About 110 days ago I was a mess. I couldn’t get it up during intercourse with a beautiful girl, had trouble staying hard during masturbating to porn and I was a lazy slob. These problems caused me severe anxiety, some depression; and serious social insecurities; they also made me feel ashamed of my missed potential. This is the story of how I solved my PIED, got a random girl to help me rewire, and became a better, stronger and more confident person in the process.
After reading YBOP I decided to start nofap. I went into a worrisome flatline from day 1; I had no urges at all, I was completely asexual for over 70 days. This made not fapping really easy, but it worried me immensely. I obssessively read nofap to try and find people who experienced the same kind of strange flatline (from day 1); and didn’t find a lot of similar cases. I did started to notice an increase in social confidence. This was telling me at least something was happening. At the start I had a few wet dreams, these started gradually dissappearing. I’m not sure; but somewhere in these 110 days, my morning wood started to reappear. At first once every 3 days at half strength. And then they started to become more consistent and strong. I also had the occasional day were my libido would suddenly be back in full. At a few of these occasions I couldn’t resist the temptation to fap anyway (but to my fantasy). I have a feeling these did set back my progress, but it didn’t reset it.
This is where my progress stopped (at around the 90 day mark). I had fairly consistent morning boners; didn’t get spontaneous erections anymore, and didn’t really have a lot of urges. After reading a lot about how rewiring is important, I mustered up the courage to talk to girls more. I started to try and strike conversations with girls when going out, and just being my very best, most confident and happy self. I managed to get the number of this pretty girl, and then started dating here. Out of fear of an epic failure in bed, I held off sex until the third date, but realized I had to man-up, and approach this problem courageously.
It is here that I did something very much out of my comfort zone. I got her in on the problem. On the third date, we went to her place ‘to watch a movie’ and I sat her down on the couch. It is here that I decided to make myself as vulnerable as I could. I told her how I had ED for 3 months, and that I wanted her to be patient with me. I simply told her how insecure I was, and I asked her to be nice with me and that I was feeling very exposed. Basically I bombarded her with honesty. I told her about rewiring, and how it worked. After telling her this story; I heaved a sigh of relief. It felt as if everything I was afraid of melted like snow in the sun. If I could be this open and vulnerable about my problems, what do I have to lose? The first time in bed totally wasn’t awkward at all. I wasn’t afraid I couldn’t get it up; because I already prepared her for it! This lack of pressure on me to perform, gave me the chance to slowly start rewiring over the course of 2-3 nights (where I pleased her with my hands). I decided to make jokes about my tiny penis and it’s inevitable rise to glory again. Basically, I made light of the situation and laughed at myself (in a good way). This relieved the situation so much; that I slowly found it easier to stay erect. At a certain point during cuddling I was super hard, but was kind of afraid I would lose it when penetrating her. So I simply told her this: “Honey, It’s solid now, hurry up; give me a handjob gogogogo!”. Suffice it so say, this attitude, and playfully honest way of approaching my problem, solved my ED the next night.
By making light and fun of the situation, you remove the awkwardness. By removing awkwardness, you relief the pressure. I feel greater than ever now. I’m not back to full strength, but I don’t care; because I know I will. Moreover I learned something of great value from this. By giving yourself up you win the world. Be vulnerable. Put yourself out there. Dispel your insecurities, by facing your fears head on. You get what you give in this world.
Thank you dear Redditors for the support. Occasionally I will look back to see if I can contribute but for now it is time for me to leave this forum. You have been my guiding light dear friends!
Hi Redditors and fellow Nofapstronauts,
I’m new here and I just wanted to say hi. Have always been addicted to porn, and used to have a very high libido. I looked at and masturbated to porn regularly (at least once a day) since I was 14, and I’m 24 now. I have a heartbreaking story; and this is my way to vent.
At the beginning of this year I met the girl of my dreams. Beautiful, passionate, smart. She had everything, and we fell in love. I had a great first 2 weeks with her (without sex!), and we spend a lot of time together. We purposefully chose to wait a few days before having sex, because this was special and we didn’t want to rush things.
That’s when my sorrows started. We ended up under the covers after a night of drinking and I failed to get an erection. Embarassed as I was, I attributed it to booze, and didn’t think much of it. Happily she was understanding. The next day we tried again: Nothing. I started getting worried something was wrong. She was still understanding. The third day, we decided to try again, and after half an hour of embarassing failed attempts; we gave up. Now I was really starting to get anxious. I’m normally quite a balanced person, and I don’t get upset quickly. But this was the girl of my dreams, and I didn’t expect this to happen. I noticed that on an emotional level, she started getting afraid it was because I didn’t find her attractive. It wasn’t, she was gorgeous. After 2 weeks of this I couldn’t convince her anymore that it was a problem with me, and not her. Surely enough, she started becoming emotionally distant, and I started losing her.
In these hellish weeks I tried masturbating to see if I could get it up on my own (to see if this was an ED related to performance anxiety), and I couldn’t even seem to get it up to porn anymore. We split, and I was kind of heartbroken for 4 months. After 2 weeks or so, I started to be able to get erections to porn again, and I spent 4 pitiful months wallowing in my own silly sorrow, and looking at and masturbating to porn.
Which takes me to today. After recuperating from this emotional rollercoaster. I am almost back to my old self again. At least, on an emotional level. Since my ED with this girl occurred, I haven’t been able to get it up in 3 instances with different girls. You can imagine I stopped trying to get laid a month ago. 2 weeks ago I was looking at porn again, and I could only get a half erection. This is when I found nofap, and started my journey. I realized something needed to change, and if this helped so many people; I sure as hell would have to try it. I am determined to get rid of my ED and become a better man. I will stop at nothing and and will do anything neccessary to live my life greatly.
I started nofap 12 days ago and there are a few things I find worrying. Since I started nofap, I feel great on an emotional level, but I lost all my interest in anything porn related. I read all the stories about how people find it hard not to relapse, but the thought of porn just leaves me cold. This makes my nofap SUPER-easy; but it also upsets me. It seems like I’m in, what you call a ‘flatline’ since day 1 and I can’t find any stories similar to mine. Can anyone relate? I do get morning wood; so it doesn’t seem to be a physical problem? Is my story out of the ordinary?
Thank you fellow no-fappers!