1- 02 I’m also taking the 2012 Challenge…with a 4 day lead. I spent all of 2011 quitting porn. I gave up many times, relapsed, binged, escalated my porn use. Porn blockers are useless, I’d always find a way around them. It’s a shit experience, I know it for a fact, but you have to keep trying. It’s all about persistence.
I’ve learnt a few important things that will make it easy. Whenever you feel an urge, see or hear something that makes you feel an urge, bite your tongue. (or something equally painful e.g. Rubber band on wrist). Basically, what you’re doing is training your brain that Urges = pain = bad. After doing this for 2 days, your urges are less frequent and weaker. It’s also much more effective and faster at stopping urges than willpower. (I got the idea from yourbrainonporn.com)
Minimize the time you spend on the Internet, video games, tv etc. This will reduce the chances of seeing something that will trigger an urge. Prevention is much better than a cure in this case.
Sleep earlier. This prevents late night PMO sessions and you won’t be tired the next day. (Tiredness WILL make you more likely to relapse).
REWARD, REWARD and REWARD some more! When you make it to day 3, reward yourself. At week 1, reward yourself, week 2, reward yourself. You don’t have to buy anything, just do something you enjoy…within reason (NO PORN). It motivates and keeps you going forward.
Remember what your objective is. I’ve made the mistake of forgetting my goal and relapsed many times. You’ve already written it here which is good. Read it before you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning. When you’re not doing anything, read it. When a strong urge comes, you’ll remember your goal.
DO NOT LOOK AT WOMEN BELOW THE NECK. It only takes a spark to start a fire. Same thing applies here. One look at a pair of boobies can set off a chain reaction to relapse.
Never celebrate by looking at some ‘weak’ porn or by google searching some babes in bikinis. (seriously though…DON’T)
There’s more tips but those will make life a lot easier and will reduce temptations.
1- 04 I’m on day 9 and haven’t had any strong morning wood. No confidence boost yet. I’m a virgin, meaning PMO is the ONLY sexual experience my brain knows and has wired to. I’ve abstained for 1 month on two occasions and I didn’t flatline.
1-07 I’m currently 12 days without PMO, virtually no fantasies (not my thing), no tv and primarily use the internet for going on this site. I noticed in the past that in week 2, I start to notice girls and actually FEEL some attraction towards them. Is that my brain Rewiring? Last Friday, I went out clubbing with my friend and danced with a few girls. I met one girl who was interested in me, but I felt lonely the whole time. I danced with her, this usually boosts my confidence, but I just wasn’t FEELING it. My mood was low. Alcohol didn’t have the effect it usually has on me, I felt sober the whole time. The girl lost interest and danced with my friend instead. I’m 18 and my brain is only wired to porn (started at age 13). During those 5 years, the only sexual encounter I’ve had with girls was kissing.
1-24 When you get to days 20 or above, the urges are different. I start getting physical urges, no porn or anything like that, just an urge to orgasm. They’re the hardest to resist. I almost relapsed yesterday, I resisted it but I had that bad feeling that we all get after relapse for some reason. I fell asleep and I felt better! I’m 30 days without PMO and I haven’t flatlined yet.
2-05 [In reply to a guy who said, “while in work I experienced a random semen discharge. I was not aroused, completely flaccid state while sitting down at my desk felt a strange sensation, didn’t notice it until I went to the bathroom. Quiet an embarrassing situation LOL has something like this happen to anyone else, is this normal? I’m interested to see if this will reoccur after about +2 weeks..Is this a sign that my body is trying to discharge the excess semen produced? “] The discharge is normal around week 2 – 3. It always occurs at week 3 for me. I’m not entirely sure why it happens, but I think it’s cause the tank is full and…over flowing. It will only last for a week. After a week of discharges, watch out for blue balls.
2-06 Doing gentle massaging doesn’t get me up enough even with fantasy…could be the brain Rewiring to the real thing.
2-08 I think the fluid leakage is normal, it’s just my body getting ready for sex. If its clear, then it’s pre-cum. I get it every time I get an erection. I’m happy; it’s a good sign. Maybe the body is telling us “it’s time” (I’m a virgin). I’m 44 days in and my penis, when erect, is still the same as when I was on PMO. it usually gets large around week 4 but it hasn’t happened. I felt like giving up just like you. I even tested with some porn 2 days ago…same result. I get urges when I’m tired and I end up feeling like giving up and relapsing. This may sound cliche, but sleep is VERY important especially during reboot.
