After having a beautiful girlfriend for the past 5 months and being porn and masturbation free for the past 6 months, I was finally able to get hard enough to actually have sex with her just a couple days ago.
I just wanted to let all of you who may have Porn-Induced erectile dysfunction know that it will get better, even if it seems like it will take forever. Stay in there. Stay porn free and recover.
Thanks NoFap! Good luck 🙂
QUESTION: I just looked through some of your other posts and was wondering how your libido was doing.
ANSWER: I haven’t had a huge increase in libido. I really only get turned on if I’m touching her or we’re very close, but I don’t find myself randomly horny very often. Additionally seeing a very attractive girl doesn’t turn me on either. I do feel as if I notice girls more than I did six months ago for sure, but it’s still not very much. With time I’m sure my libido will come back to me. Also if you’re curious, I did go to a urologist and check to see if all my hormone levels were correct and I was perfectly fine in that regard, so my lack of libido isn’t due to low testosterone or anything.
A few months earlier he tells his story:
Haha, you have just described me. We are in a very similar place, as I am 20 years old, have PMOd since middle school, and recently binged like crazy after a breakup 6 months ago, and have pretty severe porn induced erectile dysfunction.
The reason you got hard when you were just cuddling and kissing was because there was absolutely no pressure. You knew you had to go somewhere and that nothing could happen so you naturally were relaxed and were not focused on initiating, performing, getting hard, and all performance anxiety related things. Then later when you were expected to perform, to initiate, you were too focused on these things to get into the passion of the moment and relax to achieve your erection.
Over this past summer I’ve had the opportunity to spend two weekends a month apart with a girl. The first night I did not get hard, both times! Mind you I was after 90 days during this second weekend. Then in the middle of the night, when we both awaken with our horniness and we’re both tired/don’t care, I can achieve a semi-hard erection. The second night I already know that I can’t get hard, and she knows it too, so there’s less pressure to perform and since I’ve already accepted that, I usually do end up achieving my semi-erection. I notice that the longer I spend with her, the better my erections get. But the first time, I always am dead. And it’s all performance anxiety, no matter how hard I try to get rid of it, it’s there. My expectations of myself to perform, to initiate, to beat my ED, all cause my ED to come back. That’s just how it is, and that’s what’s happening to you.
My suggestions are to: 1) accept whatever happens without guilt 2) talk with your partner about it.
I think if you accept that you won’t get hard the first night, because you probably won’t, then you’ll be more happy and enjoy yourself better regardless of your ED. It’s a tough task, and I know how difficult it is to deal with the feeling of failing at achieving an erection. It’s embarrassing, pathetic, and emasculating. But you can’t let it own you. There’s so much else you can do and enjoy with your partner that doesn’t require your dick that you can focus on until your ED gets better. For example, I gave my girl oral and she said that I made her orgasm for the first time in her entire life. Imagine if I all I did was have sex and didn’t do that? Play around and focus on all the other aspects of intimate relations.
Also, you really have to be honest with the girl. Have you told your partner that you suffer from Porn induced ED, are taking part in this challenge, and that you put performance anxiety on yourself so it’s even harder to get an erection? It’s hard to say, and it’s a little embarrassing, but if you explain yourself to her then you can both come to terms with what is going on and a huge amount of pressure will be lifted from your shoulders. I cannot stress enough how important this communication is in order to feel relaxed and achieve your erection.
Also I still can’t get a rock hard erection, so accept that this will take some time. I got hard enough to have sex last time, which was 3 and a half months in, but it was just semi-hard and I chose not to try.
If you want to talk about any of your experiences in more detail or whatever, especially since we’re in such a similar place, send me a message. Good luck man.