SUCCESS! I just wanted to share this with everyone – I have actually felt cured for a few months now, but i only now have time to repeat my story 😉 I wasn’t a bad case, i didn’t delve too deep into the porn pit, a few hardcore bits here and there, but nothing too extraordinary. I could get an erection with my brand new girlfriend that didn’t last very long – almost embarrassing me on our first night together. Luckily i sealed the deal – i had no idea what was wrong with me.
I had no idea it was porn, i continued to watch it, the more extreme end of what i was looking at was taking over from the softer stuff i used to love – i had no idea what it was doing to me.
I had my first (and only) panic attack in November last year, seriously depressed and it looked like there was no way out. I was still having a lot of sex, i just didn’t particularly feel connected. On January 9th 2013, i found out about PIED, and from then my life changed. I haven’t watched porn since, and have only masturbated a maximum of 5 times. My gf came back from holiday 9 days later, and we had sex 13 times in 2 days – yet i felt like i might have been gay because i didn’t feel very connected – i experienced massive headaches each time. This was the massive spike of dopamine, and after this, i fell into a state of, i hope this no porn works – i want to feel myself again, and a sense of failure.
Cue a few months of feeling actually really low, not wanting to do anything, life had no real meaning, i was still able to have sex, but took cialis occasionally to help me along. It helped in the moment, but i think it hindered my healing overall. I would advise you take it if you need to, but beware that it may make the process longer.
I am HAPPY to say, that i no longer need Cialis, i want sex all the time with my girlfriend – i see her boobs and i sometimes get hard, i kiss her softly out in public, i get hard, we snuggle in bed, you bet I’m hard. Sometimes we have sex 7 x a day, sometimes until my brain hurts! A couple of days after a marathon, I’m good to go again. I haven’t looked at porn since the 9th January – i haven’t masturbated since May.
Real life is so much more rewarding than porn – even if we leave the sex out of the equation – after all the anxiety, worry, joylessness of the start of this process, you will feel refreshed, confident, and attracted to real women again, rather than their digital, entirely made up counterparts. Trust me, when this process is over, you will look at an image on the screen and it will not turn you on, because it is fake, staged and your brain knows it now. It can get its kicks from real life, from your girlfriend or every single beautiful woman on the street.
I’ve been with my girlfriend since before the beginning of this process – she has no idea how much she has helped me. I kept it hidden most of the time for fear of hurting her. Now i feel like myself again, i want to forget the bad times, and move onwards and upwards. We’ve now been together for a year – were both very happy, such a long way from sitting alone in my room, antisocial and watching porn in the evenings.
To sum up – replace simulated sex, whether using your own hand, or helping it along with porn, with real life women of any shape, size colour etc. Trust me, if your patient, you will reap the rewards.
Good luck everyone, we all need it!
His journal – I consider myself lucky – 100 Days (Os with GF)