I realise I’m quite a distance beyond my 180 day report. The fact that I’m so late in posting this is something that I’m actually proud of. Don’t get me wrong, I love these forums and if I had more time, taking part in this community on a more frequent basis would be something that I’d enjoy doing.
But having the liberty of continuing my NoFap journey without having to make daily visits to this subreddit, to the point where I forget my actual count completely, is something that within my first 90 days would have just been impossible. On the note of my initial 90 days, I do thank every one of you who contribute to the forums that had supported me in one form or another, you people do not realise how big an impact you’ve made on my life until you read further…
First, what brought me to nofap. Like many people here, I had PIED, to such a degree that neither touch nor visuals would help. The years leading up to this I did suffer from PIED but I wasn’t in relationships that encouraged such a drastic change, that was until I met the girl I’m with now. Just before I begun we tried having sex so many times and it just wouldn’t work. I knew I loved this girl but I couldn’t give her that full intimacy of sex. She was patient with me, and was okay with other things I did to pleasure her, but I wanted to give her more. It’s worth noting that at that time she had only been in the country for a couple years, moved to the UK from the states, and had intentions of moving back. So, I learnt about NoFap and thought, if I want to try change her mind on that, I have to make a change within myself, and be able to be completely intimate with her. I made other changes too, like giving up a marijuana addiction, and cutting down on drinking. All this came at the same time of starting nofap so it was a major transitional period for me.
I had many challenges with NoFap. Don’t get me wrong, this post is a huge success story, but there were times where I thought NoFap was bogus. I progressively noticed slight improvements with my PIED but it wasn’t until day 90 that I could have sex with her, and it wasn’t consistent. I still failed a fair amount and during those times, I challenged the success stories I had read on this very site. I felt that I was different some how. It’s very easy to get into that way of thinking and then relapse, I thought if it’s bogus then why am I resisting so much? But some how, I always fought off relapsing. Skip forward to current day and our sex life is flourishing. My failure rate is at a very small and perhaps ‘normal’ 10%. When that happens it is stuff like too much alcohol, fatigue, etc. If I were to try and pinpoint when that changed, I’d say by day 150 it got a lot better but it has crept up on me, progressively.
So how’d all these changes work out for my relationship with this girl? Well last night I had a romantic night planned out. Candle lights, red wine, luxury dark chocolate, and sitting outside with the stars looking over us. During, we agreed that she’d be moving into my house in a month, and I finally told her I love her and she said it back! We had a long talk about our feelings and everything, and it turns out that she decided that she’d not be moving back to America. She’s happy to live a life here, with me.
I’m not saying that having sex solved this for me. That was just one part of it. There’s a lot more to nofap than sex, and a lot of those qualities have shaped who I am today. You could ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I’ve changed so much from the person I was in 2013. NoFap played a gigantic role in that. For these reasons, I had gone from someone who thought I’d give the ’90 day challenge’ a go, to someone whose comfortable with this as part of his permenant lifestyle. I implore others to embrace it as the same because only then will you see the true benefits of it all.
I want to end with one more sentiment. This past year has been extremely difficult, I had the love of my life at first telling me not to get my hopes up for our future, I’ve had to quit things that were well embedded in my daily routine, and I’ve had to live my life out of my comfort zone, and it’s all paid off. The love of my life is going to be living with me, and she loves me too. I hope for the similar successes to everyone whose embarking on this journey!
LINK – 180 (202) Day Report