2-11 My skin produces less oil. I’m now on day 46 of my reboot. I’m going through insomnia now. Basically, I set my alarm to 8:00am and I wake up at 6:45am. It sucks coz I wake up tired. I’m happy about less oil on my skin but the insomnia is annoying. It’ll probably pass at days 60 – 80. I’m on day 46 and I’m starting to reach a balanced state. I have days where I felt like superman and then days where I felt like life wasn’t worth living. This emotional fluctuation is normal during reboot. The best way to approach this is to get rid of all expectations. Being a virgin and single used to bother me a lot…it doesn’t any more, Im at DAY 48! Im gonna take it easy and let things happen at their own pace. I’ll keep my hands of my dick and my mind on other things.
4-09 I discovered I had libido when I went out to meet women. If you find yourself getting turned on when you hug, touch, or kissing them, you’ve got your libido. That’s how I worked it out.
4-01 I’m on day 98 of my reboot and I can finally say that I have successfully rebooted. I’m going for 100 days and then I’ll stop counting.
During my reboot, I’ve been going out clubbing to dance or make out with girls so I can rewire my brain as much as possible. On day 30, I met a girl who is now my girlfriend and I love her. On Saturday, we had sex. It was my first time. One problem is that I didn’t feel much sensation in my penis. I was fully erect and everything worked, no ED, I had no anxiety, I felt very confident and comfortable with her the whole time….but I didn’t even ejaculate. She gave me oral two times and I still couldn’t ejaculate, let alone feel much sensation. I’m perfectly fine with this because my friends all told me I wouldnt last 10 seconds. 🙂
But the things is, I’m worried about her, because she might not feel like she’s ‘good’ enough. Since I couldn’t ejaculate, I focused all my attention on her and it was great for both of us…..but I want to ejaculate and experience an orgasm while having REAL sex with a REAL woman. She’s had sex before but I don’t know if she’s come across a virgin who couldn’t ejaculate the first time having sex! I went home that night with blue balls!!!
4-19 I’ve completed my reboot. I’ve successfully gone 100 days without Porn, Masturbation and Orgasm. I watched porn on Week 6 four times and I tried masturbating but I didn’t relapse or have an orgasm. I stopped and reminded myself why I’m on this reboot.
I had to make some drastic changes to my lifestyle to make it possible to stop. This is what I did:
-No Internet (only to visit this site)
-No looking at women
-Avoided being Alone in the house
-Kept myself busy at all times (read blogs on this site, played video games)
-Slept early every night
-Went clubbing to try to get some girls (I mostly danced, sometimes I’d get lucky and make with them)
-Exercise (build confidence)
Even after doing all those things. It was still hard in the first month. I had some strong urges. To fight them, I bit the back of my bottom lip. I’m not quite sure how or why it worked, but after a few days, the urges literally became weaker and less frequent.
Initially, I watched and masturbated to porn simply because it felt good. This was when I was 12 years old. As time went on, that changed. I used porn as a way to lift my mood up when I was feeling low. When I was feeling good, I’d use it to celebrate. That began to change as well, I ended up needing to get my fix at least once a day to keep my mood up. I became addicted.
I lost interest in real girls. Of course, I wanted to have a girlfriend and have sex with the hottest girl in school but I just wasn’t attracted to them. Thinking back, If I did get the chance to have sex, I doubt I would’ve been able to get an erection. Consciously, you want them but there’s no drive to get them. Similar to not having an appetite.
I found yourbrainonporn.com in 2010 just before New Years. I didn’t believe I was addicted, so I tried going without porn for two weeks. I lasted a day. From then on, I spent all of 2011 trying to quit. I gave up many times and tried many times. Sometimes I lasted 2 weeks, other times a month and then sometimes I’d last a few hours. I bought an iPad and my porn use escalated. I got into Shemale porn. Any other form of porn just wasn’t enough. In the one year I spent trying to quit porn, I went from straight porn to shemale porn.
…and now, here I am. 18 years old and 115 days free from PMO. I admit, life is different. My brain isn’t clogged up with sexual thoughts. Even little things like being able to look at a girl in the face without having to wrestle your eyes not look at her breasts. The anxiety that I used to feel before doing something is gone, I’m very sure of myself now.
I’m also in my very first relationship. I love and care about her (this is all new to me). We’ve been together for just over a month now and in that time, I’ve learnt a lot about women, relationships, myself and how porn still affects my life.
