to describe exactly what it is but I can give a good example. A lot of times when I was trying to quit I would work out quite logically that porn was in no way good for me. I would arrive at a definite answer that I should not look at porn. However most of the time even though I would arrive at this answer I would end up watching porn anyways. The whole time I was thinking “If I only knew definitely that this was bad”.
I would be staring my answer in the face but porn would still be able to win. As if irrationality had more dominion in my head than logic. Now I can clearly see that porn is bad and identify when my head is going to those places. Before even if I would identify it , there was not much I could do. I can put on the brakes now if I understand I am thinking about it and move on to other things.
Brain fog is really abstract however so you can only really identify it when it’s gone. I think the best thing I got from this however is that general life is fun. If you ask me how I’m doing at any time in the day I can give you a positive answer because I am always feeling content or generally happy. My sense of self is strong. I don’t think of myself through other peoples perspectives anymore, I just do things the way I want to now.
Overall I am brimming with life. I attribute this greatly to semen retention, not looking at porn ,and qi gong. My skin is glowing, my eyes are alive and shining, my hair is soft and smooth. One important thing I want to say is that at the end of the day this is just a way of life. Moderation. The whole reason porn is bad is because it’s easy to get addicted to, and once youre’ addicted things start going downhill fast. I can’t look at porn anymore, it just leads to binges.
However I know now just how important moderation is. This had affected a lot of areas in my life. I use drugs in moderation now (weed, mushrooms) instead of before where I would use them by binging on the weekends (just weed, mushrooms are fairly recent). Porn still has a pull but it’s so insignificant compared to before. Before I would be crushed under the weights of the urges and give in. Now it’s like a pull that you simply ignore. I can honestly treat women as friends now instead of just assuming it’s about dating or sex. I really love my family now. I can’t believe I was so blind before but my family truly means something to me now. My meditations have gone onto a whole new level.
Same with my qi gong.After 10 years of using, 2 years of trying to quit, and 90 days of putting everything I’ve learned into use. I’m free. I’m sorry this post isn’t as organized as the last two. But I don’t think I can put how much my life has changed into words. I can only give you a general feel. Stay strong guys, in the beginning when I really needed motivation just about every day, it was success stories that kept me going.
This is the hardes thing I have ever had to do in my life. Don’t think this is a piece of cake and slack off like I did. I hope I can help at least one person with this success. Now my goal is to cultivate samadhi (taoism) and that’s gonna take another 100 days. My advice to anyone who is going through this. .It WILL get better, a fool is anyone who thinks otherwise. Get back up after a failure and make sure it’s your last, repeat when necessary. Keep yourself motivated and NEVER let down your guard
-This 90 day goal is not you going through 90 days, it’s you going through one day several times so stay strong for today
LINK – 90 day’s success
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