At 45 days I wrote a pretty successful report that people seemed to like. It emphasized how NoFap wasn’t really about masturbating. It was about taking back control over your life. You see, masturbating is a bad habit, like smoking, but instead of damaging your lungs, it damages your mind.
But when someone decides to quit smoking, it’s usually because of health reasons. They know, or they damn well should know, that smoking is killing them, and causing not only lung damage, but also predisposing them to a multitude of cancers… with masturbation, it’s not so obvious. It’s not necessarily BAD for you, right? It won’t kill you. and it’s easier to keep doing because no one is pestering you to stop.
Except you. Because you know that while there not necessarily being any serious adverse [physical health consequences, there are many psychological and social ones. Fapping IS bad for you, and it’s time you quit. Fapping creates a positive feedback loop where you have a need, a craving, for the neurotransmitters that give you that rush during an orgasm. You know that you can satisfy that need by fapping, and you do so, eliminating the need to satisfy that craving through any outside means. As with any addicition, the dependence manifests as an increased tolerance… you may need to masturbate more times a day, or with newer, more outrageous porn. It manifests also as withdrawal, the tingling feeling you get in your genitals at the mere hint of something sexual. And as your addiction intensifies you can become more withdrawn, less likely to feel the need to interact with women because YOU ARE GIVING YOURSELF EVERYTHING YOU NEED. If you think that you are the only person you need in life, and have no desire for outside connection, then by all means, keep masturbating. But think very carefully and try to decide what artificial distinction you are making between yourself and any other drug user. The pathways in your brain that are being hijacked are the same either way…
But if you aren’t that kind of person, and seek a life where you can interact with others, and share a healthy relationship with a woman or man where you can each satisfy each other in ways you can’t yourself, then I suggest you break this cycle. At 45 days I thought i would have to keep fighting to refrain from masturbating, but someone wiser than me assured me it would get easier. And now I can say the same for you. Put your cock down, and in doing so, eliminate your ability to withdraw from society. Force yourself to seek out interaction in others because you have removed choice from the equation. You no longer are going to get off by looking at porn in a dark room, sitting on the same disgusting sweaty chair you have for so long now. You are going to channel that energy in a new direction, whatever you want it to be. Think about all the time, and the energy, and the sexuality that will be pent up and how you can direct it into accomplishing so many things! I may be criticized for this, but I love women. I just love them. I love sex. And at 45 days I had already been successful having sex with more women than was typical. I figured it was easier because I was in Europe and didn’t necessarily credit the Fapstinence for the change. But it has continued. I am home now and I honestly can’t keep track of the women I talk to and phone numbers I get. This isn’t a sexual addiction. It’s a redirect into meeting new people. I am confident now, I am sure of myself and my value because I know I am not controlled by ANYTHING. Because I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I overcame this addiction, and damnit a woman would be damn lucky to have a guy who has this much will-power, and self-control. And it is this new outlook that has made me desirable to women. not magic. not super powers. just some goddamn force-of-will.
Fapstinence won’t bring women to you. It won’t make you ace a test or become the world’s greatest athlete. Sometimes there’s so much talk of super powers in this sub that people who don’t experience that get jaded and relapse. Don’t expect to wake up and feel superpowers. You have to look at yourself and realize that your superpower is your strength to take back your life, when so many millions across the globe don’t even realize they are no longer in control. And this awareness, and the subsequent confidence and satisfaction coming from it… these are your super powers. As long as you keep in mind WHY you are doing what you are doing, and WHY it makes you awesome, you will have all the super powers you could ever need.
Once again, good luck gentleman.
I don’t want this to sound like I am just boasting about my sexploits, so hear me out. Over the past 45 days I have not fapped a single time. Over this same period of time, I have had sex with five women. FIVE. I assure you this is not typical for me. So I want to briefly try to capture what this experience has done for me.
I actually started this streak of NoFap after I tried to have sex with a girl and couldn’t get it up. This is a very unpleasant situation, made worse by the fact that I knew I would have no problem if I was by myself with porntube open. Perhaps the worst part of it is seeing their face, worrying that it is their fault. I won’t forget her saying, “I just wish I understood what I could do…” Worse still, it was the second or third girl in a row over a few month period with whom this had happened.
I had also previously struggled with the rationalizations common when seeing a gorgeous girl. “Oh she’s hot, but it’s a lot of work to try to get with her, I could just go home and rub one out all by myself.” I would think of something to say to her, smile to myself, and then decide “nah, not worth it”
This is where I was 45 days ago. A serious ED problem and plagued by complacency with underlying self-doubt. Then I went to Europe. I don’t know if it was a solo trip abroad, or the no fap, or both, but my confidence over this period soared. When you are by yourself, you simply CANT be complacent. You will either travel alone or you will find the courage to talk to people, with the benefit of being abroad so that worst case scenario, you’ll never see them again. I stopped fapping a week or two before the trip, and then during I was so busy that I barely thought about it. And then it all just started falling into place… During my trip, walking up to random groups of people, guys, girls, mixed, became second nature. It was just what I did. I was imbued with the confidence that comes with knowing you were in complete control.
Nevertheless, with the next girl I had difficulty; at first it wouldn’t work still, sitting there lifeless, but I got past it and we ultimately had a great time. Most recently, (last night), I girl i’d seen a couple of times came over for the night and I had zero difficulty, and lasted longer than I used to. We fucked in multiple positions over who knows how long a period, I had the gratification of watching her cum before I did, and it was just a really great experience.
Bottom line, I have been enjoying sex far more, lasting longer with less apprehension, and have had les and less problems achieving/maintaining an erection.
I still think about fapping. Quite frequently actually. I dont know if that will ever go away. But I do know that I like where I am now, and whether you call them super powers or not, choosing not to fap is about more than masturbation. Yes, physically it seems to have helped my ED issue, but its more than that too. It is about accountability. It is about taking control of your life instead of allowing something (fapping) to control you. By removing masturbation as an option, you eliminate the ability to be complacent and you force yourself to do what you know you want/need/should do, and to take what is rightfully yours.
tl;dr Gentlemen, be strong. You are striving for more than no fapping. You are striving to take back your life. If you can control this most animalistic and ingrained urge, you can control anything.