In terms of ED, yes, I’m cured. I had sex for the first time a few weeks ago, everything went good. Except, for one thing: I didn’t feel any sensation and I didn’t reach orgasm. Right now, I want to gain sensitivity and experience an orgasm. Either than that, there’s no issues really.
Porn affects us all in more ways than we know. It also changes: our beliefs, views and our behavior. I think those 3 things take more than a hundred days to change.
A month ago, I had sex for the first time and I didn’t reach orgasm or feel anything in my penis. Last night, I had sex again with my girlfriend and I couldn’t ejaculate, (vaginal and oral).
She eventually gave me a handjob, and I had to force myself to orgasm. She had to use the ‘death-grip’ and go very fast for a long time while I literally had to concentrate to reach orgasm. When I reached the orgasm, it was weak. The build up was 2 seconds, and the actual orgasm lasted 1 second.
Firstly, the big issue here is the effect it has on my girlfriend. If I keep taking hours to reach orgasm, this can ruin her confidence and she may feel like shes not good enough. I have said this before.
Sure, it’s great to last a long time, but when you’re in a relationship it’s very different. Your partner slowly starts losing confidence in herself because they may feel that they can’t perform well enough.
Secondly, the method that made me reach orgasm. The famous fast death-grip. That’s how I used to masturbate before I stopped PMO. It was the only way for me to orgasm. I needed, and, still need intense stimulation. No oral, or vagina can be THAT intense, it’s unrealistic.
This is my second time having sex. I reached orgasm twice, but with a death-grip handjob and through forcing myself. This may sound weird to others, but there’s a difference between lasting long because you want to, and lasting long because you can’t ejaculate.
For my girlfriend, our relationship and me, I want to cure this. I’ll speak to her about my DE problem. She already knows about my reboot. Some guidelines for me:
-No more handjobs from now on
-I won’t force my orgasms
-I’ll focus on her
-I’ll focus on enjoying the experience
Either than that, I have very strong erections. Even after ejaculating, it stays strong for a long time. It’s larger compared to my PMO days.
In terms of Rewiring, I don’t even know what to say. My DE problem is related to it. I’ll say this though: I have rewired away from porn. The MO part is what I have to work on. I don’t maturbate and I won’t be doing it…I think I’ll have to resort to it so I can regain sensitivity. With orgasms, they all must happen with my girlfriend and without me forcing myself.
100 days cures the Porn part. As for the MO, you have to work on it. Having sex with a real woman helps, but only if it’s done right. You have to make sure you’re not doing the same things you do when watching porn. Look at me for example, I told her to squeeze as hard she can and go really fast. That’s the same method I used when masturbating to porn. It won’t do any good.
I’ll talk to her, and I’ll be patient with this.
5-5 Good news! I don’t have DE anymore. Looking back at it, I don’t think I actually had DE. I was having sex as if I was M-ing to porn. I wasn’t focused on the sensation. This time though, I relaxed completely and focused on my penis and the sensation. It worked well. It’s definitely new to me and I had a good orgasm. All that it takes is to learn HOW to enjoy vaginal sex. It’s very different from masturbating.
For about 3 to 4 days now, before I had sex, I lightly stroked my penis, just running my fingers along the shaft. I focused on the sensation while doing that. I think that helped me to learn how to focus on my penis and on the sensation.
The important things to stop DE
-Relax: your whole body must relax. Every muscle, especially your penis. You have to do it consciously.
-Focus on the sensation: Close your eyes if you have to. Focus on the sensation and feel it. Become aware of the sensation.
-Slow down: Don’t force yourself to orgasm or ejaculate. Enjoy each second of everything. Forcing means you’re not relaxed and you’re not focused on the sensation, but reaching orgasm instead. Focus on the journey, not the destination. You’ll get there eventually.
-Keep going: If you still feel like you’re far from orgasm, you’re not focused because you shouldnt be thinking that. Relax, focus, slow down, keep going and repeat.
I believe that Premature Ejaculation and Delayed Ejaculation is all in the head. DE comes up when you’re not Focused, Relaxed and when you’re trying to Force Orgasms. PE comes up when you’re not slowing down and there’s no body control going on. (I haven’t had PE, that’s just my theory about it. Don’t take it as fact).
Well, that’s the reboot over for me. I’ve reached my goals.
-Stopped watching Porn and Masturbating. (Didn’t have an orgasm for around 124 days until I had sex)
-My DE problem is gone
Time to focus on University now.
BY – infinity