One of my favourite ways to avoid PMO was to read all the success stories on the YBOP website.
Kinda long but a year is a long time!:
Age 20 – 365 Days
I’m 21, and during exams last year, I decided porn would no longer be part of my life.
When I tried writing my success story at 3 months, it was terrible. I hadn’t accomplished anything. There had been few life changes. I had started a lot of things, but I hadn’t had any success, aside from avoiding PMO. When I really noticed changes was when I went back to school in September. Here is my 12 month story.
My life has been much different. Last school year, I was getting pretty depressed. I used to wake up in the morning with a great feeling of shame. Shame that I wasn’t done my degree yet. Shame that I wasn’t in med school yet. Shame that I was still poor. I used to drink 3-8 coffees a day to force myself to be productive, regularly skipping breakfast and lunch. I used to go to the gym 4-5 days a week, but last year I only found time to go once or twice. From not eating or exercising enough, I started to lose weight. I had an immature girlfriend who always complained.
In August (3 months after P), I switched from my university to a technical program. What I learn in school is now very practical. I learn by doing in a person-to-person environment instead of studying by myself for hours. I don`t hate myself anymore. I feel like I am no longer waiting for my life to start “once I get through med school”. I live everyday to its fullest now. I’ve wanted to play piano for years, but my parents always said we didn’t have space for a piano (we really don’t have space, they are pretty enormous). I always told myself “one day” I would get one. In August I bought an electric keyboard. It’s much smaller than a piano but it’s good enough for me. Doing something that was purely for my happiness was a very new experience and gave me the self-confidence to continue with my no-PMO adventure.
Initially, I had a lot of trouble keeping my mind off PMO. I would go on successively longer and longer streaks of no-M, but I was edging the whole time, and inevitably I would orgasm, wallow in self-pity, and then try another streak. The streaks started as 3 days counting as a success, to eventually 3 weeks being a benchmark of a “great streak”. I was doing pretty good without Porn. I kept track of everything on my calendar. As long as my masturbation frequency was steadily going down (faps/month), I was excited to make the streaks as long as possible to bring it down faster.
But I was confused a bit, because some people could quit PMO in ONE SHOT. Just *poof*, 90 days, willpower, done.
In September, I gave myself a 2-drink limit for drinking. When I first started my two-drink limit, I was never satisfied. I was used to drinking steady for 4 hours and going to bed wasted. Now, on a drinking night, I only have 1 or 2 standard drinks. I have 1 or 2 drinking nights a weekend. I’ve freed up a lot of time by doing this, and I enjoy drinking a lot more now because it’s about conversation, not about getting fucked up and escaping reality. Changing this negative behaviour has been a big part of making my life better.
Another non-PMO life change was quitting the internet. During my last year of high school and my first year of university, I spent a ridiculous amount of time on the internet. It was entertaining, but I could’ve put that time and interest into something better. When I first tried, I used a stopwatch website to time my internet use, and only allowed myself an hour a day. That was initially effective but at some point I didn’t want to go on at all. My instinct when I see weakness is to go for the kill, so when I saw my habit breaking down I scaled it back even more. I created “Internet Sunday”, where I could only go on the internet on Sunday. I quickly realized how little I needed the internet on a day-to-day basis. Going online once a week to check my work schedule and pay bills/do online banking was perfect, and after that I would have an hour to check blogs or whatever I wanted to do recreationally. I would usually do my banking at home and then bring my laptop to a cafe or one of my friends’ houses for the hour. With the school year, I used my computer to type up my notes but I would disconnect from the local network.
The point of quitting the internet was because I noticed almost all of my P relapses occurred after spending time on the internet and “accidentally” seeing triggering images or text. I put accidentally in air quotes because it is almost guaranteed that unless you deliberately avoid most sites and focus on a select few you know are safe, you are going to run into triggers on the internet. Drinking was also a major trigger, not when I was drunk, but when I was hungover the next morning. Typically I would ease a hangover by having a couple coffees, PMO, and smoking marijuana.
After seven months without P, not having any success with women (yet), having a 2 drink limit, and running out of savings, I started getting really stressed.. It got worse and worse. I was at school standing in line to get a sandwich one day and out of nowhere I had insane heart palpitations and felt ice cold. My legs started shaking and I had to sit down. I had no idea what was happening so I called my Step-dad and he gave me a ride to the hospital. They said they didn’t know what it was but it probably wasn’t a big deal. It happened again a week later on a Friday evening, so I just went to the clinic. The doctor said it was just a panic attack, so I shouldn’t have too much caffeine and work on my stress. I quit coffee and energy drinks that day and switched to green tea and white tea.
-I’ve mentioned in casual conversation for over two years that I’ve been “thinking about doing a boxing class”. In January I finally signed up for one. Because I’m no longer obsessed with my GPA, I actually have time to try new things that I enjoy. My cooking has gotten much better. I bought myself new clothes which I’m happy to wear, instead of just wearing whatever was in my closet. I’ve read 4 or 5 books on game, and had been doing a lot of approaches until the past month or so. I got 3 makeouts, a blowjob, a handjob, and another blowjob. I did a lot of approaches and got a lot of numbers, but phone numbers do not equal dates or sex. I grew as an individual because I forced myself into new situations. My game experience was cut short when the second blowjob (two different girls, about a month and a half apart) led to a casual relationship.
I got some peace of mind when my game got better and I had some success with women. Eventually |I got used to the 2 drink limit. I still have a balance on my credit card at 365 days but I paid my tuition in full, and my credit card balance has been shrinking every month. It wasn’t until month 11 when I started having regular orgasms with my now girlfriend that my stress disappeared.
Two months ago, I was promoted at my job of three years. I am on track for another promotion this summer. I have also started bartending two nights a week. I did a 40 hours online course during Christmas break, to be qualified for a third job. I also had to write an exam, which I did very well on. Last week I did an interview for the third job, but when they described the hours, I reminded them I was in school. They asked if that was a problem and I said “Unfortunately it is, but I will reapply when I graduate.” Right when this semester ends I’m graduating and am also required to leave town for 3 months for my first job. So it would be a good idea to wait. But the point is….I’m living life to the fullest. I am taking control of every opportunity life reveals to me.
If I could boil down what I learned this year into one phrase it is…LIFE IS NOT A PERFECT PROCESS! Yeah it’s been my first adult year without P or M, but I spent ten of those months not getting laid, could barely pay for school, quit 4 other things in the process and had two panic attacks. Anything worth doing is hard. Anything worth doing will make you want to quit. I accomplished a lot this year, but many times I thought it was all going to come crashing down around me. Until I actually accomplished it, I never thought I could do it. It doesn’t matter how messed up one week, or one month is. Just think about the day you’re currently in, and SEIZE IT. Do everything you can to get what you want. Make the sacrifices.
LINK – TrickyTrev – 365 Days