So I never gave the 30, 60 , 90 day reports and I felt that it was about time to give one. My nofap journey began back in 2005 after watching the movie “40 Days and 40 Nights” and the Seinfeld season 4 episode “The Contest”. A few friends of mine and I decided to make our own contest and put money on it. I edged to some porn dvd’s somebody let me borrow about 20 days in and lost, but I was curious to see if I could go further. When Lent season came around I decided to pull a 40 Days and 40 Nights. I actually made it. I felt pretty vigorous toward the end of the streak. But I wasn’t aware of the full on effects of nofap at that time so I just happily fapped away for another year until next Lent. I actually went over 65 days on the second time, and 40 days the third time.
I didn’t bother with nofap for the next couple of years after that. Looking back though, I realized that any time I had abstained from pmo I was like a completely different person. More aggressive, I was already quick witted but without pmo I was even faster on the draw. My personality was more magnetic. I actually noticed it in while I was attending the university. I purposely would go for a few days without pmo just to get more looks from the coeds, but school stress would build up and I would pmo again to escape it. I had rationalized that masturbating to porn was a better alternative to getting a girlfriend or multiple fwb’s and using them for sex, so I rejected the offers I received from interested girls. In hindsight I should have been more receptive. I definitely wouldn’t have wasted time indulging in porn had I actually been in a real relationship. I wasn’t really all that deep into anything kinky either, just the standard porny fare. I enjoyed the flirting , but I was too afraid of knocking up anyone or using them as a receptacle and toying with their emotions.
Eventually my nofap started up again about midway through school, but only during lent. During these times, however, I would either edge for hours or be too busy to spend time looking at porn. And I would always return to fapping right after. So fast forward to 2013; I had reached the conclusion that I was tired of wasting time fapping and feeling like crap for it. Job hunting and student loans can rack up the stress, but it’s no excuse for not being productive. So I began to officially nofap around mid September at the same time I started a 5 day water fast. During the water fast I learned a little more about resolve than I had expected. It helped me make it through to February until I got a “helping hand” from a woman I chatted up. A week later I watched a cheesecake 80’s movie that starred a busty blonde. She got naked in the movie but it wasn’t ever really anything beyond just nudity. But it was enough to set me off and I ended up edging to umm…”completion” after a four month streak. I decided to binge for a day and get it out of my system and moderately pmo until Lent.
So I started hard mode again for the last time, hopefully, in March. I’ve been riding the highs and lows since. And man, the highs are so high and lows swing way low, fellow fapstronaughts, as I’m sure you well know. The usual “superpowers” took hold. I’ve never had a problem with holding eye contact, but I usually didn’t look too deeply with strangers due to the inadvertent threatening aspect of it. Now I really don’t even care. I’m bolder about talking to strangers too. I recognize other people’s body language more. To paraphrase Sherlock Holmes, I am beginning to observe more of what I actually see. I’m aggressive, but very calm and polite. I actually had a job interview today and I breezed right through it, I was just so calm and confident.
I flirt a lot more than I used to, but after the second flatline I’ve kind of hit an even keel. It’s almost as if I’m accustomed to being in control, mostly, and the novelty of it has worn off. I’ve risked a few triggering incidences, but overall I haven’t edged too much (watch out for cam girls! They chat with you and come on command and some of them are even your former favorite porn actresses!). When I started I was very proactive about dating, but lately I’ve pretty much put it on the back burner. Running into a lot of duds hasn’t really restored my faith in finding a woman where I live, too.
Anyway, I have more to say but I’ll let it be for now. I’m glad I found “your brain on porn.com” back in August which eventually led to this subreddit. If you haven’t already take a look at young-goddess.com, a great personal tale from someone in the porn industry. Also check out Don Jon for a decent Hollywood version of porn habits. Stay proactive with your life and stay vigilant. Remember that the urges are natural, but you don’t have to act on them and you shouldn’t need to masturbate to sate them. A man chooses. A slave obeys. Don’t waste yourself on pictures and videos. Become who you are supposed to be. No matter how far you fall, you are able to rise.
LINK – 150 day Report