I started PMO at about 12 years old (I’m 20 now). I started off with normal porn, then went to more extreme stuff, and gradually it got to the point where I was ashamed of the porn that I watched (and the constant PMO).
I lost my virginity some months ago, but sex wasn’t as I expected. It didn’t feel that great, and I wasn’t even close to achieving orgasm. At first, I attributed this to performance anxiety/not knowing what I was doing.
Fast forward a couple of months: I got ridiculously sick, to the point where I couldn’t go to work and had to just stay at home and do nothing. I started PMOing about 3-4 times a day (used to be about 1/day) to relieve the symptoms of being sick. I PMO’d so often that I got to the point of having PIED, even with porn. I couldn’t get an erection, even to porn! I had never had problems with erections before (even when making out I get erections). This was the turning point (hearing about death grip being terrible also helped).
So I made an account here, and started my nofap journey. I decided that I would welcome fooling around with girls, but I was to never do anything alone (no porn, orgasm, edging, fapping, etc.). The first week was actually not too bad. I was in a slight flatline from the PIED that I had. The second week, however, is when the urges started kicking in. I usually only fap when I’m bored, only occasionally out of hornyness. By keeping my mind on other things, keeping myself busy, working out, playing guitar, whatever, I was able to overcome these urges and boredom. There were only a few legitimate times where I was extremely horny and I had to force myself not to fap. I reminded myself of my goals (fixing my Delayed Ejaculation (DE) and becoming better socially) and was able to push through. Keeping yourself distracted and motivated is the number one way to not fap! If you don’t have the time or energy to fap, you won’t.
The benefits of nofap have been great: I am no longer anxious around people. I have a lot of confidence. I am no longer ashamed of my secret porn habits. Talking to people is much easier (and much more interesting), including girls. I would consider myself very introverted before nofap, but now I’m not so sure. I love interacting with people, whereas before I just used porn for the same effect. I have way more free time as well, and I’m not constantly wondering when I’ll be alone so I can fap.
On my journey I’ve had sex with three different girls. Unfortunately, I have not been able to achieve orgasm from sex any single time. The last time I had sex, on day 64, the girl was not able to last too long, which gave me blue balls (for the first time in my life). Since then, I’ve been in an extremely long flatline. While I obviously find girls still attractive, I haven’t gotten horny since then. I’m hoping this is a good thing and that my brain is “rebooting”.
Overall, starting nofap is one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. I’m proud to say that I made it to 90 days on my first try, but only because of this great community. I really wish I knew about this movement back in middle school or even high school. Developing a death grip really fucked me up.
TL;DR: Socially anxious, wasted lots of time, and used deathgrip before nofap, now socially confident and having the best time of my life. Still have DE, but it seems to be getting better.
LINK – 90 Day Report!