Hey guys. I’ve been away from here for a while because I finally learned one of the keys to curing oneself is to quit counting the damn counter and just get out and live life. I had completely normal, great sex last night. I also had great sex about a week or so ago. I don’t worry about PIED anymore.
Here’s a little bit of my backstory.
I’m 24 – born in 1990. When I was about 11, high speed internet was just starting to become mainstream. Around the age of 12, just before puberty really set in, I had my first taste of porn through some softcore pictures. It basically built from there – pictures led to more pictures led to videos. Thankfully, my porn interests never went too wild. I didn’t even like watching what some people would call “regular” porn. Usually videos with one girl or so were enough for me.
I kept on watching throughout my teens. I had girlfriends and had sexual relationships with no real trouble. Got into a long-term relationship at the age of 16 through the age of 19. It is here that I was setting myself up for PIED. While with this girl, I didn’t really watch any porn. So no problems. However, when we broke up – my freshman year of college, I started dabbling back into porn. The PIED hadn’t really set in at this point, so I continued having sex with girls while also watching porn.
PIED really revealed itself when I was about 20. I noticed erections were harder to attain and sustain than they should be. I always attributed it to drinking, etc. Sounds familiar, right?
This kept on to a downhill spiral until I turned 22 – late 2012. By this point I was severely depressed – my extremely extroverted personality had slipped into a super-awkward half man who didn’t want to talk. Also, my attempts at sex with several girls were all ending in disappointment. What was wrong with me?
Finally, February 2013 rolled around and I had gotten a really hot girl in my bed ready for sex. But absolutely zero was happening downstairs. I began googling what my problem could possibly be and like many others, I stumbled upon this site.
My first reboot attempt started on February 14, 2013 (Todai is November 9th, 2014) It was your typical reboot through and through – mood swings, hints of healing, etc. However, after about a month or so in, I slipped in to “peeking” at videos off and on – not knowing that this was the single most detrimental thing I could have done.
For the next 2 years up until this last reboot attempt (the one my counter has logged), this was the story of my reboots. Bouts of progress followed up by relapses, flatline, disappointment.
I got sick of it this last time, and that’s really when it clicked in my head. NO PORN. NO PEEKING. So I stopped. It was tough, and it was tempting, but I knew that I absolutely had to quit looking at all forms of naked women on the internet.
Around 20-30 days of no peeking on this current reboot, I started noticing my “old self” coming back. The anxiety was consistently gone and replaces with my old confident teenage self. I kept going.
And here I am now, on whatever day this is. I have a girlfriend now. We had sex last night. I didn’t worry about PIED at all because I had a full erection before the clothes even came off. We had sex for quite a long time, and after it was over there was the usual refractory period – for a healthy man. About 20-30 minutes later I was ready to go again. Woke up with morning wood this morning. Just like a healthy man.
So it’s been a long journey that I’ve done my best to keep short for the sake of your reading. Just know this – you WILL heal. But you have to stop looking at porn. If you feel like you want to peek, I’m going to give you some unorthodox advice – go MO to touch. I MO’d between 10 and 20 times this reboot, often when I felt tempted to peek. The MO’s didn’t set me back much at if all – way less than the price of peeking.
Here’s some advice/tips I’ve got for you guys, ones that I feel have attributed to my finally beating this.
- Pick MO to touch over peeking at porn: Again probably unorthodox advice. But I rebooted for nearly 2 years. In my experience, MOíng to touch did way less damage than even a few minutes of peeking at porn. Not exactly sure why, but I know what worked and what set me back.
- Stay busy, Stay Active: Find something in your life that you love. For me, it was my band and the gym. I focused on those things and really started enjoying them. I put the damn reboot in my subconscious and just started living. It really speeds up the process for us mentally.
- Rewire when you can: I know firsthand that even hanging out with a girl can be stressful when you know your dick isn’t doing what it should. Do it anyway. Come up with lame excuses as to why you can’t or won’t have sex. But do everything you can to “get back in the game”. Getting with my present girlfriend has made the last 2 months of this reboot kick into overdrive.
- Keep going: You’re gonna feel at least once that you will never be cured. I felt it so many times. So many hopeless days. But here I sit now, with another great night of sex under my belt. Ready for more. KEEP GOING!! Do not give up and don’t fall back into peeking. Peeking will kill your progress.
And finally, a summary of my symptoms and recovery:
- Complete PIED, no response to touch at all. Hardly any sign of erection.
- Complete loss of confidence. Super awkward around all people, especially girls.
- Depression and loss of interest in my usual activities
- Feeling lack of testosterone
- No morning wood, no random erections
- Smaller penis when flaccid as well
- Erections work. Don’t expect to get an instant boner from the first touch or to have raging boners while walking down the street. This is unrealistic. But – when the time comes, you will be ready. It becomes natural, and you quit thinking about it.
- Boundless confidence and energy. I feel like I’m 16 again.
- Depression gone. It feels great just to wake up and have opportunities to live.
- Feeling surplus of testosterone
- Morning wood and random erections throughout day. It seems like any strong emotion will rouse at least a chub. (lol)
- Larger flaccid penis
- Huge libido
It’s totally worth it guys. Every aspect. Just. Do. NOT. PEEK!! Peeking killed me. I would be healed by now if it weren’t for my lack of discipline in that area. February 2015 will be 2 years of this new lifestyle. I’ve still got little improvements to make, but overall, I consider myself healed. It’s been a long, troublesome road – but it’s been every bit worth it.
I’ll be checking on this periodically to answer any questions y’all might have.
Stick with it! Keep going! You will heal.
BY – Krs1