My fellow fapstronauts, I can hardly believe that the time has come for my 90-day report. My NoFap journey, which began nearly a year ago (on September 26, 2011) has finally brought me to this major milestone, and I have no intention of ever going back to PMO. In the hopes of providing some motivation to those struggling with their inner fap demons, I’ll share some details of and thoughts about the last 90 days. To avoid repeating myself, I will link to both the “major” and “minor” posts I’ve contributed in this period. Interested individuals can peruse those at their leisure; everyone else can scroll down past the links and keep reading.
- Day 7 – returning to NoFap, with a girlfriend, after a long hiatus
- Day 10 – aborted wet dream, then an actual one
- Day 21 – first three week milestone ever
- Day 23 – PIV virginity lost
- Day 49 – (massive) wet dream
- Day 52 – reflecting on the meaning of success
- Day 63 – girlfriend cravings
- Day 65 – anger
- Day 66 – wet dream (after a disappointment)
- Day 67 – beginning two weeks of hard mode
- Day 78 – exercise, Kegels, and relationship musings
- Day 80 – dealing with out of control emotions
- Day 87 – wet dream (after a hurried, incomplete intimate encounter)
From the deluge of posts I’ve submitted to /r/nofap over the last three months, it may be obvious that I have been using this subreddit to journal my thoughts and feelings. I’ve been on quite the emotional rollercoaster during these 90 days, and I’ve experienced a significant number of firsts in my life.
As I said in my Day 7 post, this whole NoFap enterprise was catalyzed by the entrance of a wonderful lady into my life. Prior to dating her, I had struggled for many months with NoFap and had pretty much resigned myself to regular fapping, albeit sans porn – from the very beginning, YBOP was a powerful motivator for the elimination of porn viewing. I started running daily on Day 19 and have continued that activity ever since, motivated by my girlfriend’s history as a track runner. On Day 36 I finally threw out all the sex toys I had collected over the last two years, with my girlfriend there to provide moral support.
Since the start of my relationship, 7 days prior to my current NoFap streak, I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions, from extreme joy to severe gloominess and anxiety. I suppose this shouldn’t have come as a surprise, since both I and my girlfriend have troubled personal histories (albeit in different ways). Despite the occasional rough spots, I believe that my relationship has changed my life for the better, and now things seem to finally be stabilizing – we’ve moved to an appointment system in order to balance my need to see her often with her need for space, and so far it seems to be working well. Having had our last appointment yesterday, we will meet again on Friday.
To return to the topic of NoFap, I’ve mentioned numerous times (primarily in comments) that I view fapping and porn to constitute cheating on my girlfriend, which is something I would never do (out of love and respect for her, as well as out of respect for myself and my personal integrity). Furthermore, I’ve come to be repulsed by the very idea of porn, as well as by the pathetic nature of the self-pleasuring act. For these reasons, I have had virtually zero urges to fap or watch porn in the last 90 days.
The effects of NoFap that I’ve noticed are mostly in line with what others have noted: increased motivation, increased confidence, increased social facility, better eye contact, a general DGAF attitude, an increased ability to function on little sleep, and probably a bunch of other things. One interesting thing I noticed is that my fear of certain insects, particularly bees and wasps, has pretty much vanished. I suppose this falls under the “DGAF attitude” category, but I thought it was worth mentioning separately. I’m also strongly inclined to chalk up my (apparently quite good) sexual performance to NoFap, though of course I don’t know for sure, since I was a virgin prior to Day 23 of my current streak. I do suspect that, had I not given up porn last September, I probably would have had decreased libido and ED issues, but again I can’t know this for sure given the way things turned out. In any case, NoFap has been a positive change in my life.
Like many others here, I wish I had found and committed to NoFap a lot sooner than I did, but nonetheless I’m glad that at least now the fog has been lifted and I can see fapping and porn-watching for what they are: detrimental activities that provide few benefits but come with many negative effects. As I’ve said before, I don’t plan on doing these things ever again. Of course, I understand the danger of making such absolute and sweeping statements, but at the very least this is how I feel at the present moment.
To everyone reading this, thank you for putting up with my 90-day rant, and keep your spirits high as you continue your NoFap journeys – through your efforts you are already rising above the masses of porn and fap-addicted men and women out there who are unaware of the dangers of these activities and of the profound damage they cause to the brain’s reward circuit and neural pathways.
LINK TO POST – [Day 90 NoFap / Day 360 NoPorn] – Progress Report