I was tired of feeling like shit after I would jack off. I remembered how I felt before I started masturbating (when I was younger) and the hopes and dreams I had. That all disappeared when I started masturbating. I wanted those feelings back.
It was December 9th 2014 when I finally made the decision to quit. That was my first quit date. I was doing great until around 70 days. Then in the latter part of Feb. I relapsed. For two months I tried quitting again but the time was never “right”. I always made some excuse as to why I should put it off. “Make it the first of month, that way it’ll be easy to remember”. “Can’t be today. Today is so-and-so’s birthday. That would be weird”. Excuses.
There is never the “perfect” time. The perfect time is now.
Finally on the 18th of April 2016 I quit again and have not touched my wiener with the intent to keep touching it beyond taking a piss or rearranging my junk.
Although I quit masturbating 1 year ago, I did not stop looking at porn until about 6 months ago. I would view it but just not touch myself. For whatever reason, I had a pretty severe flatline and I was trying to make sure I could still be aroused. This just prolonged my recovery process. I made the decision to stop looking at porn on Nov. 1st 2016 and I quit. I knew I couldn’t fully recover unless I did.
It has been an interesting journey for sure. I had started (purely coincidentally) growing a beard about 3 weeks before I quit jacking off. I had my beard for 9 months. I didn’t see my face for nine whole months. A very interesting thing happened when I shaved: I didn’t recognize myself. Not in the usual way when you shave your beard and you think you look silly for a few days. I shaved and I looked so different than nine months prior. I looked like a man. It was almost like the physical shape of my face had changed.
I know you all are going to ask about benefits. I’m going to tell you some as well as some downsides.
- More time. I didn’t masturbate a ton (enough to recognize it as a problem for me) but man, even thinking about it can take up so much time.
- More motivation. Masturbation saps your energy and makes you feel like you can’t do anything.
- Desire to talk to girls. I was really shocked at this one. I’ve always had the desire to talk to girls but when masturbation is not an option, girls become the option.
- Productivity. Goes with having more time. I have been doing more productive things. The ability to become horny. This one can be annoying especially if I’m talking to a girl I find attractive.
- Girls find me more attractive. I could be I’m just more aware now but since I see a difference in me, I’m sure girls do too.
Those are some benefits but there are also some downsides.
- Flatline. Flatline sucks. I had a seemingly never ending flatline. Stress from school and work probably contributed a lot to the excessively long flatline. I still go through phases of flatline but they don’t last too long. When flatline is over….
- Blue balls. Hurts like a mofo. When you get horny and you don’t release that pressure, it hurts. But it hurts so good.
In this year, I have not yet started lifting. I know many guys go full immersion which includes lifting. It didn’t work out that way for me. I intend to start lifting soon.
Unlike a lot of stories I’ve heard, I still have not had sex. I’ve been on more dates in the last 6 months than I’ve been on my entire life, yet no sex. I suppose it’s a good thing though. I’d rather it be with someone I like, trust and respect and who likes, trusts and respects me than someone who I find attractive but there is nothing beyond that. When there is no connection beyond the physical, that sex is no better than masturbation.
For some of you new fellows, one year may seem like unobtainium.
You may ask how I did it. The answer is simple and it all too often gets buried in the haze of “I’m never masturbating again!” or “I’m going for 90 days!”.
No, gentlemen. The key to it is simple. One Day at a Time. That’s it. I will not masturbate…today.
That is not to say don’t have goals. Just make your goals manageable. All of the “todays” will soon add up to 30 days, 60 days, 90 days and 1 year.
The method that helped me the most was the calendar method. I got a calendar and a felt tip pen. Day one got an X. Day two got an X and so on. Don’t break the chain of X’s. I borrowed this method from someone but I don’t remember who.
I appreciate this sub and it was instrumental in helping me quit masturbating. It was so relieving to find that I was not alone in my struggle.
I hope this post was helpful. I want to see more helpful posts in this sub. I see too many “fuck, i relapsed and feel like shit” posts. I understand that sometimes we need to vent our frustrations. Let’s at least attempt to help by offering insight into something we learned.
Feel free to ask any questions and I’ll do my best to answer them.
After 1 year, I can safely say that my journey is not over. It is just beginning.