I started my 90 day journey on June 16. I am 25 years old and a month before starting I had broken up with my girlfriend of 4 months. In hindsight, it was a terrible relationship but at the time I thought the opposite. I’ve had two other girlfriends in my life but we were never close, they were meaningless, and of course they didn’t last long. I also have undiagnosed social anxiety and minor depression. I was the type of guy that played games all day long and avoided any and all social situations. I started nofap to improve my existence because I’ve felt like crap most of my adult life.
Now after zero masturbation and porn for 90 days I feel like I’m a new person. I initially wanted to go through this in hard mode but someone got in the way 🙂 During the journey I wrote down a few things each week to track my progress. Everything is the truth and I tried to hold nothing back and confront reality as I saw it at the time. Keep in mind I am an average looking guy with a crappy job and only have a few friends.
1 week – No change. I’ve gone a week before so it was nothing new.
2 weeks – Felt different. Woman in restaurant took interest in me. She asked me if I wanted pie. We had a flirtatious conversation about pie. Still unstable. Moderately horny.
3 weeks – Gained confidence. Felt good, like running 10 miles or taking on the world. Had urge to tell ex to come over for sex.
4 weeks – Feel like superman in the morning but seems to fade as day wears on. More eye contact. Asked girl at bar out. She said she wanted to get to know me as well but bailed on plans.
4.5 weeks – Horny as fuck. Bouts of depression. Lots of emotional ups and downs. Confidence to approach girls nonexistent. Tried but failed. So close to getting an escort but turned around.
5 weeks – Ability to think clearer and make rational decisions. Brain fog is gone. Finally gained willpower to not get back together with ex who treated me shitty. Accomplished more things per day without getting tired. Learning and figuring things out are easier. Talking with customers at work is more fluid and engaging. And I enjoy it so much more. I actually make funny jokes now that people laugh at and respond to. I don’t care how people react to what I say. I’m saying it for me. I am looking forward to what tomorrow brings…for the first time in so many years. I started listening to happier, upbeat songs. Easier to say yes to invitations. I realized I don’t even need alcohol anymore. Was offered manager position at work because of high productivity and improvement. I feel like a man.
5.5 Weeks – Extremely horny. Spent hours dirty txting escorts. Introduced myself to a hottie at a bar, something I never would have done. Compliments from customers. Handwriting is better. Voice is clearer and stronger. I walk with a purpose. Like a boss. I am the most important. Not a girl I barely know. Did not give in to temptation for sex with ex gf. I can finally make the right decisions for me and not be so attached. Woman walking on beach just comes up to me and starts talking. Hot girl server likes me.
6 Weeks – Everything I do is more enjoyable. Flatlined. Words not coming to me. Shy. Here’s where the superpowers kicked in. I went for a nighttime run, stepped on a small rock and sprained my ankle. I sat there on the asphalt and I was so depressed but said fuck it the only way I will get over this is to stop being a pussy and go. I went back to bar even with sprained ankle and got hot girls number. I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THAT BEFORE. I could’ve went home after my jog and moped around all depressed but I chose to get myself out there. It allowed me to take a chance/risk. Flatline big time. Extreme mental clarity gone. Ability to focus has declined. Depressed and lack of energy. But I have new girlfriend…she is the best ever.
6.5 Weeks – Told ex gf we aren’t getting back together. Haven’t been exercising because of ankle. Flat line continues. Started feeling better. Maybe coming out of flatline. Have glimpses of top of the world feelings. Had a sex dream for first time in couple weeks. I am glad to be me. Brain still foggy. Not clear thinking but everything else is great. I don’t give a fuck what people think of me. Made out with the most gorgeous girl on the planet!
7 Weeks – Received bj. Took about 10 min. Hung out with 3 girls. Didn’t say much though. Next day feel amazing!! Boss!! That genuine interest when talking to people has been gone for several weeks now. Makes conversations difficult. I am too worried about what to say, much like before nofap. Mental clarity is a bit better but I’m not outgoing and have difficulty contributing to a conversation. The desire to go out has weakened. Next day was much better after stopping alcohol consumption for 2 days. Thoughts clearer and I spoke up at meeting. Stopped worrying about people’s view of me. Able to engage in conversation and be totally in it.
