Hello, I’ve always had an addiction to watching porn starting at around age 12. But I’m starting to feel the effects of it much later in my life. (I’m 18 now). Anyways here’s why I blame fapping / porn on killing my mind for the last 6 years.
(This is a timeline; specifically of why addiction has wrecked my mind)
- I was diagnosed as having ADD when I was 12. I would masturbate 4-7 times a day at this age. I blame the low dopamine levels masturbation causes to me actually developing ADD.
- This led to being depressed and being put on anti-depressants around that time.
- The anti-depressants never seemed to work. (I still had no motivation to do anything ever)
- My social skills depleted, I was always depressed and had a lot of anxiety for social situations.
- Age 16, was finally prescribed Vyvanse to “cure” my ADD.
- As a result of the fapping which (I think actually caused) ADD / Anxiety / Depression. I’m now dependent on Vyvanse everyday. (and I’m struggling of porn addiction again)
Here’s the proof of why I blame masturbation: While I finally did NoFap earlier this year (From January – June), those were the first times in years where I ACTUALLY felt living and like an actual person. I was finally able to focus, have a clear mind, and I was not “tired” in general at all. However I’ve been PMO’ing alot the past month (sometimes up to 3 times a day) and I realize I need NoFap, I have no drive whatsoever and it needs to stop.
I’m ready for the challenge. Bring it on.