In sum, I am happier, less depressed, less anxious (actually suffer from both of these in my family history), more focused, brighter outlook on life, etc. You read one update, you read em all.
I feel so content that there isn’t a disconnect anymore between who I am in public and who I am in private. I feel much less perverted. I feel so in control of myself. Don’t get me wrong, the first few weeks, it was hard to channel this energy and resist talking sexually with every girl around me. I’ve been with a good amount of girls who I still talk to regularly, so it is easy to fall into sexting. I have a better grip on that now. Last night I was chatting with someone I’ve had great sex with numerous times and I kept feeling the urge to bring up past stuff, and I know that she would have gone with it, but I thought to myself “don’t verbally have sex with her.” I’m not against having sex during this journey, but clearly I’m looking for something different and I don’t want to fall into old habits.
I can read books in a day or two now. I’ve never had that amount of focus ever. I’ve always needed to take breaks. Usually go to the computer if only to go on Facebook but sometimes porn. I think this happens because the computer is our girlfriend since it gives us sex and our brain wants to spend time with this entity.
I can wake up much easier. I think that is actually the depression going away.
I joined reddit to post about my one month nofap. I quickly started to explore, naturally, and fell upon nsfw_gif which I told myself wasn’t really porn. That was so damaging. I never relapsed, but spent too much time watching gifs and completely reconsidered nofap. I’m so glad that I conquered that. I can say that I am 10 days gif free. This makes nofap so much easier because I am not horny all the time.
The gesture of fapping simply seems weird now. It’s incredible to analyze the last 60 days and think how normal fapping was before this and how odd it seems now. I feel powerful and proud.
No sex in this time, or even kissing for that matter. I’m a good looking guy, and I miss intimacy, but I am glad to experience this level of abstinence. I think that it has matured me in ways that I have never experienced before.
Good luck everyone.
LINK – 60 Days
UPDATE (DAY 95)
So about day 70 I got a fantastic girlfriend. At times, when we first began to fool around, I would experience pe. However, I now feel like that is under control. Nofap has allowed me to enjoy sex much more. I am never going back to fapping.
LINK – hard mode to easy mode (gf)