Hope everyone had a good Christmas and if you don’t celebrate it, happy holidays!
Mine was good, nice to be with the family again back home from my first semester of college. Only downside is the mistake I made by watching porn at 3 am this morning when I woke up horny and giving in.
But I’m on from that. I got work tomorrow morning and yeah today being a post masturbation day sucked with all those thoughts of a video and the desires running through my head but I stuck through it. But before I sleep I wanted to look up my year on nofap and see how I did.
First things first: nofap was not my main priority this year. I went to prom with a beautiful girl, was talking to her for a while after but us going to school 3000 miles apart would not have been a good idea for a relationship so we didn’t really push that. I also graduated high school, became closer with my friends, started my freshman year of college, survived finals week, made some awesome friends there, and started to get my life picture and my goals and dreams seem to get closer each day.
Next onto my year on nofap. I had 39 total relapses. A little high for my liking but a huge improvement over last year and years before when I’m sure that number was in the 100’s and higher. January I had 4, February 7, March 5, April 0, May 5, June 4, July 4, August 8, September 0, October 0, November 1 and December 1.
I consider this year a success in nofap since I did not use for 2 months. My mistakes in November and December where when I was home on break but I know I can get through it and I want home to be somewhere where I do not masturbate either.
I haven’t used at school yet, one of the benefits of being in a dorm room with roommates I don’t like I guess, spend less time in there and sleep when they’re also sleeping. I’ve never felt tempted to watch porn or Jack off when there is other people in the room, that’s fucked up.
I will get stronger at not using when I’m home and will be able to carry a nice long time away from porn while I’m home next summer.
Thought this was interesting, how did you guys make out this year?
Edit: forgot this. I’m not obsessing over the number of times I use porn to escape. This was just something I found interesting and wanted to see if others also improved over their last year. My main concerns are how I act as a person, whether on a 90 day streak or day 1 all over again. How I approah people and hold conversations. It’s only a number.
INITIAL POST – 8 MONTHS EARLIER
My dependence on porn through the first 18 years of my life has made me into a person I don’t even know. I don’t know my true self, I don’t know real happiness. Real friendship. Real interactions with another person.
I’ve dealt with bouts of depression, still do every once in a while, and those have been what has led me to be the person I am today. I don’t like the person I am. I can be better than that. There’s no reason I can’t be.
I want my friends to see the real me. The girl I’m going to prom with to see how great of a guy she had ask her. I want my parents to know how good of a son I am. No more of this moody depressed little man-bitch relaying on porn for his human interactions.