This streak of 210 days was the best time of my life. I made so many new friends, kicked cigarettes to the curb, made my mother proud of me :-), got laid numerous times, and found an inner peace that I never knew existed. Ladies and gentlemen I became a MAN.
It was not easy making it that far. There were numerous times that I felt like giving in due to depression, anxiety, flatlined etc, but I stayed strong and managed to last. I became a better version of myself. A true pure version of myself.
Something that helped me keep pushing is when I was early in this streak, I was chilling at a party with some friends when some drunk girls came in. She said something that stuck with me.. She said I know if you can **** me or not. That hit me hard because number 1 she was right. Porn caused me to suffer from embarrassing ED, and it seems some females are able to sense/know this about you just by your body language/eyes.
The amount of respect I got from people was insane! From people holding the door for me, people waving and smiling at me. Firm strong handshakes etc. Looking back compared to right now, my back became straight, I actually gained a few inches of height. My hair became soft dark and radiant. My skin became so light and clear. My face sculpted out very nicely. Looking in the mirror became a joy. I started buying myself new clothes, it was amazing. My body became Lean and fit on its own, with absolutely no exercise (hello six pack abs! deeper voice, solid eye contact, increased female interaction).
I actually went to a party (something my pmo self would have been terrified of doing) and numerous females walked up to me and asked me if I was famous/ a rapper lol.
6 months ago I was a 23 y.o. Virgin who couldn’t see myself getting laid, but during this streak it happened!
So why did I relapse? Life was so good for me, the dark days were gone. No brain fog or stupid suicidal thoughts. Well here’s what happened, I have been purposely going without internet access for the past year, due to wanting to complete nofap, and to open up time for other things. Well I obviously wasn’t quite ready yet. I got minutes and data on my phone (finally) scored me some good marijuana. And we’ll you can put two and two together.
I did the deed about three times and felt like crap afterwards, but the crazy thing is the first time I relapsed I felt a part of me leave. Like a physical being, a spirit, or a soul had been ripped from my body. The presence I had was instantly gone. I felt very numb.
Well I got out the next day (bad idea) and everything changed.. Girls went from trying to get my attention to trying to figure what the hell was wrong with me, and the need to get away from me. My peers lost all respect me. My own friends didn’t even want to speak to me, or be around me. I started getting treated like a ten year old by my older peers. I couldn’t look people in the eyes anymore. People would speed by me damn near as if they were trying to hit me as I walked. Not to mention the intense lethargy, lack of energy, and bad congestion.
All in all I knew I had made a grave mistake, all those days of hardship that we face on nofap are not for nothing. We as humans have to buildup our senses if we are to function in this world. Porn will do absolutely nothing but destroy you from the inside out. If your sitting there horny/bored whatever and thinking of relapsing save yourself the emotional guilt, torment, and shame and just don’t do it. Get off the internet, and get out there with other human being and try to something positive.
Well that’s another streak gone and another chapter of life unfortunately coming to a close. But I’m not done yet. I could sit here and pity myself all day and think about the fun I had during my streak but tgats not gonna get me anywhere. I have to pick myself up and try again. Thanks for reading.
TL:DR DO NOT, I REPEAT: DO NOT RELAPSE! It gets easier don’t throw your streak away for that garbage. You are so much better then that and you deserve to have a good life just like everyone else.
Hey guys just thought id give you a progress report on how its been hanging. Im not superman, women arent throwing themselves at me, and i still havent got laid. BUT what i have got is an inner peace and a general good feeling that lasts all day. nothing holds me back anymore, there are no second thoughts, if i want to do something i just do it.. simple as that.
Also people/animals etc seem to be much more comfortable around me as well. sometimes girls stand right behind me or right beside me while waiting in line. its funny to me because back when i was pmoing girls wouldnt want to be near me. i seem to be losing weight, i look a lot leaner in the mirror, and my posture has improved greatly. Im starting to learn a lot about body language, and other small social cues to help “get the girl”
People who i thought were my friends are starting to distance themselves from me. I guess since i cant be picked on, or the fact that girls check me out before them pisses them off so fuck em.
Voice is a lot deeper, almost powerful. i have crazy body heat now, and can feel a presence deep within. its hard to explain but you just feel alive you know? when your dead your body becomes cold, but right now i feel an aura emanating from myself.
I no longer feel the need to release, thru porn a gf or whatever. i feel that me keeping my seed in is the only thing allowing me to be myself so i plan on keeping it that way. I will never go back to that old lifestyle until im fully content with myself, and my life and until i have everything i want. wether its a job, new house, new car, etc.
I still keep internet browsing to a minimum, and avoid any material that has women in compromising positions, for example, movies/shows with lots of cleavage, sex scenes, kiss scenes etc. I feel these are detrimental to nofap so i stay away. I usually wake up feeling like a beast. for example the past few days ive been walking around town with no shirt on, something i would never have been able to do back in my pmo days.
i see women all the time, and i think ehh shes hot. but thats it, i dont fantasize about being with her, i dont stare at her ass and tits. basically i dont sexualize them anymore, and this sheer fact is what keeps me going. women are people too, but porn/the media has us putting them on such high pedestals just because of what they have. So yeah thats it.
also no more brain fog, i dont get sick as easily, i have more strength, my hair is thicker and softer, and my beard has grown in full, no more patches or bald spots.
Also i got a job, and have been having a blast being able to be around people and have money in my pocket, something my old pmo self feared doing.
keep going guys the grass is so much greener on this side. Once again im never gonna stop, and you should feel the same. stop bullshitting around and do what needs to be done to get your life on the right track. Peace & Love.
LINK – 124 days quick update.