This is my first post but I’ve been reading this sub for a few months and I have to say THANK YOU ALL. Reading your posts in a daily basis have both enhanced my willpower and kept me focused. Since I didn’t have a badge on reddit this website (https://chains.cc) has helped a lot.
About myself: 24/M, Virgin, never been kissed by a girl, never had a girlfriend. I am christian and an INTJ. I started masturbating when I was around 13 almost by accident (i.e. I didn’t know what the outcome would be 😉 PMOing about when I was 14. I used to masturbate between once a day to once every 3 days. Over the last few years, I’ve tried a few times to quit but it was pretty difficult: I relapsed after a month to check if everything was going ok (I didn’t know anything about flatlines) and another after 20 days when I started having sex dreams quite disturbing. I’ve never watched really hard porn or weird stuff but as a christian I felt pretty bad, but it was my way to get through personal and family issues.
Why did I start this journey?: To be honest, I started because I wanted a job so bad that I thought that this way God may ease things up. Around day 20 I got an email saying that I didn’t get the job.
The process: So, not getting the job plus the withdrawal symtoms made the 50-60 days a living hell. Feeling were overwhelming but I learnt to manage and facing them instead of PMOing. At the time, I read post about people getting so much energy and superpowers and I thought: is this really working for me? The answer is yes. The first month was pretty hard becuase of the urges and the depression but thanks to reddit and really trying to better myself I could resist the urges. Plus, once you get to a long streak you don’t want to through that effort so easily…
I read about so many people relapsing after 30 or 60 days because they “relaxed”, I tried really hard not to lose focus and beware every time I had thoughts such as: this is going well, now is really easy and so on. However, around day 70 I was getting really horny plus the leaked pictures were launched and fully discussed over the internet. Despite of all that I could manage to keep my streak.
Results: Because of noFAP I now feel way more confident around women. I know because I talk to them being really interested in them, not needing them, and not always checking them up. It’s interesting that girls are now much more interested in me, and even they’re starting to check me up! I read about it, and I didn’t believe it… I thought that they must’ve been making that up, or just been more aware, but it’s true.
I also feel I have much more energy. I started lifting, riding my bike for hours and I feel like my regular 8 hours sleep are much more effective.
I don’t think I had ED but I’m certain that things have improved since I now have really hard boners.
Current situation: I still have urges, but now I can control them (hoorey!!!) I keep struggling to approach girls since as a really tall guy (6’3 in Spain is reallllly tall) and being christian makes things way more difficult (what do you say? I think you’re really cute, but, are you a christian? haha)
What’s the next challenge?: To be honest I fear that once I’ve reached the famous 90 days, things may change or I’d become more relaxed. What should it be the next target? 180 days is too far away so I think I will go for 120. I also think that I may be a bit addicted to the internet, so I’ll try to stop using it so much, but it’s difficult to know when you’re succeding and when you’re relapsing when you don’t completely stop using the internet…
Things to improve: I keep using my laptop in my bedroom, so big threat there that has to be managed. I should stop checking so many girls up. I mean, you’re getting horny and if you’re not going to approach them, what’s the purpose?
I hope this might help someone in any way, and I apologize for grammar mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.
Keep it up!
It’s been 200 days and although there have been difficult moments I couldn’t be happier of fighting this fap nonsense because it’s really worth it.
I did write a full report at day 90 that you can see here but being at 200 days have been a completely different experience to me.
Awakening Yes, I’ve now got the feeling that I’m getting my old self back. In which sense? I’m starting to feel again, starting to really care, to face my fears and really enjoy life. I’ve had to experience death near me, and I’ve always try to skip grief and pain in my life (try to avoid it using unhealthy solutions) but I now know that’s not the way to do it, but go and face you pain and fears and overcome them, that’s a healthy and mature response and I glad I’m doing it. I feel much more sensible and that’s worth having.
I know 200 days isn’t that much compared to the time I’ve been fapping but there’s no point on denying its also a good achievement and I strive for getting 300, 365, 1000… and so on.
What else has changed in my life? Since I don’t have to be so much focused on not fapping, my willpower has increased and it’s free to get rid of other unhealthy habit such as browsing the internet compulsively, using the laptop on my room and getting new good habits such as being more disciplined, eat healthier, do exercise and be much more relaxed.
Advise I would highly recommend to anyone: * Do not try to not fap, do something else that keeps you busy * Be aware that this is a fight and you can’t allow yourself anything or you may fail unexpectedly * Not to use your laptop inside your room * Stop touching yourself * Keep doing exercise * Join the next NoFapWar
There’s also room for improvement, I still sometimes lurk for pictures I shouldn’t but I think I just need to redirect my sexual drive to something useful.
Feel free to ask for advise or let me know any piece of advise you may find useful.