It just… feels like me! It’s strange. This whole journey has produced a growth in me so steady and so gradual, that it actually requires great effort to precisely denote the changes. The changes have been occurring in several more areas than just sex-related.
Furthermore, the changes are constant and will continue long after this day, perhaps to the end of my days.
In other words, slowly, but surely, this whole nofap thing isn’t something I “do” per se, but instead: it has become a lifestyle. A part of my identity. Some changes are obvious, but others extremely subtle. Some things haven’t changed at all. I really need to think back and compare my current self to my self 90 days prior to suss it all out.
So, for better or worse, what are some notable changes?
I. Sex related:
- PIED and ED is at least 80% GONE: Before, I could LITERALLY only keep an erection sitting down, watching porn, and with death grip. Now? It’s the opposite problem, I have plenty of sensitivity. Erections occur whether I want them to or not (while standing, with no contact, even in public, etc, a better problem imo, but requires control).
- Extreme arousal/attraction/desire for real-life women: This one, I never want to lose again. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a 26 yo virgin, but after a certain amount of time denying myself P M and O, I have now been socially rewired to pursue women, something I never did before (after all I had my fake “harem”). In a way, the primitive brain, without its easy (fake) outlet for “reproduction” takes on its more natural role. Although my v-card doesn’t bother me, I simply don’t see myself having it too much longer, not that that has anything to do with my nofap challenge.
- Wet dreams: one of the few “bad” (more like annoying) changes, especially considering the last wet dream barrage I had was when I was a teen 7+ years ago. It is a very small price to pay though.
- Porn is fading from my conscience: Albeit very slowly. Memories about my favorite scenes are still there, but I don’t think of them as often. Their powerful influence over me has waned. Imagery of real life women that I desire has taken the place of these scenes (not in a “pornified” way, but in a natural and beautiful). It really IS like a voice getting further and further away.
Those are the major ones I can think of. However, it isn’t just sex-related stuff that has changed. When I REALLY think about, NoFap (along with cold showers, introduced via NoFap) has been the catalyst for other major changes.
The most essential change?
I have more willpower, discipline and self control.
Through the process of acquiring the willpower necessary for me, a PMO addict, to deny myself the instant gratification of PMO, I have altered my brain. This whole ordeal has strengthened my rational neural pathways (and has weakened my primitive pathways).
It’s all about instant gratification folks. Once you can deny yourself this, a whole world of opportunities become evident to you. This has produced a plethora of changes which I will list below.
- Less procrastination: It turns out that the same thing that drove me to PMO was driving me to procrastinate: a lack of willpower required to face real life head on, no matter how uncomfortable, which leads to the next one ->
- I’m more likely to step out of my comfort zone: This alone, for me, is worth the effort. I have gained more opportunities professionally and personally as a result of this.
- I cook for myself: Before, I needed food “NOW” and with as little effort as possible, so that meant fast food and frozen dinners. Now? I derive almost as much pleasure preparing food as I do eating it. This is a complete 180 for me (and the easiest one to think of). As you can imagine, this also saves me money.
- I’ve started intermittent fasting: This requires the willpower not to eat when hungry. Seeing hunger as an “urge” and food (particularly, unhealthy food) as the “relieving pleasure” was helpful because I already had a framework built around that logic (NoFap!).
- I’m less sedentary, and get more exercise: It gives you vital energy. Our bodies were meant to move people! It can be as simple as a brisk 30 minute walk every morning (something I do now, along with other activities). I’ve lost at least 3.5 pounds, at least 0.5% body fat (fasting helps), and gained at least 0.5% muscle mass in the past 3 or 4 weeks.
- Less computer time, less strained eyes, more people time: This is wonderful (although it still needs a lot of improving). By quitting PMO, I automatically gained several more hours per day, but through this whole process, I have been able to identify other wasteful computer activities that soak up time.
- Yep, I am a much more happy and confident person 🙂. There is something satisfying about being able to tell your primitive brain “NO!”. Unlike many here, I felt no shame (I’m not religious) after PMO, but it WAS sucking all the time and energy I had. However, when you think about how short life is, wasting so much time with PMO IS a shame in another kind of way. Now, I feel like I am on a path towards a more fulfilling life (again, nothing to do with religion)
I’m sure there are numerous other things, but the changes have been so subtle. The only change that seemed sudden to me was going cold turkey on PMO. Since then, the changes have been so slow that now, I see all these new things as just part of myself rather than drastic changes, which is kind of cool honestly. I still have a LONG ways to go as far as improving myself. My next goal is 120 days, but I LOVE NoFap so far!
tl;dr This took me long to write because I REALLY had to think about my past self (although only 90 days ago, it feels like an eternity). This entire NoFap business has become my lifestyle.
For those still considering nofap: Are you wondering whether all this is worth it? Only you can determine this. I don’t believe masturbation or (not all) porn is “badWRonG!11 Evil!!!”. But if you seriously have control issues around arousal addiction (which is most likely what brought you here), nofap can be your cure. In this case, I strongly urge you to take advantage of this moment of clarity, delete ALL of your porn/porn-accounts, and start your nofap challenge (this is what I did). The deletion is important as it shocks your brain into realizing that this is serious.
For those struggling: Hang in there! It’s okay to mess up. I relapsed several times early on, but the point is to persevere and always try again. One of two tips I’d give you now is this: start taking cold showers. This will help you practice how to deal with discomfort (this really helped me in my current streak). Check out this youtube video from NoFap Academy. The other tip is this: take it one day at a time. Your main goal today should have nothing to do with reaching a certain amount of days (90, 120, etc.). It should be to get through this one day. That is how this is done. 90 days doesn’t feel like 90 days to me, because my approach to nofap is a daily based system! So, it’s nice to see my 90 day badge, but even at that, my number one goal is to win today not tomorrow.
Thank you /r/NoFap and /r/PornFree. And a VERY special thanks to /r/nofapwarrebooted (currently /r/nofapwar) for helping me break through 1 month for the first time! I highly recommend the wars btw, it is like having hundreds of accountability partners. There will be another one after this one.
I had a post @ 90 days on nofap outlining changes to my life, but you guys have been just as awesome to have as support!
However, ONE new change has been happening in the last few days:
Morning wood. I NEVER really had it before (or perhaps I was so autopilot about fapping/porn that I’d relieve it immediately without any thought).
Happened a few days ago and this morning (along with a bad wet dream last night. Wet dreams happen a lot now, which is a bummer, but bearable, perhaps I should fap lol NO!).
It is a strong erection and takes a while to go away too, 5-10 minutes of pacing does the trick. It is nice to have sensitivity in my penis again, and doing nofap AND pornfree together has had a powerful effect on this.
I know this is TMI, but hey, we’re pornfree damnit, everything is TMI… lol.
Stay strong my brothers and sisters! Live life! Read this post today about one of our members who hit 4 weeks for the first time in CONJUNCTION with having a successful surgery to remove a deadly cancer. This man/woman is doing it right! He or she is dealing with this head on without porn as a crutch! In fact, he/she is BEATING porn! Way to go!
Life is short! Don’t let porn siphon your vitality and time away!