Week 8 – Libido increasing. Random boners at work.
Week 8.5 – Best I’ve ever felt. Interacted with customers on a whole new level. Feel more connected and comfortable with girlfriend. Best I’ve ever felt before a job interview and I didn’t even prepare. Killed interview. But then tired and mind blank. Inconsistent but still went with gf on daytrip to aquarium. Skin is noticeably smoother. After good nights sleep I feel amazing. It wears down as the day progresses but I think I’ve hit a new normal that’s better than any time before in my life. I feel I am growing everyday.
Week 9 – Feel great. Get immediate boner kissing or caressing gf. Relationship moving along amazingly well. Would never have been in this position before nofap. I feel like I’m more myself now and am more engaged in the present rather than always thinking of how people perceive me. Social anxiety has decreased significantly.
Week 9.5 – Still feel great. Refused sex with gf to show her I really like her for her. Have been doing things that I would never normally do. Wrote her name in sand with shells covered with sunflowers. Another bj from gf…felt amazing. Feel like I’ve reached a new level in my life. From affection from gf and overall happiness in we’re I’m at. Allows me to think ahead and picture myself doing things in an unbiased way.
Week 10 – Haven’t had much sleep. Drove 3.5hr to surprise gf. I think the new normal is evident. Able to let things not bother me as much. An example is when I prepaid $50 for gas but left the gas station without pumping. That would really upset me before but now I know that there’s no point in getting stressed out over things you cannot change. I think any orgasm reduces the amazing feeling of accomplishing anything. It drains energy. I have kind of lost the ability to determine what is wrong or right, and what is the best thing to say.
Week 11 – Spent 3 day weekend with gf. Best time ever. Received bj. This weekend with this girl would not have happened before I started this. I hardly care what people think about me and when I have her with me I can actually have fun and make fun of myself. Life is great.
Week 12 – I feel great. I think better and all aspects of my life are better. I’m growing and am moving through life unafraid and with far less worry. I can goto work on hardly any sleep and still be lucid and productive. Gf left for school and I’ve been depressed and a wreck. I feel great otherwise.
In 90 days my life has turned around and it’s the best it’s ever been since I can remember. I’ve met the girl of my dreams and I will marry her one day. I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I still have bouts of social anxiety and still get depressed occasionally but compared to how I was before it’s insignificant. I’m still a work in process as I believe everyone should be as they go through this journey called life but I feel like I can get through anything life throws at me with my head held up high. I could never talk to women before but now it’s not an issue.
As others have said I believe nofap is a gateway to improving your life. I recommend challenging yourself every week and doing something uncomfortable every day. I recommend exercising 3-4 times per week, eating healthy (a lot of green veggies and berry smoothies make you feel so much better), reading a little bit everyday, cutting out alcohol, and writing things down you want to accomplish. If you feel down or depressed, do something. I don’t care if you’re tired…get up and move. Do 20 pushups or go for a walk or talk to a stranger. Get out of the house and go. It’s the best advice I can give so that empty feeling in your stomach goes away. It’s gonna be hard and it’s not gonna cure you completely but it does make a difference.
The superpowers I reached during week 5 were real. No one can convince me otherwise. Women were genuinely attracted to me. I can’t explain why but you start to give off an attractive quality that may be related to pheromones. The flatline was real too. It may have been the darkest weeks I’ve ever been through, not because of diminished libido but because of all the emotional stress and depression that ensued. I drank a lot during that period and found myself walking the empty streets at night. Those of you going through the flatline need to not give up because it is the natural brain rewiring process. It’s how you know it’s working.
I am going to continue the nofap lifestyle until my time expires. Right now I’m awaiting to hear back from two good jobs that I interviewed for recently. Tomorrow I’m visiting my beautiful girlfriend for the weekend. I’m in the middle of learning two new songs on the guitar to sing to her. I just got done with my kettlebell workout…I leave you all with a few quotes..
“I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.”
“It’s important not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong.”
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
“There’s always a door open, no matter how many doors get closed in your face. There’s always hope, as long as you’re alive.”