Wow it’s hard to believe that its been a year since I last watched any pornography. Its been a rough 7 year journey but I finally made it. Let me tell you my story with this addiction.
The first time that i ever watched porn was way back in 2004 when I was 12 years old. My friend played his brother porn DVD on TV for like 15 second before he took it off. I didn’t feel anything afterwards and went on with my day. But 2 years later in November of 2006 when I was a 9th grade in high school one of my friends showed me porn on his PSP and for some dumb reason I thought to myself that I should watch some porn when I get home from school. As soon as I got home I went onto the computer and Google searched for some porn and while I was watching I started masturbating to it and that I was the first time I ever masturbated in my life.
After I came in my pants I felt weird and then after that I started to PMO to porn almost everyday after school when my parents were not home. This escalated to me even masturbating to anime porn “Ya I was a sick fuck looking for that dopamine rush”, shemale porn, and violent porn. I eventually stopped watching Shemale porn, and violent porn as that shit would would gross me the fuck out when I was watching it. I first started see the effect that porn had on me when I started getting really shy and nervous around people especially girls. At the time I was always depressed because I was getting bullied at high school and that made my PMO addiction even worse because I would PMO when I felt mad, stressed or depressed.
It wasn’t until 2010 when I found out from a Google search what porn addiction was and its effects it had on my brain and it was at that point that I wanted to quit watching porn but it was easier said then done. I kept relapsing after two to four days without PMO. So I decided to get a better understanding of what that addiction was and its effects on the brain. So found a website called feedtherightwolf it showed me what the porn addiction cycle was and how to deal with urges to watch porn. It helped me a little because at that point I was only PMOing twice a week which was an improvement where I was at before.
In 2012 I managed to stay away from porn for almost two months but I relapsed and kept doing it twice a week until last year. Last year was a breaking point for me when I started crying after I PMOed to some anime porn and I said to myself that this was it and that I will never do this again because I am hurting myself by wasting my time doing this. So I made steps to make sure I won’t be getting any triggers to watch porn.
The first couple of weeks of my reboot was tough because I was suffering from a lot of withdraw symptoms like getting depressed for no reason, getting angry for no reason, and feeling a sense of emptiness in my life. But after 2 months I stopped having those feelings and started to feel normal again.
Fast-forward to today I am now enjoying life more then I did before. I no longer get nervous when I am around people especially girls, and I feel more happy then I ever did back in my PMO days.
Reading this post by underdog http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0 really inspired me to change some things in my life for the better and I highly recommend anybody on this site who is rebooting to check it out.
Well I would to thank feedtherightwolf, yourbrainonporn, and this site for helping me overcome this addiction and I hope that everyone else on this site will overcome this addiction as well.
LINK – One year without porn