So, today it is 90 days since I started my second serious attempt at this. I can’t say it’s been super easy, but it hasn’t been super hard either. I started the challenge in part to cure a few cases of DE I’d been experiencing with my (then) girlfriend, and in part because it seemed like a good way to test my willpower.
I had no intention of stopping for good, as I never considered PMO a real problem for me. Now, however, I feel indifferent about the whole thing. There are times when I’m bored and I feel like doing som PMO, but overall it doesn’t really have the same allure anymore.
So, what effects have I experienced?
- First of all, my DE is cured. Like, really. I could last for hours without coming before, and now it’s a matter of 10-20 minutes (sober). On the other hand, I could easily go again after a few minutes rest.
- More success with the ladies. Let’s just say that I’ve been with more women in the last three months than I’d been with in my whole life before. This is not only due to NoFap, but probably in great deal to that I devoted the energy I got from NoFap into studying seduction (Seddit is a good place to start).
- Better with eye contact. I used to have problems maintaining eye contact with someone. Nowadays it’s very rare that I’m the first to turn my gaze away. It helps A LOT in social interactions.
- Appreciation of the little things. I can stop to just appreciate the sensation of breathing or watching nature in a way that I never really did before. I guess this is due to the rewiring-process.
- Emotional instability. I feel genuine happiness a lot more nowadays, but my mood is also less stable. Sometimes I get really down for no apparent reason. I guess this is also due to the rewiring, my feelings aren’t as numbed down as they were before.
- Great social need. I used to be the kind of person who didn’t mind spending a weekend in front of the computer. Now, if I stay in for more than a day, I’ll get incredibly restless and even start to feel borderline-depressed. I really loathe being alone.
- Self-improvement. I’ve spent countless hours on self-improvement, everything from learning seduction and working out to honing skills you may have use for in everyday situations (like shuffling cards with skill). I feel like I have to make progress all the time, to improve my situation. While this is a good thing, at times it makes me incredibly restless and makes it hard to relax.
There’s a few of the things that come to mind. For those of you struggling not to relapse, my best tips is to stay busy, to challenge yourself to use your new-found energy to improve yourselves as persons rather than to fap and to devote your energy to real interaction with real people. Also, set up small goals for yourself. Like if you know there’s gonna be a party or some kind of social happening next weekend, promise yourself that you will abstain from PMO and save your energy and confidence for the party/happening. It will increase the chance of you finding a real girl drastically.
I’ve come a along way since starting this journey. Maybe I’ll relapse some weekend when all my friends refuse to go out and I’m left sitting in front of the computer all by myself. I’ll never regret starting this journey though, and I’m never going back to binging. Abstaining from PMO gives me an edge above practically everyone else, and not to exploit this gift would be foolish.
Thanks for all the help and inspiration I’ve gotten from all of your stories and reports! Feel free to ask any questions!