When I started this streak I could not get an erection at all during sex, nor did I get morning wood. The only way I could maintain an erection long enough to orgasm was to cycle through multiple porn tabs. And I’m only 25 years old. It took me damn near the full 3 months to even get my first weak erection.
I have been struggling with nofap for over 5 years now. I have had streaks of varying lengths on and off since 2012. This is not my first time past the 90 day mark, but this is the one that counted the most. First let me share how I did it. I have 3 fundamental tips that I believe really made it possible.
One day at a time In the past I would feel overwhelmed by the prospect of nofap. Even as I write this, the idea that I will never PM again makes me nervous. So instead I tell myself that all I have to do is quit PM for today. I just have to stay clean for one day, and I can worry about tomorrow when it comes.
Sit with the urges For years I’ve done nofap from the perspective that I had to avoid urges at all costs. To even think about sex or porn was a failure and I decided that to feel horny was a negative thing. Through meditation practice I began to apply a different approach. Instead of freaking out every time I got horny, I would sit with the feeling and just observe it. I would describe it in my head my heart is beating, I feel a tightness in my navel, I feel a pressure in my groin etc. Doing this allowed me to step out of my urge long enough to let them pass as I turned my focus elsewhere.
Making use of my time This should come as a surprise to no one. When I stopped watching an average of 4 hours of porn everyday I simply had more time to be productive. In that time I’ve reached significant milestones in my career, I’ve improved my grades in my graduate degree program, I’ve gotten back into shape, I’ve taught myself how to draw, and I started making time for friends, and even dating.
Over the last 3 months I’ve made a serious effort to try to date women. I can’t say I had the experience of women suddenly being attracted to me. There were no “superpowers” for me. I faced rejection after rejection and I began to question if this was worth it. The first 30 days were characterized by depression and introspective regret. The only thing that kept me going was the belief that if I relapsed and maintained my PIED then I would die alone. I was certain of that.
Progress came slow. After the first month I began to notice morning wood. Eventually I met a girl that I really hit it off with. It wasn’t until the day 70ish time that I began feeling semi-erections from simple stuff like hugging and kissing. At 90 days I can get a 100% strong erection effortlessly, sometimes just thinking about my girlfriend is enough.
You gotta understand that a lot of people with PIED edge to make an erection happen. This only worsens the condition. To cure PIED you need to start dating.
Don’t limit yourself. My relationship started as a fling I met on the dancefloor. The key is to go seek intimacy. Don’t avoid sex out of fear of poor performance. Be open to love in whatever form it comes in. Around day 80 I felt confident enough to try. No problems. I started seeing her around day 65ish, but she didn’t want to rush into sex, and I liked her enough to stick around
So if you’ve got PIED and you’re feeling hopeless, don’t give up. I strongly recommend trying to date and have sex. So called hardmode is not your friend when you want to cure ED. Believe me, there’s nothing easy about getting rejected as often as I did. But it was all worth it. I wish you all the best.
Stay strong fapstronauts! Believe me, my PIED ruined every chance at intimacy I’ve had since middle school. It doesn’t have to be that way forever!
The best part is, I discovered that I actually enjoy feeling horny. I enjoy it enough to not want to immediately escape that feeling with PM