I’m a 22 year old male on my current longest streak (29 days) and thought I would share with you the list of positive changes I can see in myself, along with a word of advice.
First of all, I have been PMOing since I was perhaps 13 or 14. I have also had an active sex life since then too. Despite a few episodes of what I presume to have been PIED in my teens, I never had that many issues when it came to sex or social interaction. My main problem with PMO was how it killed all my productivity, and put in me in a huge brain fog for the whole day, often leading to more PMO. This was becoming a huge issue for me. Hours that should be spent working or socialising were instead spent in bed lazily clicking P links and aimlessly browsing.
So one month ago I decided to stop, I put a K9 blocker on absolutely everything that could perhaps trigger me. The first few days were unbearably hard, with the chimp in my brain rationalising that I was only a few days in and a reset wouldn’t be that detrimental to my progress but what helped me was that I recognised this thought behaviour and did my best to understand it.
I work as DJ so most nights a week I am performing, and as a result being sociable isn’t a choice. Since ditching P and M, and only allowing myself to O from engaging in relations with girls I meet, I can’t explain how different things have been. I see guys on here with 90 day plus streaks and you don’t know how much admiration I have for that, you guys rock and one day I will join you. Getting rid of O entirely (soft-mode I believe) wasn’t a viable option, I meet a lot of girls through both my work and social circle, however since quitting the P, for the first time in absolutely years I am showing an interest in these girls beyond their bodies, in fact I don’t even fear the idea of becoming exclusive with someone. I now no longer look for the most beautiful girl in the room, but the most interesting, the most intriguing, I’m slowly being pulled out of my shallow shell. That is not to mention the huge work drive I gained almost immediately after stopping. I’m up at 6am every day, I’m powering through my work all day, lifting better than ever at the gym and spending almost all day, every day engaging in social activities and being around people.
One thing that has been killing me though is the ‘chaser effect’, that is, the huge urges you get the, in my case, the 12-24 hours after O. I’d tried a few streaks off PMO in the past and this had always been my downfall, but I believe the way you get past this is recognising the signs. I now make sure that every time I have an O, I follow it up by a busy day of being out of the house and being around people, as opposed to lying in my bed hungover and aimlessly browsing the internet, and so far it has worked a treat. I see the urges from a mile away, but instead of being scared of them, I welcome them. I can see what my little brain chimp is trying to do. I believe this journey would maybe be easier if I was going full PMO and avoiding the chaser effect, but that’s my useful tip for others like me. Since stopping, I look at myself from far away, and I’m the guy I want to be, the guy I’ve been at times in the past. Proactive, social, energetic, confident – all my friends and the people I work with have noticed a difference in me too, I just grin and say I don’t know what they’re talking about 😉
Good luck brothers!!
Thread – NoFap, just O.