I’m a 20 year old male. I’ve had a masturbation addiction throughout my childhood and school life. I’ve always struggled with social situations, relationships due to my anxiety and depression. I’ve always been searching for the root cause of my problems for many years leading up onto adolescence. This year in particular has really caused me to reflect, research, and think deeply about attachment to pleasure.
I came across many sites including ‘reuniting.info’, ‘yourbrainonporn’, ‘nofap’ and now ‘yourbrainrebalanced’. From gaining insight and wisdom on the topics of masturbating by watching porn to the point of orgasm has a huge impact on my health. I knew from then on that the key cause to my stress, depression and anxiety was watching porn and masturbating. The science behind it all (dulling the brains dopamine reception, the neuroplasticity of the brain, objectification and fantasizing, etc…) was all burning my brain out leaving me very desensitized to daily life let alone relationships and the social life).
This year (2013) has been the year of change to me. I set a new years revolution to never masturbate again and really stuck to it. Everything was going really well; i was thinking better, learning more efficiently, socializing and going out more often, had more motivation, energy, determination to do well, i was waking up earlier, etc, etc… Everything in my life was better.
This journey was not to last because on my 45th day of no PMO, I relapsed the morning I had my first wet dream. I remember thinking as I woke up to a sticky mess – “Ah fuck it, I had an orgasm in my dream, may as well jack off now”, I then masturbated and felt terrible afterwards. My relapse hit me so much I must of masturbated at least 5 times that day. At the end of the day I was feeling so tired, with no motivation whatsoever with a general depressed mind set on life – I just wanted to sleep. After approx. 2 months of further masturbation, I was on a downward spiral once again.
On the 11th of June (2013), I thought I’d give it another shot. I quit once again, with so much determination in me this time that I can really feel I will pull through and successfully reboot (rewire) my addictive brain pathways that I’ve been using for approx. 10 yrs. It now day 4 of no PMO, and I am having extreme withdrawal but not one thought has knocked my back into my old ways. I’m using my time more efficiently by arming myself with knowledge on the subject, watching Vlog videos of peoples experiences and success stories on Youtube (I recommend) for inspiration. It is a very tough path, but it’s even tougher when you fail.
ONLY A FEW MINUTES OF FEELING GOOD ( PMO) WILL COST YOU IN THE LONG TERM ( STRESS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, ETC). REMEMBER THAT!
NO MATTER HOW TEMPTED YOU ARE, HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO WHACK IT OUT. IMMEDIATELY STOP & REDIRECT YOUR FOCUS ON USEFUL THINGS!
ONLY A FEW MINUTES AFTER YOU ENDURE, TEMPTATION WILL SUBSIDE!
BE RUTHLESS, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE & THIS IS YOUR TIME. DO NOT GIVE IN OR BACK DOWN FROM YOUR COURSE!
KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THIS, YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH WITHIN TO GO BEYOND!
I find that keeping my mind focused on books & videos (motivational/inspirational & full of wisdom on the subject), games (strategic:- chess/checkers/cards), EXERCISE (weights/jogging), get a good sleep, cut out any other addictive activities (drinking/smoking), spend time in nature (meditating/walking), socialize with friends in a healthy environment (go out with them/call them up/text). PRE-OCCUPY the mind with things to rewire the mind to gain its pleasures in healthy alternate ways. Make no time for masturbation and whenever temptation arises, flex your muscles and tell yourself NO. (*RED CROSS* in the mind), and redirect your attention.
My goal is to reach 90 days and then stop counting and continue my masturbation free life without giving masturbation a thought ever again. I really do think the key is to really want to stop, and be ruthless & determined. Nothing ever comes easy. Thank you for reading.
BY – Bozzi
June 13, 2013,