I am 22 year old virgin. I was addicted to fapping for around 12 years of my life. I fapped almost every day, once or twice, sometimes even more, fantasizing or watching porn. After all these years, i think it just made me feel better when I had some problems. I was very shy.
I never had a girlfriend. I didn’t know how to talk to them except being just nice.
Then, I met my actual girlfriend in college. It was the first time in my life when I fapped less. But, guess what PMO addiction gave me? Yes, you are right! I suffer ED and PE. It is impossible to me to have sex with my girlfriend. Every time something went wrong and i was totally frustrated. I felt very ashamed but I told her about my addiction and at first she was a bit shocked, but then she gave me her support and she totally understood it.
But our relationship wasn’t so good. We argued a lot, and there were not a lot of intimacy. So, I started fapping again. I replaced fantasizing and watching porn during fapping with online sex chats etc. It was soooo bad but I wasn’t strong enough to stop that. I was looking for this to fill the void in our relationship. But then i said STOP.
It was a year ago. I was surfing on the internet and I have found an article about addiction to PMO. It mentioned an “online community for people addicted to masturbation called NoFap”. I knew it’s the perfect place for me. I also started PornFree, to stay away from porn and sex chats.
I had my ups and downs, returns of my PMO addiction, shame because of losing my streaks, but finally, a year after joining NoFap community, I reached 100 days. It was a year full of relapses and pain. But I finally made it 100 days.
- my erections are harder,
- I had first wet dreams in my life,
- a few days ago, I had a first morning wood since many many years,
- I feel more confident,
- I started to like myself,
- I feel better: less brain fog, i am more energized, more aware, my voice is deeper, my skin is clearer
- found my first job ever,
- sleep better,
- my relationship has improved
My advices to you:
- Start doing martial arts – I was working out on a gym for a few years, but I didn’t really have 100% of myself. After some time, I felt bored every time I was on the gym and during workout I was thinking only about going home. So, last year I decided to try something else and start Thai Boxing. I was really afraid, but without /r/NoFap, I would never get out of my comfort zone. I overcame my fear and went to first training. And guess what? I loved it! Since I started doing martial arts (5 months ago), I fapped only once – and it was my last relapse. Martial arts teached me, that getting hit is nothing scary. Just as life, if it hits you really hard, you move on. It helped me to be in better shape, more concentrated and more confident. Really, try this!
- Read “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by dr. Robert Glover – this book really describes me, and it helped me a lot to change some things about myself! If you are this “nice guy”, I really recommend you to read this book! Also, read other self-improvement books or websites, it will help you to know yourself and change into a better person.
- do more things just for yourself – learn, spend time looking for new hobbies, stay busy. I have much free time since i stopped PMO, so I started learning programming.
- Create good habits in your life – it will help you be more disciplined
- Read /r/NoFap!
- Get out of your comfort zone – do things you are afraid of!!!!
Don’t forget that recovering from PMO addiction is a long process. After 100 days, I still don’t feel rebooted. Stay patient, and stay strong! That’s the key to success.
UPDATE – 6 months free
You can read my background story in my previous report:
So, what changed since my last report?
- I got promoted at work
- I am more motivated and active than i ever was
- When i was fapping, i had strong headaches very often, now they are almost gone
- Started to think about running my own business
- I don’t have such mood swings as I used to have
- My social skills improved
- I am more honest person, when something is bothering me, I am not afraid anymore to tell about my feelings and I am not trying to do everything just to not upset someone. I know I have some flaws and i am not hiding them anymore.
- I have better relationships with people
- Started noticing and enjoying small things
How did I achieve it?
- Learned setting goals for myself – achieving a goal is one of the best feelings in the world, but it need some discipline
- Sports – still doing martial arts, which is a huge boost of confidence, also running, every time i go for a run i determine myself a distance, and I don’t stop running until I reach it. A man is born on training.
- Hard work – I would never get promoted at work if I haven’t spend much time learning
- Got interested in psychology, read a lot of books and articles about self-improvement
- Started meditating, but I am still newbie on this
I still have many things to improve in my life, but I am happy that I changed so much. Without NoFap, it would be impossible. I still don’t have regular morning wood and i suffer PE but that’s not the most important for me. I know there will be a day when i will be cured not only mentally, but also physically.
Stay strong! It’s worth it. But don’t forget NoFap is just a tool, you won’t improve your life if you won’t take some actions to change.