Age 22 – More ambition & energy, new hobbies, perception of women no longer distorted

I’ve been in high anticipation for this day as if it is some kind of birthday. Although I have reached 90 days (for the first time) I would just like to point out that I have been a member of this subreddit for the last 8 months.

Why did I get started with NoFap? I moved to Amsterdam from England in August 2012 to begin studies. I was excited for the new start and way of life (as any young man would be beginning their new life in a city as thrilling as Amsterdam). Anyway after my first academic year I had failed 4 of my 6 modules and knew that something was in need of changing. I think the stress from this caused me to gain quite a lot of weight, I returned home to England at christmas having gone from 82Kg to 95Kg. In hindsight I should not have had to look at my weight gain and falling grades as a problem, the fact that I was going to the bathroom during lectures to masterbate was probably cause enough for concern.

What I found difficult I quickly learned that a lot of the struggle with NoFap is very much in your own hands (no pun intended). So long as I made daily check ins to this sub reddit and kept away from my usual triggers I’d be fine. For me my biggest triggers were lying awake in bed and being alone in my room with the door locked. In my early days a combination of these triggers often resulted in me breaking my streak. Sometimes I was going to quite extreme lengths to prevent myself from fapping – I would google image search pictures of infected genitalia and go out into the cold wearing very little clothing to try and reduce my urges. So often I’d fall victim to my own complacency, just lying on my bed with my computer open telling myself “Oh GreenMarlin, you are doing fine with this NoFap thing. You deserve to take a look at a bit of softcore, why don’t you just take of your pants and say hello to junior. Yeah why not a bit of edging too” then the enevitable happens and I break my streak. Flatlines felt completely alien to me but I just followed the advice here on /r/NoFap and didn’t panic.

How has NoFap helped me? Immediate benefits are seen straight away, a little extra energy even after the first day I started. After the first week I started to gain a weird sense of ambition. I went to a kickboxing class and decided to spar with the best boxers there. This is a very weird contrast in activities but I have also started to knit. Christmas this year saw me knitting a lot of scarfs as presents. It is interesting how abandoning my main hobby of masturbation encouraged me to find different ways to captivate myself. After a month I noticed the added benefit of having so much nore free time as I was not spending a Friday or saturday night masterbating 3 or 4 times. I would get out and experience the beautiful country of the Netherlands. After abstaining from NoFap for almost a year now the biggest advantage I see is that I am no longer so cynical about everything. I am starting to have a far more optimistic outlook on life. I’ve also returned to a healthier 85Kg.

Women I had such a distorted expectaion of women. I had never had a girlfriend and in my whole life I’d had sexual contact on just 3 occassions. I was so used to jerking it to porn that I had a crazy standard as to how a women should act. I found myself thinking ridiculous things like “I never want to find a girl and get married, so long as I have porn and cable TV I’ll end up happy” Damn I was crazy back then.

In January I decided to take an impromptu stroll to my local bar where I met this incredibly beautiful Romanian/Israeli girl who just happenend to be sitting by herself waiting for her friend to get off the phone. We hit it off and have been dating since. I am proud to call her my girlfriend and next weekend I am taking her to England to show her around the town I grew up. That’s the great thing about NoFap because I can not sit in and masterbate I have to go out and do other things like meet people. Do not get me wrong I am not saying that my girlfriend is just some tool to masterbate with, she and I really connect with each other on a deep emotional level and I get so much pleasure out of her sharing her interests with me.

Epilogue One thing I have learned from this subreddit is that NoFap should not be used as a silver bullet to all of life’s problems, secondly all of your achievements should not be owed directly to NoFap. Yes, it may potentially help but ultimately you are the one whom is responsible for your own success. My voyage is not complete, I want to be a fapstronaut for life.

Lastly I want to finish with a quote from a popular post I read here. I am afraid that I can not find the original poster and I can not claim this to be my own but I think it sums up my struggle perfectly. Nobody is ever found on their deathbed saying:

“I wish I had watched more porn.”

LINK – 90 days the voyage so far

by GreenMarlin1529