I now have a quiet/deep resolve and undying persistence in my actions, quiet confidence, and a calmer and more confident demeanor. (I’ve always been more of an introvert.) I’ve been much more productive and creative during this time too, it’s as if weights/shackles have been removed from my brain allowing its liberation. My thoughts are much clearer now. Intrusive thoughts and porn flash-backs are much less now. This helps me become very focused when I’m working, instead of consciously fighting off unwanted thoughts. It’s like hearing that ekg-flatline of just pure focus at times, i.e. being in the zone.
Physically, I have gained 10lbs of muscle. I have been lifting weights after not doing so for years. I stand straighter now and am taller. Fapping was curving my spine/enlarging a shoulder — I am around an inch-taller than I was a year ago (I’m 26). My voice is also more grounded, deeper and generally more confident sounding now.
Walking around in public without viewing life through an unwanted lens of pornography/sexcraze is wonderful. I see people more for what they really are and look at women and think about them more as a person and wonder what their life is like. I can remember a time where everything I saw was in my mind processed as sexual. This used to frighten me and I always wanted it to go away, it made me a shell of a human.
I don’t have a girlfriend. This is something I’ve really wanted for a long-time, I’ve been single for years, but I’m not so worried anymore. Not everything has fallen into my lap since doing nofap, but what’s important to me is that I have become a better person. It’s said luck is preparation meeting opportunity, and I’m becoming more and more prepared everyday.
100-days is only the beginning for me, I see no point in ever returning to the prison of porn-masturbation-orgasm. Every day I make it, the urge fades further away into obscurity where it belongs.
I sit and wonder about how much I could of been, what I could of done, but more importantly… what I CAN do going forward, what I CAN become, and what I AM becoming. I like reading this reddit because it reminds me what poison pmo really is, this helps strengthen my resolve to never fall into pmo’s grips again, because I’m finally free.